


Broken

by gryffind0r_d0rk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Harry Potter, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, Gay Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Has Nightmares, Harry Potter Has PTSD, Harry Potter is Bad at Feelings, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Self-Harm, Survivor Guilt, harry potter is depressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 41
Words: 44,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26989336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffind0r_d0rk/pseuds/gryffind0r_d0rk
Summary: The Dark Lord has finally been defeated. All Harry Potter wants is to finish his last year at Hogwarts and live a normal and happy life. But that can be challenging when you're the most famous wizard alive. And when your eighth year changes everything.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas
Comments: 37
Kudos: 163





	1. So Much Death

The flash of green light. A high pitched cackling. Screams, cries, blood, and death. So much death. So many lives lost, all because of one boy. One boy got to live in the place of so many more. One life, compared to hundreds. Remus, Tonks, Fred, Sirius, even Colin. Lavender Brown, Snape, Dumbledore. One death after another. Never ceasing. But that's what life is, isn't it? A countdown to death. Death is inevitable, people aren't.

Harry James Potter, the boy who lived. The one that defeated Voldemort. A hero, some say. He begged to differ. Harry was nothing more than a broken, depressed murderer. A murderer. That's who he was. He was responsible for all those deaths. It was his fault that so many family are grieving. It was his fault that those people would never breathe again. Everything was his fault. No one else could see that, but he could. He knew.

Hogwarts. Just another thing Harry helped destroy. The only place he felt at home, and he destroyed it. Partially. 

And after everything he did, they want him to go back? Harry couldn't believe it. Hadn't they all personally watched him kill the Dark Lord? Hadn't they seen what he's done? Even before the war, he was a horrible person. Impulsive, angry, stubborn. And yet, he was happy. And that was what was so sick. How he walked around, laughing and smiling, not even caring about all the evil in the world. He was happy. Now...

\-------------------------------------

Hermione stepped out of the fireplace, clearing away the mess she had made with a flick of her wand. She walked away, and up the stairs, to the room containing Mr. Harry James Potter himself. She sighed to herself when she saw him. He looked so...

"Harry," she began, making him jump a little. "Did you hear? We're going back to Hogwarts!" She tried to sound cheery for her friend, hoping to see a smile on his face, something he did so little nowadays.

"Hey 'Mione." He gave a weak attempt at a smile as he turned to look at her.

"Are you going to go?"

"Maybe," he shrugged. 

"Harry, everyone would be delighted if you did. You could see your friends, the professors, Hagrid."

Hagrid held the limp, pale body in his arms. Dead. Harry Potter was dead. 

"Harry!" Hermione was waving a hand in front of Harry's face.

"Sorry?"

"Did you hear me? You spaced out..."

"Oh, uh...yeah, I heard you." He had not, in fact , heard a word of what she had said.

"So, is it a yes or a no?" 

"Yes," he answered, but it came out as more of a question.

"Great! Start packing! Ron will be ecstatic! He was hoping you'd say yes, but with how you've been since..." her voice trailed off, and she quickly tried to change the subject. Hermione knew Harry hated any mention of the war, and she understood. The war hit them all hard, just some more than others. "Anyway, just to pack your things and we'll head down to the Weasley's! " Hermione have a small squeal of delight. The Weasley's? Harry was quite confused, but then he, surprisingly, put two and two together. Hermione must have asked if he wanted to stay at the Weasley's.

"Brilliant. How long will I be staying again?" 

" Till we go to Hogwarts of course! Oh Harry, everyone will be so happy to see you." She pulled him into a bone crushing hug. 

\---------------------------

"Harry!" Ron came running out the door the second he and Hermione had apparated there, like he had been waiting at the window. Honestly, he probably had been. Another bone crushing hug was given.

"Ron...I need to breathe." he wheezed. 

"Right, sorry mate." Harry was released from the hug when Ginny came running up to him.

"No hugs!" he said quickly.

"That's fine," she replied, and she pulled him into a long, deep kiss. Ron cleared his throat. Harry and Ginny pulled away after that. Harry couldn't help but think the kiss felt a bit...different.

Harry shook it off, telling himself it was nothing. He brought his trunk into the house, taking it up to Ron's room. He absent-mindedly turned to let Hedwig out of her cage. His heart clenched. "Right," he told himself, "I killed her too."


	2. Just a Break

It had been a week with the Weasley's, and a little over two months since the Battle of Hogwarts. Each day got worse for Harry. But, if it was this hard for him, he couldn't even begin to imagine what the Weasley's must be going through. So, naturally, he decided he was done with his stupid emotions. What good did they ever do anyone anyway? He was going to trap his own thoughts so deep inside himself, they wouldn't ever be able to get out. Wall after wall, built to protect him from himself. 

Harry also decided that he should be more concerned with everyone else. They were all worried about him, but he could see no reason why. He was fine. they needed help. They needed Harry to be the comforting friend they were used to. So he put on his old, happy, face, and he went down to breakfast.

"Good morning everyone!" Harry exclaimed, a huge, bright smile plastered on his face. Everyone stopped eating and looked up at him for a few seconds, but they eventually went about their day, and continued to eat breakfast. Harry himself took a seat between Ron and Ginny. She held his hand under the table, rubbing circles with her thumb. For some reason, the touch made him feel...tense? He didn't know how to describe it.

Harry took a deep breath. What was happening? He loved Ginny, he knew that. It was just so different now.

"Harry, are you ok?" Ron questioned with a mouth full of food.

"I'm fine. Really I am. Just not very hungry. I think I'll be in the garden of anyone needs me." And with that, he got up, and walked outside. Then he just thought, about everything. He thought about the war, and his friends. He thought about treacle tarts, and his parents. Heck, he even thought about Malfoy.

Somewhere along the lines, Ginny came up. The only thing he could think was sister. Ginny was like a sister to him. He loved her, just not in that way. Didn't he? Everything was so confusing, he really had no idea what to do. 

Ginny walked into the garden, looking for her boyfriend. Despite what he had said, she really didn't think he was ok. She found the boy sitting down, picking at the grass. "Hey Harry." She sat down next to him. He looked up at her, and panicked. What was he going to do?

"Hey Gin. Whatcha doing?" 

"I wanted to make sure you were ok. You kinda left, in the middle of breakfast."

"Oh right. Just needed to clear my head, I guess." They didn't talk for a little while, before Harry said, "Ginny, so you love me?"

"Well, yes, of course I do."

"But how? Do you love me like a boyfriend, or like a brother?" Ginny had never really thought about it. She thought for a few moments.

"I'm not sure, really."

"Do you think, we could take a break, to figure ourselves out. Not breaking up officially, just a break."

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds okay." Harry let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you Gin."

\-------------------------------

Ron burst into the room. "YOU BROKE UP WITH MY SISTER!"

Harry looked at him with confusion. "Uh, no. We're just taking a break to figure things out. What's it to you, anyway.

"I-" he paused, not really sure. "I don't know, I just care alright.

"I'm going to bed," he stated, and plopped onto his bed without another word, not even bothering to change. He didn't fall asleep though. He couldn't. He never wanted to sleep again.


	3. Teddy

Harry sat outside, waiting for Teddy and Dora. He heard a crack, and he perked up. There she was, cradling a small child in her arms. The baby was a few months old now. He'd been staying with his grandma, although Harry came to visit occasionally. 

Harry had invited them to dinner with the Weasley's, but he really just wanted to see his godson. "He's gotten so big!" Harry said, with a genuine smile on his face. 

Dora chuckled. "I know, isn't he adorable?! How are you Harry?" she asked, her voice soft and warm, but you could tell she was serious.

"Don't worry about me," he stated with a wave of his hand. "How are you?"

"I'm hanging in there, just miss her sometimes." Harry nodded in understanding. Dora's daughter was Tonks, Teddy's mother.

"Well, I hope you like lasagna. Mrs. Weasley is a fantastic cook!" Dora gave a warm smile, and Harry led her inside. 

\------------------------------

Everyone laughed. The air was light and happy, even George cracked a smile. The whole family had come to dinner, even Percy. The family had decided to forgive him for being a stupid git for a few years.

Dora was enjoying herself, and Teddy was, well he was the reason most were laughing. His hair and eye color kept changing, and his nose had even changed for a second. Harry remembered when Tonks would keep everyone, especially Hermione and Ginny, laughing endlessly during meals. He gave a sad smile at the thought.

He picked at his food, not really in the mood to eat. Harry wasn't even really hungry. He looked up at Teddy, who was sporting bright orange hair and grey eyes at the time. He was a metamorphmagus, just like his mother had been. 'Too bad he'll never get to meet her, because of you,' he thought. Frowning, he stood up.

"I'll be right back," he told everyone, and went up the many flights of stairs. When he got to the room he was staying in, he went to his trunk, and opened it. When he found what he was looking for, he turned and sat on the bed. He took the Maurader's Map, and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"I swear I'm up to something," he spoke softly, messing up purposely.

Mr. Moony says that Harry of all people should know the correct password, seeing as he is who he is. Harry gave a quiet chuckle.

Mr. Wormtail wishes Harry to know that he is sorry for the pain he caused him. 'Great,' Harry thought, 'now I can add another death to my guilty conscience.'

Mr. Padfoot says Harry is always up to something, and he wonders what he's doing now. Surely he knows the password.

Mr. Prongs thinks that Harry's father would be very proud of the man he's become.

Mr. Padfoot agrees with Mr. Prongs.

Mr. Moony would also like to thank Harry for watching over his son.

Harry closed the map, smiling sadly. He got up, brushed away the tears, and made his way back down to dinner. 

"-just worried about him. He doesn't eat much anymore, and he's always hiding up in his room," he heard Hermione say. He frowned at the thought of everyone talking about him behind his back. How often did they do it?

Mrs. Weasley seemed to notice him there, because she said, quite awkwardly, "Oh, Harry dear, your back. Come sit down and finish eating!" Hermione went red from embarrassment. Harry went back to wear he was sitting, and an uncomfortable silence filled the room for the rest of dinner. 

\-----------------------------------

After Dora and Teddy left, Harry went to his room without another word. When Ron came in, he pretended to be asleep. He eventually ended up falling asleep anyway.

Hermione's screams filled the entire cellar. Ron was in hysterics, trying to break out and help. Harry knew they would all die soon. And it was his fault. They were going to die because of him. Just then, there was a crack, and Dobby appeared, coming to rescue them. Harry told him to take Ollivander and Luna first. Another crack, and the three were gone.

Wormtail walked in, and Harry and Ron threw themselves on him. Wormtail began to choke Harry. But a split second of hesitation cost him his life. Another death. They rushed up the stairs. Bellatrix put a knife to Hermione's throat. Dobby dropped the chandelier, and they all barely escaped. But not before Bellatrix could throw the dagger, which found its way to Dobby's chest. Another death. 

Harry awoke to Ron shaking his shoulder, although he hardly notices. All he can see is the pool of blood surrounding Dobby as he takes his final breaths. He presses the palms of his hands to try and remove the image from his eyes. He's panting, and covered in sweat. Ron's still trying to calm him down, when Hermione comes running into the room, followed by Ginny.

"Is he ok? I heard screaming and..." Hermione looks down at Harry. She walks over, and sits next to him. "Harry, hey look at me." Harry looks up. "I need you to tell me about your nightmare. What happened?" She used a calm, soothing voice. Harry shakes his head no. "Harry, come on. Talking might help."

"Screaming. There was screaming," he pants.

"Who was screaming?"

"You."

"Me?" He nods.

"We were at the manor...Malfoy Manor...there was screaming...Dobby..."

"Shhh...it's ok. We aren't there anymore. Your safe."

"Dobby," he says, hugging his knees, and banging his head against them.

"He's safe too. Go back to sleep Harry."

"No, I can't. I-I...no."

After a few more minutes, Harry had calmed down enough. He told the others to go back to bed, and he went outside to sit in the grass, the slightest noise making him jump.


	4. Birthdays

Harry opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by Hermione, Ron, Luna Lovegood, and...

"NEVILLE! LUNA! AH, WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE, I WAS SLEEPING!"

" Happy birthday Harry!" Neville said, a huge smile across his face.

"Birthday? What are you talking about? Its not my..." It was definitely his birthday. Harry had forgotten his own birthday. "Ok, it's my birthday. What are you and Luna doing here?"

" Isn't it obvious Harry?" Luna asked. "We've come to surprise you!" 

" Oh," he replied. "Well, you surprised me. Can I go back to sleep now?"

" Harry, it's your birthday. You are not spending it in your bed sleeping all day." Hermione insisted. "Now get up, Mrs. Weasley's downstairs making breakfast for us all."

Harry groaned, and sat up in his bed. The one time he can actually get a good night's sleep, and he's awoken by his friends because it's his birthday. What's the big deal with birthdays anyway? Why would you want to celebrate another year living in the guilt of all the horrible things you've done. Birthdays are absolutely depressing if you think about it. 'No, stop that,' he told himself. If celebrating his birthday will make his friends happy, then he should do it. Their happiness is more important than anything.

\---------------------------

The day was happy and positively perfect for everyone. Well, everyone except Harry. He didn't know why, he just really wanted to be alone. No reason, he just felt like it. 

No one seemed to notice Harry's mood. He was getting exceptionally good at hiding how he was feeling. The only time he couldn't hide it was after one of those horrid nightmares. He shuddered just thinking about them. 

Harry received gifts, admired a lovely dinner, and an even better cake. Neville and Luna seemed to be enjoying themselves. Harry was glad. But when they finally left, Harry immediately relaxed. He was exhausted, and all he wanted to do was lie down. Not sleep though, just lie down.

\------------------------------

Hermione was getting quite worried about Harry. He hardly ate or slept anymore, you could tell just by looking at him. He had heavy bags under his eyes, and he was getting quite skinny again. He always seemed so happy, and yet so empty. Hermione decided she was going to do something about it. She went up to Ron's room, knowing Harry would be awake. She knocked on the door twice, and opened it when she heard a voice say, "Come in."

"Harry, I have one more present for you."

"What is it?" 

"It's not really what. Well, it is, but...just...it's kinda a place. I'll take you there tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok..." he replied, getting more confused by the minute. 

"Ok, good night Harry. Happy Birthday." She smiled softly and left the room, closing the door behind her.


	5. The Diagnosis

"Hermione, where are we even going?"

"You'll see Harry. Just...don't freak out, ok?"

"Why would I freak out?

"Nevermind."

They continued driving for a while. Harry had absolutely no idea where they were going. Although that was normal for Harry. He was quite oblivious. He was so oblivious, that he was oblivious to the fact that he WAS oblivious.

When they finally stopped, Harry looked up. Where were they? Hermione led him through the door, and they went to the front desk. 

"Hello, I'm here for the 3:00 appointment for Harry Potter."

The secretary looked up and peered at him through her glassed. If he was being honest, it was quite frightening. He squirmed under her stare, growing quite uncomfortable.

"Alright, just take a seat over there, and wait until your name is called. While your waiting, please fill out these forms." Hermione nodded, and grabbed the papers. Then they sat down.

"Hermione, what did she mean appointment? Why am I here? Where is here exactly?" 

"Harry relax. This is my other gift to you, remember. You'll thank me later." I hope, she added in her head. Harry just nodded, and took a seat next to her. They waited while Hermione filled out the forms. She would occasionally stop and ask him a random question, like, "How much do you weigh?" or something similar. 

"Harry Potter," someone called. Harry looked up.

"Right here!" Hermione said. She grabbed Harry's hand, and dragged him along with her. She handed the secretary lady the forms back. Harry assumed they were filled out, but Hermione hadn't let him see them.

They walked into an office that smelled a bit weird. Then someone in a blue outfit asked him to sit on this bed covered in paper, that made a horribly annoying noise every time he moved. She checked him eyes, ears, nose, throat. Then she took out this hammer-looking this, and whacked his knees with it, making them shoot up. That's when everything clicked on his brain. He waited for the nurse to leave, and eventually she did.

Harry turned to Hermione, anger bubbling up inside of him.

"A DOCTOR! SERIOUSLY HERMIONE! I'M FINE!!!" He was, in fact, not fine. He was so angry, he just wanted to punch something. Harry screamed in frustration. He'd never even been to the doctor before. The Dursley's never took him in for check-ups or whatever they did here.

"But your not fine Harry. Don't you see! I'm trying to help you."

"HOW IS THIS GOING TO HELP! HAVING THE DOCTORS TELL ME EVERYTHING WRONG WITH ME!" Hermione was trying not to get angry, but it was so hard. Couldn't he see that this was best? Couldn't he see that this would help? Couldn't he see that he wasn't ok?

"Harry-" The doctor walked into the room. Harry tried to make a break for the exit, but Hermione stepped in front of the door. He almost apparated before he realized that this was a muggle place. He sighed in defeat , and walked over to the doctor.

\------------------------------

Post traumatic stress disorder. More commonly known as PTSD. Harry Potter had PTSD. Wait till that got out, he'd make the front page of The Daily Prophet for a week. He groaned at the thought. 

The thing is he didn't just have PTSD. He also had depression, and an eating disorder. If he had any of those he had before the war, he wasn't sure. Either way, he thought he was pretty messed up. 

Hermione looked over at Harry as the doctor explained everything. She couldn't think of how she hadn't realized any of this before. He had seemed so genuinely happy. Hermione felt terrible that she hadn't been there enough. 

She told him just that when they were getting in the car. Harry groaned. "Don't even start Hermione, I don't need your pity. I was handling it all just fine, not that I knew what "it" was, while you were off snogging Ron." Hermione turned a deep red.

"Harry, I just want to hel-"

"I don't need your help Hermione! I'm 18 for Merlin's sake!" They rode the rest of the way in silence.

\--------------------------

Ron was waiting for them when they got back.

"What'd the doctor say?" he asked, worry painted all over his face.

Harry turned to Hermione. "DID YOU TELL EVERYONE WHERE WE WENT!" Apparently he was talking to her again, though Hermione wasn't sure the yelling was any better.

"Harry, we were just worried. Can you blame us?"

"HERMIONE THIS IS MY LIFE! CAN YOU STAY OUT OF IT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!!!"

"Harry calm down, your acting like a real git." Ron didn't approve of the way Harry was talking to Hermione and him. They were just trying to help.

"SHUT UP RON! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE A NORMAL PERSON ONE MINUTE, AND THEN FIND OUT YOUR A COMPLETE FREAK THE NEXT!"

"You aren't a freak Harry," Hermione said softly.

"Aren't I? I'm a freak. My stupid aunt and uncle were right. I'm a bloody freak, Hermione." A few tears had started to spill from his eyes. 

"You are not a freak. You never were," Hermione whispered in his ear as she embraced him. Ron joined the hug, and they stayed like that for a few more minutes. In his friends arms, Harry didn't feel like as much of a freak. But there was still that small part inside him, that said that he was. He didn't deserve his friends. He didn't deserve to eat. He didn't even deserve to live. He was supposed to be dead right now. He was supposed to be free.


	6. Back Again

Harry woke up with a groan. Today they were leaving for Hogwarts. It had been a month since Harry's trip to the doctor, and nothing was any better. What's the point of being diagnosed if nothing changes?

The thing was, Hermione wasn't sure Harry should go to Hogwarts anymore. She warned him, again and again, that it could trigger a PTSD attack. He'd had one just that past week. It was quite frightening for everyone else, but Harry had brushed it off and said it was nothing.

At Hogwarts, there are plenty of places connected with bad memories. Hermione wasn't sure Harry could handle it all. But Harry insisted he go, to finish his education. He had been offered a job as an auror a little while back, but turned it down. He had lost all interest in becoming one. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but he'd find something.

Harry got out of bed, showered, changed, and tried to fix his hair, but it was no use. It stuck up everywhere, especially in the back. He sighed, and started packing his trunk. It was supposed to be done yesterday, but Harry had been to exhausted to pack anything. Although, he didn't actually fall asleep until about 4 a.m. 

When his trunk was packed, he brought it down. Ron and Hermione were snogging in the kitchen, so Harry went outside to sit for a while. The air was nice, not too hot, not too cold. There was a slight breeze, and it was a clear sky. It was perfect. He laid down in the grass, and closed his eyes. It was exceptionally peaceful. That is, until Ron burst out the door, going on and on about the Chudley Cannons, Hermione close behind. Harry flinched at the sudden noise, and sat up straight.

"Done snogging then?" he asked, turning to face the two. They blushed and looked at Harry.

"We-uh...well," Ron cleared his throat. "Ready to go?"

"Yep," Harry replied, standing up. He walked over to the two lovers, and they apparated to Platform 9 3/4. 

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were already there with Ginny, smothering her with hugs and kisses. Harry would have laughed, but he knew she'd be doing the same to him soon. And he was quite right. As soon and Molly spotted the three, she rushed over and hugged Harry so tight, he couldn't really breathe. He contemplated letting her continue until he stopped, breathing that is, but decided against it. When she pulled away, she kept her hands on his shoulders.

"Be careful dear. Make sure you eat, and try and get some sleep." She gave his shoulders one last squeeze, before hugging Ron. Harry looked around the platform. He looked around for anyone familiar, trying to see who else was coming back for the year. 

He saw Dean and Seamus, hand in hand, and made his way toward them. By the looks of it, they had finally admitted their feelings for one another. Harry gave a small smile.

"Finally together I see," he said to the two. 

"That we are. How are you and Ginny doing?" Dean responded, grinning at Seamus before turning back to Harry.

"We're actually taking a break right now," he told them.

"Really? Why?" Seamus questioned.

"Just figuring things out," he stated. "Anyway, how was your summer holiday?"

"Not back actually. Dean met my parents...that part made me a bit of a nervous wreck, to be honest."

"Well, it turned out fine," Dean smiled, giving Seamus a small kiss on the forehead. Harry nodded, although something else caught his eye, or rather someone. It was Malfoy, walking along the platform, head ducked, people yelling and spitting at him as he walked past them. One man even tried to trip him.

Harry hadn't seen him since his trial, where he testified. It was only right, seeing as how he had saving Harry's life, that Harry saved is. Just the thought of Azkaban made him shudder slightly.

Harry had also spoken at Narcissa's trial. She was on house arrest for a little while, but at least it wasn't Azkaban. 

Harry had not, however, spoken at Lucius's trial. He had been nothing but cruel, Azkaban seemed the right place for him. He felt bad, sometimes, but Lucius had never shown a sign of redemption, or mercy. He was just plain evil. An evil coward.

Watching Malfoy now, he began to feel sorry for the guy. He watched as he silently, head still bowed, made his way onto the train.

"Harry!" Seamus yelled. Harry snapped out of his trance.

"What?" he asked, somewhat confused.

"You've been staring at Malfoy for the past three minutes," Dean answered, holding back a laugh by the looks of it. 

"I have no idea what your talking about." Harry tone had a finality to it, ending the conversation. " I'll see you guys later." Harry walked back over to Ron and Hermione.

"Let's go find an empty compartment," Harry commented, and they left Ron's parents with a final goodbye, getting on the train. Looks and whispered followed the three as they looked for somewhere to sit.

They passed the compartment they had sat in when Harry was in his third year. Harry had been attacked by dementors. He could still remember the cold, empty sadness that had filled him as he had passed out. He could still remember him mother's screams. And the older man they had shared the compartment with, who turned out to be one of his dad's best friends. He could still remember Remus's stiff body when he had found him lying next to the other dead bodies just a couple months ago. He could remember the night Remus had come, with news of his child's birth, the smile he wore when he asked if Harry would be the godfather. Or when he taught Harry how to cast the patronus charm. Over and over, memories of Remus Lupin played in Harry's head. He hasn't even noticed he had stopped walking.

Hermione and Ron watched as Harry stared at the compartment they had occupied in third year, no longer moving. He just...stared at it. A single tear fell and rolled down his left cheek. He hasn't noticed. After five minutes, Ron shook Harry's shoulder lightly, causing him to come back to his senses. He looked over his shoulder at Ron.

"Come on mate, let's go find a place to sit," Ron said in a soft voice, almost like it was fragile. Harry nodded, a solemn expression on his face. They found a compartment, and sat in silence for another ten minutes, Harry wrapped in Hermione's arms, her head resting on his shoulder, Ron on the other side of Hermione. The three stayed like that, not even noticing the compartment door opening. That is, until an all to familiar voice spoke.


	7. The Train Ride

Draco watched the raven-haired boy for a moment before he spoke. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in a long time. He wore a grim face, and it even looked as though he had a few grey hairs, though they wouldn't be noticeable unless you were looking closely. The war, it seemed, had done his fair share on the boy who lived. 

Harry's state worried the blond, though he wouldn't admit it. He had absolutely no clue as to why he was worrying in the first place. He came to the conclusion that he was confused, not worried. 

Life for the ferret had changed immensely after the war. He had had his trial, and had been pardoned, though his mother had been put on house arrest. He, of course, had stayed with her, keeping her company in the empty, gloomy manor. As much as Draco loved his mother, he had hated his time there. It seemed every inch of Malfoy Manor had been infested with had memories. Just the feeling you would get being there was horrible. The Dark Lord had destroyed his one home; the place he'd once been happy in.

Draco would admit he hadn't grown up in the best environment. His parents, more specifically his father, had taught him to believe in things he now knew to be false. But despite all that, he really did love his parents. He did feel that his father deserved Azkaban though. A man can make his own choices, and suffer the consequences to follow. His father had made his choices, and these were the consequences.

Emerging from his thoughts, Draco cleared his throat. "Can I sit in here?" Draco's voice was small, and he cringed just hearing it.

Awoken from their deep trance, the three startled, and looked up. Malfoy was standing a few feet in front of them, clearly uncomfortable. Hands behind his back, he shifted his feet, growing a bit pink from embarrassment. 

"Yeah, ok," Harry replied. Malfoy nodded and moved to the seat farthest from the three, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He stared out the window, deep in thought.

\---------------------------

The train ride was quite uncomfortable for the four. About halfway through, Hermione gave in, wanting to breaking the troublesome silence. She cast a quick muffliato charm around the trio.

"Ok, I have a few things to say. One, this silence is unbearable. Two, Ron, I cannot believe that your hungry right now," she said, acknowledging the noise his stomach was making. "We ate a few hours ago. And three, this thing between us and Malfoy is stupid, and it needs to end right now." Harry and Ron were quiet for about another minute, before Harry spoke.

"Your right, we have bigger things to worry about then a petty rivalry." He glanced at Malfoy, who was in the same position he had been in when he first sat down. His eyes were closed, but he wasn't asleep.

Ron looked between the two of them, still unsure. "But wha-" Hermione interrupted him.

"Ron, I'm not asking for us to suddenly become all buddy-buddy. Just being civil to each other for once." He thought again, and gave a quick nod. Hermione removed the charm, and turned around, so that they were all facing the blond.

Feeling their stares, Draco opened his eyes, and looked over at them. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Hermione stepped forward, taking charge. "Yes."

"Well, what is it Granger?"

Harry, Ron and I have agreed to end this foolish rivalry with you. We apologize for what we've said or done in the past. We hope you can forgive us, and our friendship is and always will be, available to you." Ron gave her a look at that. "Oh, and you can call me Hermione." 

Draco looked taken aback. He was definitely not expecting that. But he wasn't a kid anymore, and such matters did seem rather childish now. "Alright," he said, closing his eyes again, a small smile forming as the trio turned away.

Just then two people walked in, looking exasperated. "There you are Draco. Blaise and I have checked every compartment on this entire train looking for you." It was only then, that Pansy noticed the other three people with them. "And I find you here, with Potter, Granger, and the Weasel."

Draco stared at his friends. Finally, he spoke up. "Hello Pansy. Blaise." He nodded his head to each of them. "Glad you found me. Oh, and these three and I have decided to set aside our differences. So if you could refrain from the crude nicknames, that would be most appreciated." Then they gazed at each other some more, before bursting out in laughter. Harry, Ron and Hermione shared a confused look, but ignored it after a while. In all honesty, Draco, Pansy and Blaise weren't sure why they were laughing either. It just felt so good, so they kept on going. 

Harry watched Malfoy, listening to him laughing. It was honestly the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. He wished he could record it, and play it over and over again. It was then he realized what he had been thinking for the past minute, and he quickly stopped. What in the name of Merlin was happening to him?

\----------------------------

The train pulled to a stop at the station in Hogsmeade, the carriages waiting to take then to the school. Harry remembered one of his most recent visits here, that happened just hours before the Battle of Hogwarts. 

Dementors swarmed the streets. Harry, Ron and Hermione were trapped, the only thing keeping them from the death eaters being Harry's invisibility cloak. One wrong move, and they were toast. One foot, finger, tip of the shoe showing, and they were caught. The dementors only got closer, filling the air with gloom and despair. Harry just wanted to get away, but the dementors were getting a bit too close. Expecto Patronum!

"Harry, mate. You were doing it again. Come on, Hermione found us a carriage with Neville and Luna." Ron gave Harry a worried look, before leading him to the carriages. He looked around. It seemed the thestrals were getting a lot more attention this year.


	8. Dorms

Slowly, the castle came into view. Images came flooding into Harry's brain. 

Tonks, walking him back to Hogwarts after finding him on the train with a broken nose.

Dumbledore, flying with him up to the Astronomy tower.

With Ron, in second year, when they crashed into the whomping willow.

And, now, his final year. One more year, and then who knows what. Harry had no idea what he was going to do after this. 

\------------------------------

They sat down in the Great Hall, Harry next to Neville, and Ron and Hermione across from them. Ginny was on Harry's other side. They were still friends, after all.

The sorting began. Harry remembered his sorting; he had almost been put in Slytherin. He watched as child after child got sorted. When the sorting ended, Professor McGonagall stood up. She was the new headmaster.

"Welcome back students. And first years, welcome to Hogwarts. I know your all excited to be back, but please keep in mind that certain areas of the school are still under construction. They are temporarily blocked of for your safety until further notice. Before the feast begins, I would like to ask all eighth years to stay back after dinner. Now, you all must be famished, so, let the feast begin."

Food appeared, lining the four tables. Harry hardly noticed, not that he was hungry anyway. After Hermione had filled her plate, she began piling foods onto Harry's plate. 

"Hermione, I'm not hungry."

"Nonsense Harry. You have to eat."

Harry stared down at the now full plate of food. He felt sick just looking at it all. Harry shook his head, and pushed his plate slightly forward. 

Across the hall, Draco was sitting with the other Slytherin eighth years. There were only four who actually came. Pansy, Blaise, himself, and a guy named Theodore Nott. He was quite nice, actually. The other three engaged in conversation, but Draco was watching Potter. He wasn't eating. Draco frowned.

Pansy noticed Draco staring, and followed his gaze. She smirked when she saw he was watching Potter. Draco had liked Potter since third year. She still remembered the day he burst into the common room, freaking out about having feelings for Potter. 

"Draco, I know Potter looks great and all, but maybe instead of him, you could eat your dinner," she smirked, feeling satisfied when he turned red and grabbed the green apple off his plate.

"Shut up Pansy," he muttered before taking a bite of the apple.

\--------------------------

After dinner, the eighth years stayed back, as told. Professor McGonagall stood yet again, addressing the students.

"Due to these unusual circumstances, we have had to make a few adjustments. The eighth years will have their own dorm, and take classes together. However, you are still in your separate houses, so house points can still be taken and given. If you would follow me, I can show you to your dorm, and we'll go from there."

They followed McGonagall through the castle to their new dorm. They stopped when they got to a portrait of a wizard with long, chocolate brown hair. The man had an even longer beard, braided all the way down to his waist. The headmaster said the password, and the portrait door opened. The students filed into the room, looking around as they did. 

The common room had three long desks spread out along the back wall. There was a fireplace, with two sofas facing it at a slight angle. One wall was entirely made of books, seeing as the wall itself was a bookshelf. Everything was neutral colors, nothing bright like their previous common rooms. There were two hallways, one leading to the boy's dormitories, the other to the girl's. 

"Alright, these will be your roommates for the year. Potter and Longbottom," Neville and Harry high-fived at this, causing McGonagall to glare at them before continuing. "Malfoy and Nott, Zabini and Weasley, Thomas and Finnigan..." she proceeded to read off the names until finished for everyone. 

"...and finally," she called, "Parkinson and Granger." Hermione's mouth dropped. She looked over at Pansy, who looked just as shocked. This year was certainly going to be interesting.


	9. Friends, Acquaintances, and Enemies

Hermione and Pansy walked into their shared dorm room. It was quite big, for only having two people in it. There were two beds on either side of the room, and couch in the middle, with a coffee table in front. There was another door, that Hermione assumed led to the bathroom. All in all, it was a pretty sweet dorm.

Hermione glanced nervously at Pansy. She didn't want Pansy getting mad because they had to share a dorm or anything like that. But Pansy didn't seem to mind. Hermione let out a breath of relief, and went to sit on her bed. The material was a crimson red, and it was remarkably soft. Pansy's bed was the same, but the color was a dark, emerald green instead.

It was obvious to both, that the best way to make this work, was to become friends. Or, acquaintances at least. Evidently, Hermione started up a conversation.

"So, Parkinson, how are you?" Pansy looked up from her trunk, which she had been rummaging through, and took a seat on her bed so she was facing Hermione.

"I've been doing alright, thanks. And, if we're going to be sharing a dorm, I think first names will do." Hermione nodded, and smiled.

"Ok then Pansy," Pansy grinned at the sound of her name.

"Great, Hermione."

\----------------------------

Ron groaned as he made his way to his dorm, that he was now sharing with Zabini. 'How come Harry gets a room with Neville, while Hermione and I are stuck with the rotting Slytherins?' he thought to himself. 

He took a deep breath, and opened the door. Zabini was already there, laying on top of his bed, reading a book. Ron muttered under his breath as he made his was to his bed. Zabini looked up at him, scoffed, and went back to his book. Ron ignored him, and left their dorm to go find Harry and Neville.

\--------------------------

Harry and Neville made it to their dorm, before they burst out laughing. They laughed until they got stomach cramps and they had tears in their eyes. When they had finally stopped, Harry and Neville checked out the room. 

They talked until there was a loud knock at the door. Harry opened it, and Ron burst in, looking furious. That only made Harry and Neville laugh again. Harry closed the door, while Ron took a seat on the coach.

"Is something wrong?" Harry asked innocently.

"You know bloody well what's wrong Harry," Ron grumbled.

"Do I? Oh, did you lose the bonnet to your dress robes?" 

"Haha," Ron said dryly. "What am I supposed to do? My roommate is Zabini, Harry. Zabini." Harry rolled his eyes, and gave another chuckle.

"Ron, stop overreacting. Now go back to your dorm." Harry shoved a complaining Ron out of the room, and closed the door before he and Neville started laughing again. They stopped when they heard a muffled voice on the other side of the door.

"I can hear you!" Ron shouted, which made them laugh harder. Harry liked laughing again, it felt good.

\-----------------------------

Draco made his way to his new dorm with Theo. He was relieved to have gotten a door with a friend, seeing as Blaise and Pansy were stuck with the Gryffindorks. 

The day had been so crazy, he'd almost forgotten about his...truce? Can you even call it that? Sure they weren't going around hexing each other and throwing insults, but he was pretty sure that just meant they weren't going to bother with each other all year. Draco sighed, and went to his trunk. No specific reason, he just wanted something to do. 

He stopped, and looked up when he heard a series of laughter from the room next door. He snorted, then pulled out a book to read. Theo was already asleep on his bed, snoring softly. That man really did love his sleep. Draco sat down on the couch, and read, laughter starting again in the room next door. 

\----------------------------

Dean and Seamus sat down on the couch, Seamus's head resting in Dean's lap. Seamus closed his eyes, while Dean played with his hair. 

"So," Dean said, "how are we gonna get Harry and Draco together?"

"I'm not sure," Seamus responded, eyes still closed. "We could lock them in a room together, maybe play truth or dare. Then there's always spin the bottle, but that's not a guarantee unless we charm the bottle or something. There's that love potion thing, that smells like the stuff your attracted to, but I don't even know if Slughorn's doing that this year."

"Well, those are all good. We'll figure something out. We've got time." Dean kissed Seamus's forehead. "Get some sleep, Shay."

"Alright," he said, before drifting of into a deep sleep.


	10. Scarhead and Ferret

Harry, Hermione and Ron walked into the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning. Ron was still being sour about his room assignments, but Hermione didn't seem to mind. As they walked up to the Gryffindor table, Dean and Seamus were whispering about something, but stopped when the trio walked up and sat down next to them. Normally, Harry would have gotten suspicious and asked them about it or something along the lines, but he had hardly even noticed them. He was more focused on staying awake.

Harry hadn't slept in at least two weeks. He couldn't, he got nightmares every time, filling him with more guilt and grief than thought possible. The problem with not sleeping, was that he could hardly keep his eyes open anymore. Countless times, he'd almost fallen asleep during meals with the Weasley's.

Harry's head had almost his the table as he began drifting off again, but Hermione caught him at the last second. "Harry, you really should be getting more sleep. Have you tried the Dreamless Sleep potion?"

"Doesn't work," he mumbled, getting up to leave the Hall.

"Wait, Harry! You haven't eaten anything yet!"

"I'll get something from the kitchens," he lied. "See you in class."

She sighed as he walked out, before engaging in conversation with Ginny. 

\-----------------------------

Harry walked around the school, just going where his feet were taking him. Eventually he ended up by the lake. It reminded him a bit too much of the one he almost died in less than a year ago. It had been a freezing, icy lake, that he'd almost drowned in. He would have to, if Ron hadn't saved him. Harry was starting to think Ron should have just left him there.

He sat down in the grass, feeling a small morning breeze in the air. It smelled like it was going to rain, which was a bit odd since the sky was nearly clear, hardly a cloud in sight. Harry didn't mind though, he loved the smell of rain, it was so...calming. He took a deep whiff of it, then sighed. 

He heard a stick or something break behind him, and he jumped. "Sorry!" Someone said quickly. "I didn't think anyone would be here." Harry turned around and saw Malfoy standing there, looking quite red in the face. 

"Malfoy?"

"Sorry." He breathed again before turning to leave.

"Where're you going?"

"Well, I don't want to be a bother."

"Nonsense." Harry replied, looking at him like he was crazy. "When have you ever been a bother?"

Malfoy looked at him like he was insane. "Do you really want me to answer that? Do you not remember our first six years of Hogwarts? Do you not remember right now?"

"But your not bothering me. Your being completely civil right now, and I have decided that the first six years between us never happened."

"Ok." Malfoy bit back a smile. Harry stood up and walked over to him, him stomach twisting, though he wasn't sure why. Nerves, probably.

"Hello, I'm Scarhead," Harry said, holding out his hand.

"Pleased to meet you Scarhead," the blond said, taking his hand. "I'm ferret."

Harry smiled, remembering fourth year. "What a lovely name. Shall we?" he asked, gesturing toward the castle.

"We shall." They walked off to their first class, laughing and talking all the way.


	11. Did I Just Call Malfoy Cute?

Seeing as though the entire school would go bonkers if they ever found out they were friends, Scarhead and Ferret had decided to keep their newly found friendship a secret. Even so, they were together all the time. Always sneaking off when classes were over, usually hanging out in the library or the lake. The only problem, what the queasy feeling Harry got in his stomach every time he was with Malfoy. He assumed he must be allergic to something, perhaps his cologne?

Draco, on the other hand, was going quite insane spending all this time with Potter. It was all he could do not to kiss him, or hug him, or hold his hand. He had to keep reminding himself over and over again that Ha-Potter was straight. Still, the friendship was intoxicating, filling the blond's mind with unrealistic hope.

\--------------------------------

"I'm telling you 'Mione, Harry's got a secret girlfriend or something!" Ron stated. The two had noticed Harry's frequent disappearances. And he was happier than before. Not quite happy yet, but happier. 

"Well Ron, even if your right, we shouldn't go about pestering him with it. Whoever this mystery girl is, is good for him."

"But-"

"No, Ron. Harry will tell us when he wants, and that's if he's even got a girlfriend."

The ginger sighed in defeat. "Alright Hermione." Hermione nodded, stood up, and went to her room. Pansy was there, doing her potions homework. When the bushy-haired girl walked in, Pansy looked up, a smile forming on her lips.

Pansy had liked Hermione since their sixth year. She had never told anyone this, not even Draco. Although, he did know she was lesbian. 

"Hey Pansy," Hermione said, flopping onto her bed.

"Something wrong?" she asked, with a bit of humor in her voice.

"Well, Ronald thinks Harry's got a secret girlfriend now. I mean honestly, I think I would be able to tell if my bro-best friend had a girlfriend."

"You can call him your brother you know, its alright. I refer to Draco as my brother all the time," Pansy exclaimed, walking over and sitting on the edge of Hermione's bed.

"I know, it's just...nevermind. Anyway, how are you, Pansy. I feel awful coming in here and blabbing about all my problems."

"Honestly Hermione, its alright. And I'm doing great thanks." There was a silence, that was awkward, and yet...comfortable. But, Pansy broke it by saying, "Wanna play a game?"

"Sure." Hermione sat up on the bed, facing the other girl. "What game?"

"I'm not sure really. Don't know why I said that." Pansy blushed. "How about we just get to know each other a bit?"

"Ok," Hermione replied, and thought before saying, "What's your favourite class here?"

"Probably Defense Against the Dark Arts to be honest. My favourite teacher was Professor Lupin though. He was practically the only one who wasn't evil, besides Professor Snape, and Lockhart. Though he was a big fraud so, yeah."

"You would have loved the DA then. We had one of the best teachers ever."

"Really, who?" Pansy questioned, growing quite intrigued.

"Me." Hermione and Pansy both jumped.

"Harry! When did you get here?" Hermione asked, still recovering from the slight scare.

"Somewhere around Lockhart being a fraud. And might I add, Parkinson, that I wholeheartedly agree."

"What I meant was why are you here? Shouldn't you be off with your gir-" She stopped herself there, and cleared her throat. Harry furrowed his brows, looking her dead in the eye.

"Be off with who?" He asked, confusion spread all over his face, before looking at Parkinson, his eyes going wide. "What me? No, I have no idea what your talking about. Well, I better get going. Lots of homework. Bye!" he rambled, quickly exiting and shutting the door behind him. 

"Well, that was odd." Pansy said, puzzling over his strange reaction. Hermione looked at her, studying her face. But all she saw was perplexity. Funny, she could have sworn Pansy had had something to do with Harry's strange departure.

"Yes, it was."

\------------------------------

Harry paced his room, thoughts running in his head like crazy.

Did Malfoy tell Parkinson? Did she tell Hermione? Will she care? I mean, is there really anything wrong with being friends with him? He's not evil or mean or bitter. He's kind, sarcastic, bit of a drama queen, not to mention that he whines all the time. It's cute, really. Did I just call Malfoy cute?! No, I didn't say that, the stupid voice in my head did. Oh, shut up. Wait, did I just tell myself to shut up? Merlin this is getting confusing.

Harry groaned in frustration, and went out into the common room. On the way, he ran into someone, falling down from the impact. Malfoy.

"Sorry," the blond said. "Didn't see you. Merlin Potter, are you ok?" He reached out his hand for the other to take. Harry was just about to do so, when a door opened. He mouthed a quick 'sorry' before yelling, "Watch where your going, Potter."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry growled back, before standing himself up. Dean and Seamus just walked past the two, giving them odd looks.

\--------------------------------

"This might be harder than we thought, D." Seamus said as the walked into the common room after Harry and the Slytherin's little dispute.

"I don't think so. The sparks are already there, they just have to realize it. Besides, after our plan, they'll be together within the week." Dean responded, laughing slightly.

"Yeah, I guess your right. Now get over here and kiss me," Seamus demanded, turning to face the taller boy. Dean chuckled before caressing Seamus's face and pulling him into a loving kiss. Merlin, his boyfriend was great.


	12. Comfort and Dispute

"Seriously Weasley? Quit leaving your dirty clothes all over the floor! It's disgusting, really. At least keep your mess on your side of the room."

"Shut up Zabini," the Weasel responded, with tears forming in his eyes. Blaise's expression softened slightly as he looked at the Weasel's state, although not much.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"None of your business." Silent tears began spilling from his eyes. Blaise left the room.

\-------------------------------

There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Hermione said as she got up from the couch. She opened the door, and Zabini was standing there. "It's for you, Pansy."

"No actually, I'm here for you Granger. It's Wealsey. He's in his bed crying. I figured you could help comfort him or something, seeing as your his girlfriend and all."

"Thanks for telling me. I'll go check on him." Hermione left, leaving Blaise with Pansy.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked.

"Don't know. He wouldn't tell me. Why would he, we hate each other?"

"You don't have to hate each other. Hermione and I are friends, and Draco and Potter aren't fighting, though they don't really talk to each other much. Besides, it would make the rest of the year a lot easier if you and your roommate weren't at each other's throats constantly."

"Pansy, you can't just stop hating someone all of the sudden. It's not that simple."

"Seemed pretty simple for Draco and I."

"You and I both know that Draco never hated Potter and his friends. He was jealous and constantly in need of Potter's attention. And you, you never hated them either. Maybe you guys didn't get along well, but there was never hate. You could never hate anybody."

"Oh, and you hated them, I suppose?"

"Yes, especially the Weasel. He was so annoying, by far the worst of the three."

Pansy sighed. Just then, Hermione came back in tears. Pansy and Blaise were both shocked at this. What had happened?

\---------------------------------

The door opened and closed, but Ron had hardly noticed. He couldn't get it out of his head. he missed him, he missed him loads. The jokes, the pranks, the smiles. he missed anything and everything about him. But he had left, and he wasn't coming back. Fred was gone.

Hermione sat down next to the ginger. The boy looked up, tears in his eyes, then looked at his hands. "I miss him 'Mione. I miss him so much."

Hermione wrapped her arms around him, and whispered, "I know, but it'll get better. He'd want you to be happy, Ron."

Ron gave a small, yet sad, smile. "Tell that that to Harry. You know him, the guilt is probably killing him. When will he realize that none of this is him fault?" He buried his face in Hermione's shoulder. "I'm worried about him 'Mione."

"I know. We all are. He'll be okay though, and time always helps. It's only been a few months, by this time next year he'll be back to his usual self. The Harry we all know."

"What, is this Harry not good enough for you?" Hermione and Ron looked up, startled. Harry was standing in the doorway, looking both angry and upset. Hermione immediately felt guilty for what she said. 

"No, Harry I didn't mean it like that."

"No, I think you meant it. Sorry I couldn't be the Harry you all wanted. I think I'll be on my way now." He left without another word, not even bothering to close the door.

"Ron, what are we going to do? He's going to hate us now, me especially." She choked on her words, the heavy tears already falling.

"No Hermione, he won't. He's just angry right now. Give him time to cool off." She nodded, although she didn't stop crying. She didn't even stopped when she went back to her room.

\-----------------------------

Pansy ran to her friend to comfort her, while Blaise stood there awkwardly. He was never good at comforting people, especially when they were in tears. He had no idea what to do, and he wasn't even friends with the girl.

"What happened?" Pansy asked, giving the bushy-haired girl a hug.

"H-Harry. I-I said something, a-and now he h-hates me," Hermione said in between sobs.

"Of course he doesn't hate you. You guys have been friends for years, Hermione."

"I know, b-but I really m-messed up." Pansy sighed, and looked over to Blaise for help. 

When Blaise noticed, he quickly said, "Oh, well, I better go. Dray and I are supposed to go to breakfast together. See ya!" He dashed out of the room, and ran into his own, to find a frantic Ron, pacing the room. He groaned, causing to Weasel to notice him. He looked at the dark-skinned boy with wild eyes, his cheeks still stained from tears. 

"Whatdoyouwant?" he said quickly, his words becoming one. Blaise had no idea what he'd just said. He gave the ginger a puzzled looks, tilting his head slightly.

Wealsey took a few deep breaths, resuming his pacing. Though he didn't cry, it was obvious he was just as stressed out about fight as Granger was. Honestly, he was probably worse.

"Well, I'm off to breakfast." Blaise said, exiting the room before the Weasel could start blabbing about all his problems. He found Draco in his dorm with Theo, and the three left to have breakfast in the Great Hall. 

Pansy, Hermione, Ron and Harry all skipped breakfast that morning. Ron was still pacing the room like a mad-man. Harry was curled up on his bed feeling numb. Hermione was still crying, though not as hard, and telling Pansy what had happened. Pansy, was comforting her crush. Funny how so much can change with one touch, one word, one sound, one emotion, one person. In a matter of seconds, your life can change completely.


	13. Harry's Secret Girlfriend

It had been three days. Harry had taken to spending his time with Dean, Seamus, and Neville. Of course, there was Malfoy too, but it obviously wasn't at the same time as the others. Ron and Hermione spent their time with Ginny, Luna, and Neville when he wasn't with the others. The two tried talking to Harry, but he would ignore them and walk away.

Dean and Seamus didn't mind Harry's company, but it gave them less time to work out their plan. Obviously they couldn't work on it with Harry around. Though, sometimes he would just mysteriously disappear, and they had no idea where he would go.

They were doing their homework in Dean and Seamus's room one evening, when all the sudden, Harry shouted, "Merlin's beard! I'm so late!" He then proceeded to run out of the room, not even bothering to take his homework with him. On his way out, the two heard him mutter, "They're gonna kill me."

"Ah, so that's why he keeps disappearing. He's meeting with someone...but who?" Dean asked.

"I don't know, but this certainly makes things interesting."

"Right. Wait, you know what we could do? Let's go around looking for everyone who's not here right now. There would probably be a few names, and they may not be in eighth year, but its worth a shot."

"Dean, your a genius! Alright, common room first." Dean grabbed a piece of parchment, and the two left for the common room. They wrote down everyone who was there. Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott were studying at one of the tables. Two Hufflepuff eighth years were on the couch, and a Ravenclaw was walking to their dorm room. 

The couple then went knocking on doors, taking note of everyone. Some were quite annoyed with them, but they felt that this mystery was far more important. 

At last they were done. The only eighth years missing, since it was after curfew, were Hermione, Malfoy, a Slytherin, and a Ravenclaw. They got quite excited when they saw Malfoy wasn't there, before they remembered that he was Head Boy. Hermione was Head Girl, so that explained the only two people they actually knew. 

Figuring it was probably a seventh year, like Luna or Ginny, the two got ready for bed, and fell asleep in each other's arms.

\---------------------------------

Harry ran out of the room, and straight to his. He threw open his trunk, grabbed the invisibility cloak and Marauder's Map, then left as quickly as he'd came. The whole time, Neville was staring at him like he was insane. Harry hadn't even noticed he was there.

He put the cloak on as he left the common room, whispering, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The map appeared, and he searched for a single small dot in particular. He found it, in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. It was pacing the room, waiting for a certain raven-haired boy. Harry went as fast as he could while still being quiet. After five minutes, he was at the door that went into the bathroom. 

He caught his breath a bit, then entered the abandoned bathroom. The small dot stopped pacing and looked up at the door that had just opened. "Mischief managed," Harry whispered again, clearing the map.

Malfoy smiled as Harry threw off his cloak. "You're late. Fifteen minutes late, to be precise." 

"Sorry, I was doing homework with Dean and Seamus," Harry replied, folding his cloak, and setting it on the ground with the map on top.

"S'fine." Harry smiled as he looked up at the blond. 

"Alright then. What exactly am I doing here?"

"What Potter. I need a reason to spend time with you now?" 

"Well...no, I guess not."

"Thought so. So, what do you want to do?"

"What?! You told me to come here, so you decide what we do, Malfoy."

"Draco."

"What?"

"Call me Draco. We're friends now, aren't we?"

"Ok. Draco then, but only if you call me Harry."

"Sounds good. So Harry, what do you want to do?"

Harry groaned playfully. "Fine, let's just...talk." Draco nodded, and the two sat side by side on the bathroom floor, talking for nearly an hour, about everything. Well, almost everything. Neither mentioned, the war, their families, and Harry avoided anything related to the Dursley's. Myrtle even came to join them for a little while. It was nice, being there with the two. Myrtle wasn't even that bad when she wasn't whining. Finally, around one in the morning, Harry and Draco headed back, Harry under his invisibility cloak.

\-----------------------------

After Harry had left, Neville went to Ron, who was in his room. He explained what had happened, while Ron listened, very intrigued.

"And he didn't say where he was going?"

"I don't even think he realized I was in there. He just ran in, grabbed his invisibility cloak, and ran back out."

"Probably with his secret girlfriend. Don't worry Neville, he's fine."

"Ok. Wait...secret girlfriend?"

"Oh, well I'm not completely sure, but I think so. He was always disappearing and whatnot. But Hermione forbade me to ask about it."

"Uh, ok?" Neville was extremely confused. There was a knock at the door and Ron got up to answer it. It was Dean and Seamus, with a roll of parchment in Seamus's hand.

"If your looking for Harry, he's not here. Neville saw him run off."

"We know, we aren't looking. Did Harry tell Neville who he was meeting, by chance?"

"Ask him," Ron said, opening the door further so Neville was in view. The two stepped in. Apparently, Neville hadn't even known Harry was meeting a person. Ron thought Harry had a secret girlfriend. Not the most reliable information, but Dean and Seamus wrote their names on the list, though they didn't say what for. They left, leaving Neville and Ron alone again.

"Well that was odd." Neville said.

"Extremely odd." Just then, Zabini walked in.

"Out," he grunted to Neville, who left without another word.

"Seriously, you can't just tell him to leave! This is my dorm too, and I will have who I wish over."

Zabini only grunted again, and walked to his bed. He laid down, and fell asleep the minute his head hit the pillow, not even bothering to change. Ron let out a sound of frustration, and got ready for bed, falling asleep to the sound of his roommate's snores.


	14. A Trip to the Hospital Wing

"Hermione, he's still not talking to us. It's been a week," Ron exclaimed as he flopped himself onto his bed.

"Well, we deserve it, Ronald," Hermione scolded. "We were out of line to say what we said. Harry's got every right to be angry with us."

"We! 'Mione, I didn't even say anything, Harry shouldn't even be mad at me! This is your fault, 'Mione!" Ron sat up on the bed, looking furious.

Hermione was shocked. She couldn't believe him, blaming this entire thing on her. "Don't you dare put this on me," she threatened. "You, are just as responsible for this as I am." Ron let out a frustrated scream, and he punched the headboard.

"Just get out," he whispered. Hermione scowled and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Tears of anger and frustration prickled her eyes as she walked all the way to her room. She tried not to cry, she really did, but once to door to her room closed, she couldn't help the tears from falling. She slid down the door, leaning against it and sobbing. Pansy looked up from the book she was reading on the couch, and her face filled with worry. She shut the book, and ran over to Hermione, wrapping her arms around the crying girl before her.

Hermione looked up at her friend, and turned to sob in her shoulder. Pansy whispered words of comfort, while she led Hermione to the couch. They sat down, and Pansy let Hermione cry, soaking the sleeve of her shirt, though she didn't mind. After five minutes, her crying slowed down, and she rested her head on Pansy's shoulder. Eventually the tears stop, her breathing slowed, and she fell asleep on the Slytherin's shoulder.

\-------------------------------

Harry had calmed down since the fight in Ron's room. He wasn't even mad anymore. He didn't talk to his old friends though, he figured they didn't want him around anymore. They didn't even like him anymore, Hermione had said it herself. They wanted the old Harry, and since he couldn't give them that, he assumed this was the next best thing. He had pretended, for so long, to be that old Harry. He had pretended to be okay. But on the inside, he was breaking a little more each day. 

Harry spent his nights doing homework, or lying in bed staring at the ceiling. He spent the days going from class to class, unable to pay attention from the lack of sleep. His grades were dropping, he distanced himself from his friends, he skipped every meal. 

Dean and Seamus grew worried, and tried to get him to eat. Neville tried to get him to sleep. Draco tried to help him with his work. Harry told Dean and Seamus he would grab a bite in the kitchen before the next class. He would lay in bed until he heard Neville's snores, then get up again. 

The end of September rolled around, October coming to greet them. Harry was getting worse, but he kept this from his friends. He had glamours on, to cover the dark circles under his eyes. He wore either his robes, or a hoodie, hoping to cover up his malnourished body. He hid the broken inside him.

\-----------------------------

Ron paced the room. He was so mad. At Hermione, at Harry, at life. He was mad at the world, the unfairness brewing deep in it's core. He didn't understand why life hated him so much. He didn't understand why he was so angry all the time. He didn't understand why he couldn't get over his brother's death. The world was against him, it seemed.

Ron stopped pacing and just collapsed on the floor, falling on his knees, tears streaming down his face. He'd screwed up, with everyone and everything. He always seemed to mess everything up. Ron had lost Harry, and now he'd lost Hermione too. 

The ginger stayed there on the ground, feeling too weak to get back up. When Zabini walked in, he stayed, not even bothering with him. Zabini paused when he saw the Weasel, and just stared at him. He looked fragile and small, cowered on the ground beneath the taller boy. Zabini frowned, and left the room, not wanting to bother whatever meltdown the other was having.

\------------------------------

It just after lunch, and they had a free period before their next class. Draco sat down on the stairs, waiting for Harry. The two had decided to switch it up, and were going to the Room of Requirements tonight. 

"Looking for someone, Mr. Malfoy," he heard the Bloody Baron ask behind him.

"What, no, I-" He turned around and jumped when he saw Harry, holding back a fit of laughter.

"Harry! Wha-how did you...what?" Harry started laughing now, holding his sides for support.

"Oh I can't believe that actually worked! I did the same thing to Peeves in first year," he laughed. Draco rolled his eyes, but smiled. 

"Whatever, come on let's go." Harry followed Draco, still chuckling softly. They reached the hallway, and Harry changed drastically. His eyes widened, his breaths short and shallow, his entire body trembling. He crouched down against a wall, staring at wall across them, where a door would appear with just three paces. 

The fire soon enveloped the room. Harry ran and ran, but the room got hotter and hotter. This was it, the end of them all. He didn't want any of them to die, not even the bloody Slytherins in the room. He started coughing, the smoke filling his lungs, consuming him. Piles and piles of junk on fire, spreading like a wildfire. It was hopeless, he was trapped. Hermione threw him a broomstick, and he just stared at it. Then something clicked, and he jumped on the broom. They were almost out, the three of them, before Harry looked back, seeing Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. He looked to Ron and Hermione, before turning around and going back. He couldn't here anything, his ears ringing. He could hardly breathe, they were shallow and rough. He didn't even realize they were out until he hit the ground. He coughed again, and turned to the rest, their expressions unreadable. Goyle was dead.

"Harry! Harry!" Draco crouched down to Harry's level, shaking his shoulders. He panicked, he had no idea what was happening or what to do. Harry was sweating, his body as hot as a furnace. He checked Harry's pulse, which seemed to be beating way too fast. Trembling slightly, Draco picked up the smaller boy, one are under his knees, the other supporting his head. He bolted to the hospital room as fast as he could, almost crashing into two people arguing before they moved out of the way quickly. Eventually, Draco burst into the room, a slightly better Harry in his arms, but still trembling and now seemed as cold as ice. 

\---------------------------------

Ron tried talking to Hermione all through lunch, but she ignored him and continued talking to Neville and Ginny. After lunch, Ron walked with Hermione to their common room, trying to explain himself. Halfway there, Hermione suddenly stopped. "What do you want from me? Just go away!" she yelled, frustrated and tired of Ron's constant apologies.

"Hermione, just listen to me, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have yelled, ok?"

"It doesn't matter, you still said what you said! You can't jus-" She stopped when she saw something, or rather someone, running towards them. The two had barely moved out of the way when the figure ran past them. Hermione looked towards them, about to yell at them too, when she saw it was Draco, carrying something in his arms. It looked like...oh my gosh. 

Ron and Hermione shared a look, and ran after the blond. They ran for a few more minutes, before they burst into the hospital wing, seeing Draco, Harry in his arms, looking around the room frantically. 

"Madame Pomfrey," he yelled, clutching Harry like the raven-haired boy was his lifeline. Ron and Hermione were frozen in place, looking at the shaking boy in Draco's arms. He turned, and saw the two. "What's happening to him?" Tears started blurring his vision, so he turned before they could see. Madame Pomfrey came rushing in, and her eyes immediately fell on Harry. 

She muttered under her breath as she ran to Harry, trying to pick him up, but Draco held on. "Mr. Malfoy you have to let go." He looked up at her, and she sighed at the tears in his eyes. "Very well, put him down here," she said, pointing at one of the beds. Draco walked over, and set the boy down, pulling up a chair for himself as Madame Pomfrey began a chain of spells. Ron and Hermione pulled up chairs themselves, watching Draco with confused expressions. It was going to be a long night.


	15. The Aftermath

They sat in silence while Madame Pomfrey preformed countless spells, though not many seemed to be working. Hermione knew what had happened, she'd seen it happen before, at the burrow. Harry had had a PTSD attack, and a bloody awful one too.

"Spells won't work. We have help him calm down, or we wait it out," Hermione said to Madame Pomfrey, who was still trying multiple spells. She stopped, and Hermione went and whispered something in her ear. Madame Pomfrey nodded, and left the room. 

"What happened to him?" Draco asked, his voice no higher than a whisper. He grabbed Harry's hand to calm him down, rubbing circles with his thumb. Hermione studied the strange interaction, before turning her attention back to the conversation.

"He ha-"

"Ronald! It's not our place to tell him."

"But you just told Madame Pomfrey!"

"She's a nurse, Ronald. Honestly!" Hermione put her hands to her head for a second, before turning to Draco. "How did this happen?" Draco squirmed in his seat.

"Well...uh, you see, I was on the seventh floor. I was walking in one of the corridors, when I saw Harry fall against a wall, near the Room of Requirements. I walked over and he was panting and shaking. I picked him up, and ran to the hospital," he said, tweaking the story just slightly. Hermione eyed him carefully, before nodding her head, and sitting back down in the seat next to Draco.

"Thank you," she whispered, looking him dead in the eye. "I know you two aren't exactly on the best terms." He nodded, and looked back to Harry. He had stopped trembling, but his clothes were drenched in sweat, and he was in a deep sleep. Draco let out a sigh of relief, relaxing in his chair. Hermione watched him curiously.

Ron chuckled lightly. "Can you imagine Harry's face right now if he were to wake up surrounded by the three people he'd want to see least of all." Draco snorted. "We should probably leave before he wakes up and murders us all." Hermione hesitated, before standing up. 

Draco didn't move. The two stared at him, before Ron said, "Come on mate, he'd probably want to see you least of all." Draco snorted again.

"You sure about that, what with the way the two of you have been treating him."

Ron glared at him. "You know nothing about that, so don't even think about playing that card."

"Oh, but Weasley, I know all about it," he said, narrowing his eyes and glaring at them. "I know about the fight in your room, I know about your weak attempts to try and talk to him, I know about a lot more than you realize."

"Merlin, what are you, a bloody stalker?!" Draco snorted for the third time that night. Hermione once again gave him an odd look. 

"Just get out. Harry doesn't want to talk to you guys."

"Oh, and he wants to talk to you, I suppose?" Ron stared to argue, but Hermione sighed, and pulled him out of the wing. 

Draco relaxed back into his chair, soon falling asleep, his hand still intertwined with Harry's.

\------------------------------

When Harry woke, it was still dark. His clothes stuck to his skin, and his hair was wet with sweat. His hand was being held, so he looked over to see who it was. Draco? His heart sped up without meaning to. From the attack, he assumed.

He shifted in the bed, causing Draco to wake. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Harry whispered. Draco muttered something inaudible, and fell back asleep, his head resting on the side of the bed. Harry sighed, and reached for his wand. He cast a tempus charm; it was three in the morning. He let himself fall back asleep, not knowing he'd regret it later.

\-----------------------------

Draco woke with a start, almost falling out of his chair. He looked around, and his eyes landed on Harry, screaming and thrashing around in the bed. The blond's eyes widen, and he tried to wake the smaller boy up. Harry gave a blood-curdling scream that made the hairs on the back of Draco's neck stand. Finally, after a few more screams, and a couple kicks to the face, Harry arose, his eyes filled with fear. He hugged his pillow, rocking back and forth on the bed. Silent tears leaked from his eyes, and he mumbled words under his breath.

"Harry?" The raven-haired boy looked up, and when his eyes met Draco's, they widened.

"Dr-Draco? W-what are y-you doing h-here?" he panted, clutching the pillow, his knuckles turning white. Draco opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. The explanation was much to long, and Harry needed to calm down.

"I'll tell you later." Madame Pomfey walked in, eyes falling on the boy, who face was drained of color, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.

"What happened?"

"Don't worry about it," Harry panted. "I'm fine." Draco looked at him like he was crazy. 

"Fine, Harry? You don't look fine to me," Draco stated. 

Harry rolled his eyes and turned to Madame Pomfrey. "Can I go now?"

Madame Pomfey snorted. "Maybe tonight, if I deem it fit."

"What, why? I'm fine!" Harry yelled, getting out of bed. 

"Mr. Potter, sit back down right now." Harry grunted, grabbed his wand, and started walking towards the door. "Mr. Potter, stop right there. I will get Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley if necessary." Harry stopped in his tracks. He took a few deep breaths, before turning back around, wand pointed out.

"What did they tell you?" Madame Pomfrey backed away, hands up. "They had no right, no right to do that!" he screamed, shooting a spell at a flower vase, causing it to fall and shatter on the ground. 

"Harry, put the wand down," Draco stated, keeping his voice steady, though he was a bit frightened on the inside. Harry looked down at his hand, and he dropped the wand. His hands trembled, and he backed away. "S-sorry," he said, before running out of the room.

Draco looked at Madame Pomfrey, before looking at the glass covering the floor. He pulled out his wand, cleaning it up, before running after Harry.


	16. Ron's Hallucinations

*TW-Self harm*

Harry ran and ran, until he got to Myrtle's bathroom. He collapsed on the floor, shaking and crying. He couldn't believe he'd done that. He was a freak. He let his anger block out everything else. 

Harry was disgusted with himself. He hated that he was depressed. He hated that he had PTSD. He hated that just looking at food made him want to hurl. He hated his so called friends, that told his biggest secret. He hated all the guilt, and the grief. He hated all this self-pity, because it was sick. He'd had enough. He just wanted the pain to go away.

Harry pulled out his wand, using it to summon a small, sharp knife. He put the tip of his blade to his wrist, and took a deep breath. This was it, there was no going back after. He pushed down as he dragged the knife up his wrist. His arm stung, but he relished the pain. He brought the dagger up again, feeling the cool metal against his skin. He made a few more cuts, then, satisfied for the time being, used his wand to heal the cuts, leaving thin scars along his left wrist. The raven-haired boy took a deep breath, made sure his wrist was covered, and walked out of the bathroom.

*TW-Self harm*

\------------------------------

Hermione walked to the Great Hall, accompanied by Ginny and Luna, who were deep in conversation. Hermione payed them no attention, as she was thinking of the previous night's events. It was all so strange. Draco finding him, the panic in his voice when he ran into the hospital. She had thought there were tears in her eyes, but was unsure. Then the hand-holding, the worry, the fact that he knew about the fight. And he stayed, when even she didn't.

Hermione thought and thought, searching for some conclusion to the strange night. She came to multiple ends, none making much sense. First, she had thought they had been dueling, and something had happened triggering the attack. But she dismissed the thought. They had hardly spoken to each other all year, let alone break out in a fight.

Her next idea, was that they were dating, but that made no sense. Harry was straight, and even if he wasn't, he wouldn't date Malfoy. She laughed at herself for even considering it.

Hermione's next guess, was that they were friends, but that didn't make sense either. As she had pointed out before, they hardly spoke.

Hermione, for the first time in a while, didn't have an answer. She was stumped, befuddled, baffled. She hadn't even realized that they were at the Gryffindor table until Ginny was pulling her down to sit, waving goodbye to Luna.

Ron, on the other hand, didn't even give a second thought about Malfoy, he was worried sick for Harry. He decided to skip breakfast and go visit him in the hospital wing, and at least try to talk to him.

When he got there, however, Harry was gone. "Where is he?" Ron said, pointing a the bed he had been in.

Madame Pomfrey looked at him. "He left about an hour ago."

"Oh," was all Ron said before turning around, and walking to the Great Hall, hoping Harry would be there. On the way, he saw Malfoy, and called out. Malfoy turned around as Ron jogged toward him.

"Have you seen Harry?" they said at the same time, which spooked Ron a bit.

"Why are you looking for him?" Draco asked, glaring at the ginger.

"I could ask you the same thing, Malfoy."

"Well I've been looking for since he ran out of the bloody hospital."

"Wait, he ran out?"

"Of course not," he lied easily. "It was an exaggeration." Draco rolled his eyes, and looked back at the boy. Just behind the Weasel, he saw Harry walking up to them. "Harry! I've been looking all over for you," Draco said, maneuvering around the ginger and pulling Harry into a hug.

"Draco," Harry whispered, ignoring the weird feeling in his chest, "Ron's right behind us." Draco quickly let go, clearing his throat a bit. "I'm fine," he said, then looked at Ron, scowling. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, first off, I was looking for you to make sure you were okay. Second, did you and Malfoy just hug? And third," he turned to face Malfoy, "you called him Harry." 

"First of all, why are you looking for me? You guys don't get to talk after you betrayed me like that. And Ron, are you off you rocker! Malfoy and I didn't hug, and he definitely didn't call me Harry," the boy lied. Ron looked confused. Was he really imagining things now?

"Oh. Wait, what do you mean betrayed you? Are you still on about our fight? Harry, that was a week ago, can you just let it go?" Harry and Draco both glared at Ron.

"No Ron, I'm not talking about the fight. I got over that days ago. I'm talking about what you and Hermione told Madame Pomfrey. What happened to 'Don't worry Harry, we won't tell anyone.' because last time I checked, Madame Pomfrey was included in 'anyone.'"

"How do you even know it was us who told her?"

"You guys were the only people I told. I didn't even tell you, actually. Hermione did," Harry said. Ron was at a loss for words. "Bye Ron, we'll be going now."

\----------------------------------

Ron walked up to Hermione. "Hermione," he said, causing her look look up at him from her breakfast.

"What, Ronald?" She glared at him.

"We really screwed up last night. You should have seen Harry a couple minutes ago, I thought he was going to kill me. Oh, and, is it possible I could be imagining things?"

"What do you mean we screwed up? How? And why do you think your imagining things?"

"Well Harry's mad at us because we told Madame Pomfrey about...you know. And I apparently imagined Malfoy calling Harry Harry, and them hugging. Oh, and something about Harry running out of the hospital wing."

"Ron, I think you've gone insane. Malfoy and Harry hugging, seriously?!" Neville said. Dean and Seamus shared a look. 

"So I did imagine it then?"

"Well obviously, Ronald. Now go away, I'm still mad at you." Ron rolled his eyes and walked out of the Great Hall, Dean and Seamus following quickly behind.


	17. Officially Over

*TW- Self harm*

It had been three days. Three days since that morning. He hadn't done it since. He hated himself for it. For giving in, for letting himself enjoy it. And yet, here he was, after three days, back in Myrtle's bathroom. 

Harry couldn't handle it. Ron would talk to him, and they'd end up fighting. Hermione wasn't even trying anymore. This was it; the Golden Trio was coming to an end. He could tell Ron and Hermione had been fighting too, and he knew it was because of him. Harry ruined everything. He destroyed everything he touched.

He had the blade in his hand, all he had to do was press it to his skin, and drag it up, letting the blood trickle down his hand. But he knew if he did, the self-hatred would only grow. It would spread through his body, a fire he couldn't control once it got out of hand. He'd burn, until he was nothing but a pile of ashes. A pile of ashes for people to mourn and cry over, causing pain and sorrow. Harry had caused so much pain already, he'd ruined countless lives. 

Harry sat on the ground of the bathroom, the knife held in his right hand, while he thought. He sat there for five minutes, before he brought the blade up. Because if the wildfire did spread, who was there even left to pick up the ashes?

*TW-Self harm*

\----------------------------------

Ginny and Luna had been spending an immense more amount of time together than the years before. There was just something about Luna, something special. Ginny would spent nights thinking about Luna right before she went to bed, only to wake up and have the blonde be the first thing she thought of. 

Ginny truly did love Harry, she really did. But she knew it couldn't be romantic. Harry didn't make her feel the way Luna did. It had taken Ginny a few months to realize that what she felt for Luna was more than just a friendship. She didn't know if she was lesbian, or bisexual, maybe even pansexual. All she knew, was that it was Luna, and not Harry, that she loved.

So, this was what led Ginny to standing outside Harry's dorm room for fifteen minutes, before the Gryffindor mustered up enough courage to actually knock on the door, and even then it was small and weak. It wasn't that she was scared to break up with him, it was hurting him. Harry, who had become so fragile and broken.

Neville answered the door. "Is Harry here?" Neville looked back, before opening the door wider to let Ginny in. There was Harry, on his bed, staring off into nothing, his eyes glossy, though the water never left his eyes. "Harry?" Ginny whispered, her heart breaking a little. How could she do this to him, right now, when he's so vulnerable? But she had to, she couldn't keep lying to him, or herself. 

Harry turned his head and made eye contact with the younger girl, forcing a small smile. "Neville, do you think I could talk to Harry alone for a bit?" Neville nodded, and grabbed his Herbology homework to do in the common room. Ginny sat down on the bed so she was facing Harry. 

"Harry, I love you. I always will, but I think-" 

"Ginny stop. I can't get back together with you." He took a deep breath, before continuing. "I think we should break up, like, officially this time. I'm no good for you, you'll end up dead. And besides, your like a sister to me." Ginny gave a small laugh, partially because she was so relieved.

"Harry, you didn't let me finish. Your like a brother to me, I love you like a brother. And besides, I kinda like someone else." Harry perked up.

"Really, who?" 

"Oh, um...Luna." Harry was quiet, too quiet. Maybe she shouldn't have told him. Maybe he wouldn't accept her. Oh gosh, she ruined everything. "Harry?"

When Harry remembered how to speak again, he asked, "How did you...know?"

"How did I know what?"

"How did you know that you liked Luna? How did you know that you liked girls?"

"I'm not sure really, why?"

"Nothing, just curious is all."

"Alright." Ginny got up to leave. When she was at the door, she turned around. "Love you, Harry."

Harry smiled. "Love you too, Gin."

\--------------------------------------

Ginny was with Hermione in the Library. She had planned on telling Hermione about the breakup and coming out to her, but now she was having second thoughts. After a few minutes, she just kind of blurted it out. "Harry and I broke up." She said, a little to fast.

Though, Hermione seemed to understand it, because she put the book down, and said, "What, why?"

"Because I'm, well I don't know what I am actually, but I like Luna. So Harry and I had a mutual agreement to break up."

"Wait, you like Luna? Since when?"

"I don't know, I guess one day I just...knew."

"How...how did you know, exactly?" 

"Funny, Harry asked me the same thing. Anyway, I don't know how I knew."

"Wait, Harry asked you? Why?" Hermione knew why she had, but why had Harry?

"He was curious," Ginny shrugged. "How am I gonna tell Ron, Hermione?"

Hermione, who had other matters on her mind, didn't hear what Ginny had said. She was thinking, and thinking hard. Suddenly, it came to her. "I have to go," she said, before sprinting out of the library.


	18. A Revealed Friendship

Harry looked up from his homework when there was a knock at the door. Draco was supposed to be coming, but he never knocked. He mostly just barged in, since Neville was always gone when he came, and Harry left the door unlocked. 

Harry got up and opened the door. "Hey, why'd you knock, you-Hermione! What are you doing here?"

"Who was supposed to be here?" Hermione smirked. 

Harry, who had gotten used to lying in situations like this, easily responded with, "Well Neville, obviously. You do know we're roommates, right? Now, what are you doing here? I don't really want to talk to you."

"But I want to talk to you. Ginny told me about the breakup, and I was just wondering how you were doing. It must be weird, her liking someone else while she was dating you. Unless, of course, you liked someone else too." Hermione smirked again, waiting for Harry's eyes to widen, or some sort of sign. But there was nothing...he just looked puzzled.

"Hermione, don't be ridiculous. First off, I was completely fine with Ginny liking Luna. She's like a sister to me, and I hardly ever saw her, of course she was going to find someone else. Second, Ginny and I were technically on a 'break' so we weren't actually dating. Third, I didn't and don't like anyone. Why would you even think that? And fourth, why are you being so...weird?"

Hermione was about to respond, when the door opened. "Sorry I'm late Harry. Pansy needed help with-" Draco stopped talking when he saw Hermione. 

"This should be good," Hermione said as she took a seat on the couch. Draco glared at her, and crossed his arms.

"What are you talking about Granger? Potter here stole my quill, I'm just here to get it back." 

"Your guys mind games might work on Ron, but I'm not stupid like he is. I actually have a brain, unlike that teaspoon." Harry flinched, knowing he was the reason that Hermione was speaking this way about Ron. He absent-mindedly touched his left wrist, causing him to hiss in pain. Both Draco and Hermione turned to look at him.

"Sorry, I stubbed my toe on the desk," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with the both of them. 

Draco looked back to Hermione. "Alright, fine. Harry and I are friends. Now what were you doing here in the first place, because, as I recall, you two weren't."

Hermione sighed. " Harry, I really am sorry about what I said a few weeks ago. And I'm sorry I told Madame Pomfrey about your P-"

"HERMIONE! You almost just did it, again! Can you keep your mouth shut for once in your life?"

"I'm sorry, I thought you would have told him."

"Told me what? Harry, what's she talking about?"

"Nothing Draco, leave it," Harry said, not breaking eye contact with Hermione.

"Harry, you should tell him."

"Why? So he can leave me like you and Ron did? So he can finally see me for the freak I am? So he can try to get the 'old Harry' bad because this one just isn't good enough? Why do you hate me so much, Hermione? Because if the roles were switched, I would have never said those those things about you, even if I didn't think you were there. I wouldn't have have spilled one of your deepest secrets, just because you were helpless in a hospital bed. I would have helped, I would have cared, I would have been there for you, instead of running away when you needed me most." Harry had tears of anger flooding down his face.

Hermione was crying, and even Draco teared up a bit, though he would never admit it. "I'm sorry, Harry. I was just..." She took a deep breath, trying to slow the tears. "No, there's no excuse for what I did. Just know that I only want what's best for you, and that if I could take it all back, I would."

Harry nodded. "It's fine Hermione. Just please stop crying, I didn't mean to make you cry. Please stop, I'm sorry," Harry whispered, pulling her into a hug. 

Hermione sniffed, her tears finally ceasing. "Why are you apologizing? You've done nothing wrong."

"Don't lie Hermione. I know you and Ron have been fighting, and I know it's my fault. You guys are fighting because of me." Hermione hugged him tighted.

"No Harry, it's not your fault. Not everything is, you know." Harry nodded, but didn't actually believe what she'd said. Draco stood there awkwardly, shuffling his feet a bit. He knew that Harry and Hermione making up meant they wouldn't be spending as much time together, but he tried not to let that bother him. He was glad the two were friends again, Harry was bound to be happier now...right?


	19. Scars

For three days now Harry and Hermione had been reunited as friends. Ron couldn't help but feel extremely jealous, not that he realized that jealousy was all it was. In his eyes, the two were always together. Ron and Hermione may be fighting, but he was still her boyfriend, miraculously. And Ron wasn't blind, he saw the way Harry looked at Hermione. 

So, after lunch on that third day, Ron found Harry walking in the hallway, all alone. Naturally, he confronted the shorter boy. "Stay away from Hermione, she's my girlfriend," he growled.

"Yeah, I know. But if you two keep fighting any longer, she probably won't be."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you. For me and Hermione to break up, so you can have her." Harry nearly burst out laughing, but restrained himself due to the look on Ron's face.

"If you are implying that I...like Hermione, then let me tell you that you couldn't be more wrong."

"Of course that's what I'm implying! I'm not blind, Harry." The raven-haired boy snorted at that, for he had seemed pretty blind last week in the corridor with Draco. "I see the way you look at her..." The last part was barely even a whisper.

"Are you bloody stupid? She, as well as Ginny, is like a sister to me. And besides, I don't...I might...look, just forget it, ok? I know you're afraid Hermione and I will end up together, I remember that night in the Forest of Dean. But, really, there's nothing going on between us, and there never will be. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet Dr-er, Hagrid. Yes, I have to go meet Hagrid, and I'm late thanks to you." And with that, Harry left, but not to meet Hagrid.

He made his way to the second floor girl's bathroom, finding Draco in deep conversation with Myrtle. He looked at the corner of the bathroom where he had shed his blood, and then the spot where Draco had his. Really, it was anyone's guess why they met here, where Harry had almost killed the blond. It couldn't have brought back many good memories for the both of them. Regardless, this is where they had taken to meet most of the time.

"Harry? Are you ok?" Myrtle asked in her high, somewhat squeaky voice. Draco looked over at him, just now noticing the other boy. He followed Harry's gaze, and paled when he saw what he'd been staring at.

Harry looked up. He took in Myrtle's worried face, and Draco's paler than usual one. "D-did they scar?" Draco nodded, not meeting his eyes. "Let me see them."

Draco looked at him now, his mouth open, but no words came out. There was a faint pink on his cheeks, though Harry didn't even notice. Finally, he said, "Wh-what?"

"Let me see them," Harry repeated. He looked serious. Draco sighed, and started unbuttoning his shirt. When he finished Harry took a step closer. He looked at what he'd done, and horror was written all over his face. "I did that to you?" Draco nodded again, words failing him once again. Harry looked away, refusing to look at the pain he'd caused any longer.

"You were crying. You were crying, so I hexed you. What in the name of Merlin is wrong with me?" Harry sat down, his eyes filling with the salty tears. Draco sat down next to him. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, and pulled him closer. Harry didn't even give a second thought as he laid his head on the other's shoulder, his tears falling silently. 

\--------------------------------

She didn't know what to do. It had just...happened. And she'd liked it, she'd liked every second of it. Ron never made her feel like that. But she was consumed with guilt. Hermione had cheated on her boyfriend.

She had planned on telling Ron, but as she made her way to his room, she decided against it. Three knocks, and the door opened.

"Hello Zabini. Is Ron there?"

"Um...hi, Granger. And no, but I believe he was with Longbottom out in the courtyard last I checked."

"Right, I'll check there then."

"Hey Granger, if you don't mind me asking, is there a reason you need to find him."

"Well, yes actually. I was just planning on breaking up with him. Do me a favor, would you?" Blaise nodded. "When Ronald comes back, go easy on him tonight." 

"Will do. See you, Granger."

"Bye Blaise." She smirked, and walked away. Blaise stood there, stunned. He hadn't been hearing things, had he? He knew she was friends with Pansy, and there was the so-called "truce" with Draco. But him? He shrugged, and walked back into his room.

Hermione found Ron with Neville in the courtyard, as Blaise had said. He was sitting against a tree, eyes closed, while Neville stood, going on about his new plant that Gran had sent him. "Hello Neville. Ron, may I speak with you?" 

"Fine," the ginger said, not even bothering to open his eyes. Hermione turned to Neville, and he left.

"I'm breaking up with you." Ron's eyes shot open, and he sat up straight. 

"What, why?!"

Hermione contemplated this. Does she lie, or tell him the truth? Lying would most likely come back to bite her later, so she decided with the latter. "I kissed someone."

"It was Harry, wasn't it. That foul git, he lied to me!"

"What, no! I didn't kiss Harry, Ronald."

"Then who did you kiss? Who was it that you enjoyed snogging so much, that you decided to break up with me?"

Hermione took a deep breath. This was it, no going back now. Once she said it out loud, it would be real.

"Pansy."


	20. Together At Last

"Pansy."

Ron looked confused at first. He didn't know any guys named Pansy. Then something clicked. "Pansy Parkinson, your roommate?"

"Yes."

"The Slytherin?"

"Yes, Ron."

"Zabini's friend?"

"Yes!"

"Ok." He closed his eyes again, leaning back against the tree.

"You aren't mad?"

He opened his eyes once more, looking her dead in the eye. "Does she make you happy?"

Hermione smiled. "Yeah."

"Then no." Hermione seemed surprised at this. She thought Ron would be seething with anger by now. "Well don't look so surprised, 'Mione!"

"Sorry, I just didn't think you'd take it this well."

"Well, I did. Now run along, I have things to do. And tell Harry I'm sorry about earlier today, would you?"

"Ok. Goodbye, Ron." She started to walk away but turned around after a few steps. "Hey Ron,"

"Hm," he said.

"We're still friends, right?"

"Best friends." She smiled, and walked away. Ron watched her leave, his gaze lingering after she'd gone back inside the castle. Shame, really. She really was a beautiful girl. But he was no good for her, that much he knew. He let a single tear slip, before he said goodbye to the pain that was stabbing his heart. Hermione deserved better.

\--------------------------------

Pansy knocked on Blaise's door repeatedly until it finally opened. "Blaise, I need your help!" She pushed the door open further, and walked in.

"Sure, come on in," he said, rolling his eyes.

"The weasel isn't here, is he?"

"No, why?"

"Haven't you been listening! I need your help with something!"

"Well, get on with it then."

"Ok, so I kinda kissed Hermione, and she probably hates me now. I'm like, ninety percent sure she's straight, and she has a boyfriend. I probably ruined their relationship, and I just...what do I do?" She rushed everything she said, so it was almost impossible to understand her.

"Hold up. You kissed Granger? When did you start liking her?"

"Oh, um...just since sixth year."

"Sixth year. You've liked her since sixth year, and you didn't tell me?"

"Maybe. Anyway, you're supposed to be helping me."

Blaise shrugged. "What do you need help with?" Pansy looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Were you not listening to anything I said?"

"I was. But, you see, Granger won't hate you. For one, she stopped by earlier looking for Weasley. And before you say anything, it was to break up with him. And second, she happens to be right behind you, grinning like an idiot." Pansy turned around, and sure enough, Hermione was there, with an adorable smile plastered on her face.

"Pansy, hi. Just the person I was looking for."

"Me. You were looking for...me?"

"Well, you see, Ron and I only just broke up, so I may be moving along much too fast. But I don't believe that for a second, because when two people should be together, why wait?"

"What are you saying?"

"Pansy, you know exactly what I'm saying."

"Yes, but I want to hear the words. I want to hear you say them."

"Fine," she said, rolling her eyes, but smiling nonetheless. "Pansy Parkinson, will you be my girlfriend?"

Pansy enveloped her in a hug. In her ear, she whispered, "Of course. I'd never want anyone else."

\----------------------------------

Draco flopped on his bed. He'd done it, he'd ruined everything. Harry would never look at him the same, all he would see were the scars. Draco groaned. Theo looked up.

"You alright, mate?"

"Fine," Draco replied. Theo gave him a look. "It's nothing, really." Theo sighed, and went back to his Ancient Ruins homework. Draco looked down at the homework. Crap, he was supposed to go help Harry with his Potions essay! Would he still want help? Draco went anyway, just in case.

When Harry first saw Draco walk into the library, his eyes immediately went to Draco's chest, where the scars were. Draco noticed, so he just blurted out, "Will you stop staring at the scars?" It sounded a bit angry, but needed to be said regardless. In a nicer voice, he said, "I've already forgiven you, and it's time you do the same."

"I can't, I can't forgive myself for any of this. The world would be better off if I just died." 

"Don't you ever say that. Do you hear me? Not ever. People gave their lives to help you, and you want to repay them by throwing your own away?" This only seemed to make Harry even more upset. Draco sighed. "Harry, look at me." The boy looked up at him. "If you died, the world would be utter chaos. People you've never even met care about you. If the muggles knew who you were, they'd be lining up the streets to meet you. If you died, the world would stop for a second. It would forget how to function, how to breath, how to move. If you died, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. You'd break me, Harry. Do you want to break me?" By now, both boys had tears in their eyes, though Draco tried to hide his. Crying made him soft, soft made him vulnerable. Draco was not vulnerable, nor would he ever be.

"The world doesn't care about me. They care about Harry Potter, savior of the Wizarding World. Give it a week and they'd move on."

"But Harry, you are the savior of the Wizarding World. And maybe the world would move on after a week, but I wouldn't. Neither would the Weasley's, or Granger, or any of your other friends."

"You'd all carry on. It would take longer, but you'd go about your lives. That's how grieving works. You mourn the dead, then you forget about the pain over time. It hurts every once and a while, when you wonder what it would have been like, to have them by your side right them. To wonder what it would have been like, to have a mother and father, who loved you. But then you realize their dead, and they aren't coming back. So you forget, and you move on. Or you don't, and your always left...wondering."

"Harry, your parents wouldn't want you dead either. Hurting yourself only hurts the people who love you." Harry's hand went to his wrist, and Draco watched the strange interaction, before his eyes widened.

*TW-Mentions of self harm, but no actual harming...does that make sense?*

"Harry, give me your wrist." Harry looked up at him, quickly taking his hand off his wrist, and hiding his left arm behind his back.

"What, why?" He continued babbling on, but Draco wasn't listening. He grabbed Harry's arm, and pushed the sleeve up. Harry hissed in pain, trying to pull his arm back, or at least cover the scars up. But it was useless, Draco had seen them.

"When did you...why did you..." The blond looked up, hurt and worry planted on his face.

"The morning I ran out of the hospital was the first time. And I've done it twice since then." Harry looked down at his feet, embarrassed and guilty.

"But...why?"

"I don't know, to be honest. After I do it I only hate myself more for giving in, for letting myself succumb to the self-pity and hate."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I couldn't take it anymore. I'm destructive, destroying everything I touch. I've ruined lives, and taken all the credit in the end. It wasn't just me, who saved everyone. It was all of us, and yet I get praised. Anyone else would love the attention, the fame, the gifts. But I just want to be happy. I just want to be forgotten. Is that to much to ask, Draco?" 

*Ok, it's over now*

Draco thought it was, but he didn't say so. Here Harry was, finally sharing everything that was going on in his head. He was broken, only letting himself crack further.


	21. Vanilla With a Hint of Pine

Blaise paced the room, waiting for Weasley. It had been about a half hour since Hermione and Pansy had left, and Ron still wasn't back yet. It was then that the door opened. Blaise turned around, and there was...Theo?

"Theo, what are you doing here?"

"Dude, chill. Can I borrow your Wizard Chess set? Draco and I were gonna go for a quick game or two."

"Yeah, sure. Over there," he said, waving his hand lazily towards the set.

"Thanks." Theo walked over to the set. "You know, he'll be fine."

"What? Who?"

"Well Weasley, of course."

"And why exactly would I care if he's fine or not?" Theo rolled his eyes.

"Seriously Blaise, it's so obvious. You fancy that bastard." Blaise could feel his cheeks burning up, from embarrassment of course.

"I do not, Theo. How could you even suggest such a thing?" And that's when Ron walked in. Blaise felt the speed of his heart pick up, and his chest felt funny. His eyes widened, and he turned to Theo. But, the boy only laughed at the new knowledge he had kindly provided for his friend. 

"Well, I'll see you later Blaise. Thanks for the chess set." Blaise rolled his eyes, and turned to Ron. He looked, well, he looked fine. 

"You play Wizard Chess?" The ginger asked.

"Yes, do you?" Ron snorted.

"Haven't lost a game since I was seven, and that was because my brother's liked to cheat all the time. Fred would always..." His voice lost the ability to speak, as he remembered the brother that he tried to forget. Not to be rude, just because it hurt too much. Ron cleared his throat. "Up for a game?"

Blaise smirked. "Your on."

\------------------------------

Harry had been somewhat avoiding Draco all day, which was extremely difficult, seeing as all the eighth years had most classes together. Draco noticed, but didn't push it. He figured Harry needed some space for a day or two.

Avoiding the blond became evidently impossible, because Professor Slughorn partnered the two together for Potions. Harry walked over to the table where Draco was seated. "Malfoy," he said with as much malice in his voice he could muster. 

"Potter," Draco replied. Harry sighed and sat down.

"Poor Harry," Ron whispered to Hermione, who was his partner. It had been a bit awkward at first, but things slowly shifted back to the way they had been before. Hermione laughed and shook her head. "What's so funny?" 

"Nothing Ron."

"Alright class, today, we will be brewing amortentia. Since you all already know what this is and what it does, we are just going to get right into it. You may begin now."

Harry and Draco continued bickering, putting on a good show for the rest of the class. It was exhausting, and neither of them enjoyed it. This secret friendship was getting to be quite annoying, but they couldn't tell anyone. People would bombard the two with questions, and The Daily Prophet would sure have a grand time. Harry could already see the headline: Savior of the Wizarding World Befriends Ex-Death Eater.

Harry had almost messed up the potion three times now, Draco just barely stopping him. He never got mad though, even when Harry did mess it up. Draco just sighed, and went to get the ingredients to fix it. 

When the entire class had finished their potions, they were allowed to take off the lids to smell it. Harry eagerly took the lid off, wanting to see if everything was the same as before. He took a whiff of the love potion, smelling the familiar broomstick handle, treacle tart, and...there was something new. Something he couldn't put his finger on at the moment. 

"What do you smell?" Harry asked the blond, out of pure curiosity. Draco shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh, um...you know, things," Draco murmured.

"Care to be more specific?" Harry laughed, before remembering that they "weren't friends." The class gave them odd looks, and Harry blushed from the sudden amount of attention. He grumbled, turning back to the potion. The lid was already back on, because love potions were dangerous. They ruined lives, with the false love, creating unhappiness for both sides, though not apparent at once. 

"No, I don't actually. I didn't ask what you smell, did I? No, because it's personal." Draco snapped, wanting Harry to just drop it.

"I'll tell you what I smell then. Broomstick handle, treacle tart, and another one, but I can't remember what the smell is."

"Harry, how could you not know? They're the smells you like so much. Surely you'd know what they were."

"Well I don't, so just leave it be, will you? Anyway, I told you mine, so go on."

"Fine. I smell books, rain, apple, and something else I'm not sharing."

"What? You smell books? That's a scent?"

"Of course it is. Have you even smelled the pages of a book before. It's calming, and it's just so...you wouldn't understand. I don't think I've ever seen you with a book when it wasn't necessary." Harry rolled his eyes, and started cleaning up the potion, leaving a small vile full of it to be graded.

It was then that Harry realized what that last scent had been, as he passed the blond to put away the ingredients. Harry had smelled Draco, which was a bit like vanilla with a hint of pine. Strange combination, but rather lovely nonetheless. The only question was, why was that one of the things in his amortentia?


	22. Halloween (Part 1)

Halloween was just around the corner, and everyone was getting excited. Well, almost everyone. There was one boy in particular who dreaded the day. As a child, he'd always loved Halloween, but that was before the weight of the day fully crushed him. For it was on this day, that his parents had been murdered, leaving Harry James Potter an orphan forevermore.

\--------------------------------

Tomorrow was Halloween, and the Great Hall was already being set up for the occasion. Harry glared at the decorations as he walked in, blaming them for his sour mood. Ron and Hermione noticed his snappy behavior today, and found it best to give him some space for the next few days.

Harry turned around, and walked out of the hall, going to the library before Transfiguration. Meanwhile, Hermione was walking over to Pansy. They had decided to come out to the entire school this morning, but Pansy wouldn't let them make a plan. "It'll be more fun if we wing it," she said. Hermione had just rolled her eyes and grabbed the girl's hand. Now here they were, with no idea of what to do next, and Hermione was mentally smirking. That was, until Pansy stood up on the table, dragging the Gryffindor up with her.

Pansy cleared her throat so everyone would be quiet. A few Slytherins turned to look, but that was it. "EVERYONE LISTEN UP!" Pansy yelled. The room fell silent, and all eyes fell on the two, who were holding hands, standing on a table. Even the teachers were quite interested with the matter. 

"Hermione and I are dating," she stated simply, holding up their hands that were laced together. Ron started cheering, but quickly stopped and turned beet red as he was the only one. The room was deadly silent, filled with shocked looks, and one smirk from Blaise. 

Ginny stood up from the Gryffindor table. "So are Luna and I." 

"WHAT!" screamed an overprotective redheaded older brother. "How dare you tell the whole bloody school before me," he added, a bit quieter. Ginny laughed, and looked over at Luna, who was smiling her beautiful, dreamy smile.

Professor Sprout started clapping, and so did Ron, Blaise, Draco, Neville, Dean, Seamus, and a few other teachers. Little by little, the students joined in, until nearly the entire hall was applauding and cheering. Some gave them glares, but that was to be expected. The four girls blushed, and Ginny hopped down, and walked over to the Ravenclaw table to sit with Luna. Pansy and Hermione got down too, and sat next to Draco and Blaise.

Pansy turned to her friends. "You guys better be nice, and not just to Hermione. Weasley and Potter too." Draco and Hermione held in knowing laughs, and Blaise's cheeks heated a bit, though not enough to be noticeable. 

"Why should I be nice to that redheaded git?" Blaise responded, malice lacing his words. Theo turned from the other Slytherin he had been talking too, and gave the boy an amused look.

"Didn't you guys play chess just the other day?" he said, a smirk playing on his lips. Blaise cursed the other under his breath, and Hermione, Pansy, and Draco all turned to look at him in shock, then at Ron a few tables away.

"How do you even know about that?" Blaise grumbled, and Theo shrugged.

"I have my ways. Who won, by the way?" 

Blaise glared at his so-called friend, as he said, "The weasel." Draco and Theo laughed, and Blaise went back to his breakfast.

\------------------------------------

*TW-Mild mention of self harm, I'll tell you when your good*

The next day, Draco didn't see Harry at breakfast at all, or in Charms. After class he walked over to Hermione. "Where's Harry?" he asked quiet enough so that no one else could hear. She turned to him, and sighed.

"He hasn't left his room. I went to check on him after breakfast, and he wasn't doing too well."

"What's wrong with him?" Hermione gave him a confused look.

"Today is October 31...the day his parents..."

Draco eyes widened, the fear evident in them. "Shoot, I need to find him right now." He got up quickly,, but Hermione grabbed his wrist before he could run off. 

"Why?" Draco tried to break free, but she had a surprisingly strong grip. Draco needed to find Harry right now, before he did anything rash. 

"I just need to. Let me go Granger."

"Not until you tell me why you suddenly need to find Harry right away."

"Is he alone?"

"Yes, we're giving him space Draco, and I advise you do the same."

"Merlin Granger, I thought you were smart! You left him alone, on today of all days!"

"Well of course I did, because I know what he needs, and this is it Malfoy."

"No, this is what he wants, not what he needs. One day you'll realize the immense difference between the two. Now let me go!"

"Give it a rest, Malfoy! You guys have been friends for two months, I think I know what he needs more than you!"

"You don't, you really don't. If you knew what he needed, he wouldn't be alone right now."

"And why is that?"

"Merlin, were you always this stubborn? I can't tell you Granger. Figure it out for yourself."

"Figure what out?" Draco growled at her, and ripped his arm from her grip. He ran out of the empty classroom, and to the eighth year dorms. Luckily, they were on the same floor, so he didn't have to go far. When he reached Harry's door, he threw it opens, and his eyes searched for the other boy. When he didn't find him, he panicked a bit. He quickly made his way to the bathroom in the dorm room, and found the door locked.

He knocked on the door repeatedly. "Harry James Potter, you open that door this instant." The door opened, revealing a sleep-deprived Harry who was halfway through brushing his teeth. Draco ignored this. "Pull up your sleeve," he demanded. Harry pulled it up cautiously, not wanting to touch the tender skin. Draco studied the wrist, noticing nothing new, and he gave a satisfied nod. "Promise me you won't ever do that -he pointed to Harry's wrist- ever again." 

*Ok, your good now*

Harry nodded, because he couldn't really talk, seeing as his mouth was full of toothpaste and spit. He shoved to blond out of the bathroom, and finished brushing his teeth, before walking back out. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Making sure you didn't do anything stupid. Besides, figured you could use the company." Harry rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same.

"You have classes."

"Well, so do you." Harry sighed.

"Fine," he said. Draco looked at the Gryffindor. 

"You alright?" 

Harry shrugged, saying, "Is anyone?"

"Fair point. But really, are you?"

"Yes, I'm doing just great, Draco. My parents are dead, so how could I not be?" Draco sighed, and pulled Harry into a hug. Harry relaxed, not realizing how tense he'd been. This was how Hermione found the two when she walked into the room, not knocking because the door was still wide open.


	23. Halloween (Part 2)

*TW- very brief mention of abuse*

Hermione cleared her throat, and the boys broke apart, both blushing. "I came to check on Harry, since you seemed so worried," she said, mostly to the Slytherin. "May I ask why you were so worried to begin with?" Harry shifted uncomfortably, eventually just sitting down on the couch.

"Well, because his parents died today, obviously," he lied easily.

"No it was something more, you never mentioned anything about his parents when we talked. Not even once," she replied, confusion clearly written over her face.

"Then you must have heard wrong," the blond said, dismissing the thought with a wave of his hand, though on the inside he was panicking. Would Harry hate him after this?

"I know I didn't. Now tell me what's going on before I-"

"STOP IT!" Harry's voice cut through Hermione's, putting a stop to whatever she was going to say next. He pulled his legs up, hugging his knees, and resting his head on top of them. "Just stop the arguing, and mind your own business Hermione."

"Then tell me what's going on. Did you have another attack? Are you ok?"

"Attack? What does she mean attack?" Harry glared down in his lap, head still resting comfortably on his knees. Hermione looked at Harry in disbelief.

"You still haven't told him?"

"Told me what? Harry what's going on?" Tears of anger and sadness silently escaped the boys eyes, as he took a shaky breath. This was it, this was the end. It had been a lovely few months, but it was all over now. Draco, Harry's best friend (Ron and Hermione were family, obviously), would leave him after this. After he saw what a mental freak this boy was. This unwanted freak, who's own Aunt and Uncle didn't even love him. He remembered the summers there, filled with chores, cooking meals, few hours of rest, and beatings. So many beatings.

"Harry has PTSD." The blond looked over his shoulder at the now shaking boy. Not once did leaving cross his mind. Honestly, Draco didn't know why he didn't realize it sooner. Of course the poor boy had PTSD, look at the messed-up life this boy has. "He also has depression, which causes him to also lose his appetite most of the time." He took in the new information, pondering it for a few moments, causing an awkward silence. Harry was on edge the entire time. Something clicked in the back of the blond's mind, causing him to quickly look back at the smaller boy.

"Harry, take off your glamours." Harry looked up in shock.

"What are you talking about, I don't-"

"Don't lie to me. Now, take them off." With a side glance at Hermione, he sighed, grabbing his wand. Hermione held her breath while Harry took the spell off. "Now take your shirt off." 

Harry, realizing Draco was serious, didn't even try to fight. He pulled his shirt up over his head, reealing a bare chest that would have normally made Draco's heart skip a beat. Ok, maybe it still did, but he was much more focused on the problem afoot. Each of Harry's ribs was easily visible, and he looked scarily unhealthy.

"When was the last time you ate?" Draco asked, his eyes wide. 

"I eat every few days, it's just not much. Maybe half a piece of toast or so?"

"Harry, we're going to the hospital wing right now," Hermione demanded.

"I'm fine," he said, getting up a bit to quickly, causing him to get dizzy and fall over. He stayed on the ground, waiting for the black spots dotting his vision went away.

"Yes, and I live on mars," Draco said, rolling his eyes. He folded his arms and tapped his foot to the ground impatiently, waiting for Harry to get up. Harry still took forever, so Draco picked him up bridal style and carried him out of the room. The smaller boy yelped in surprise. Hermione followed, but froze as she saw Harry's arm. 

*TW- mentions of self harm*

"H-harry?" Draco turned back around so Harry could face Hermione.

"Yeah?" Harry followed Hermione's gaze all the way down to his arm, and he quickly tried to hide it, though the damage had been done.

"That's why Malfoy had to find you, isn't it? So you didn't do it again?" Harry nodded slowly, looking away in shame. He hated himself so much right now, for causing his friends to worry, for doing it, for enjoying it. Draco quickly tried to help the distressed boy, coming to his defenses.

"Yes, and he's already said he'll stop, so no need to worry."

"I-I didn't even realize." Hermione seemed in a daze, her vision was fuzzy, and Draco's came from a mile away. She felt like such a horrible friend, for not noticing and being there him. "How did you find out?" Her head shot up suddenly, making Harry feel dizzy again. 

"I figured it out about a week ago in the library while were doing homework together." Hermione nodded. 

*Ya'll are good now, it's over.*

"Well, off to the hospital then." Harry let go of Draco's shirt, which he had previously grabbed fistful's of. He hadn't even realized it, to be honest.

They set off for the hospital wing, chatting briefly along the way. Harry fell asleep in Draco's arms before they were even halfway.

The death of his parents forgotten in the chaos, Harry actually had an ok Halloween. He spent the rest of the day with Hermione and Draco in the hospital wing, though he'd be out tomorrow. He was now required to take a potion every morning to get him properly nourished, as well as easing back into more food. That was when he gave up with keeping secrets like this from his friends, because with their help everything was easier. This year may not be so bad after all.

\--------------------------------

Dean and Seamus were going to stop by the hospital wing to say hello to Madame Pomfrey, who they both agreed wasn't appreciated enough. They stopped at the door, noticing laughs and voices coming from inside. They peeked open the door to see Harry sitting next to Malfoy in a hospital bed, with Hermione in a chair across from them. The three were laughing, and Harry and Hermione looked quite happy to be with their old enemy, Draco Malfoy. Dean and Seamus shared a devilish look, and quickly left to their room to discuss the new information, Madame Pomfrey forgotten.


	24. Operation Drarry

Dean and Seamus were ecstatic all throughout the next morning, but no one seemed to know why. Truth is, they were up late last night, working on Operation Drarry, which is what they decided to call their plan to get Malfoy and Harry together. The plan had been going slow before, and they still hadn't really known what they were going to do. But then they saw the blond with Harry and Hermione yesterday, changing everything.

The couple had quickly came to the realization that they needed information, so they slipped Hermione a note during breakfast.

Hermione  
Meet us in the RoR after breakfast. We need your help with something.  
-D&S

She looked up at the two, and nodded before going back to her meal. They smiled at each other, before also devouring their food.

\-------------------------------

Hermione waited for Harry in the common room, reading a book on one of the couches in the room. After a few minutes, he came down the hallway, and Hermione handed him his potion. He drank it, his nose crinkling at the taste. It tasted like old socks, and he should know, having plenty of gross socks shoved in his face before. 

They waited a bit longer for Ron, who came out of his room still half asleep, eyelids fighting to stay open. The three walked to the Great Hall in a comfortable silence, not needing to say anything. They took their usual seats, and began eating. Dean and Seamus walked in, slipping Hermione a note.

Hermione  
Meet us in the RoR after breakfast. We need your help with something.  
-D&S

She hesitated for a moment. It was a Saturday, and she and Pansy had planned to meet up and do some homework, just hanging out when they were finished. Figuring what the two needed couldn't possibly take all day, she gave a nod, agreeing to meet up. She then went back to her meal, also making sure that Harry had a small bit of food. Not too much though, he was supposed to ease back into a normal breakfast. The Gryffindor watched as her brother picked up a piece of toast, and paled as it reached his mouth. He set it back down, feeling a bit sick. Hermione sighed.

"Come on Harry, just a few bites?" Harry looked at her, a war inside his head, before he finally nodded and picked it back up again, this time taking a small bite. By the time breakfast was over, Harry had eaten a little less than half the piece, and Hermione was satisfied enough, so she let him leave.

She scanned the Great Hall, looking for a certain Slytherin, standing up when she found the girl. Hermione made her way over to Pansy, smiling as she watched her girlfriend talking with her friends, loving the smile across the Slytherin's face. Pansy noticed the girl as she got closer, and instead turned her attention over to her.

"Hey beautiful," Pansy smirked, loving the blush that found it's way to her girlfriends cheeks. "Ready to go?"

"Something actually came up, and we'll have to meet up later." At this Draco faced the bushy-haired girl.

"Does this something have anything to do with Potter?" he asked, his voice sounding annoyed, but his eyes filled with concern.

"No it doesn't, and mind your own business," she said, playing along. Pansy sighed, wishing the two got along better. "Now, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," she glared at Draco, "is that alright?" 

"Of course." Pansy smiled and watched as her girlfriend walked of. "You couldn't have been a bit nicer?" she asked the blond.

"I have no idea what your talking about," Draco smirked, shoving a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

\------------------------------

Dean and Seamus arrived just before Hermione, admiring the comfortable beanbags the room had provided for them. There were three, but Dean and Seamus shared one, taking a seat as the door opened, revealing a concerned Hermione.

"Is everything alright? Are you guys ok? What do you need? I can-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," Seamus said, putting his hand up. "We're fine."

"Then why am I here? Pansy and I were-"

"How are you and Pansy, by the way?"

"Fine, now stop interrupting me. As I was say-"

"And how did Harry feel about you being together?" Hermione looked confused at their random questions, before a look of shock replaced it. 

"Oh Merlin! I forgot to tell Harry!" The boys were confused. They had figured that Harry and Draco had become friends because of Harry and Pansy's relationship. Now they really needed answers.

"Have a seat Hermione, we have to talk."

"About what?" She took the beanbag chair right across from theirs.

"Where do we even start?" 

They boys stopped to think, before Seamus piped up, saying, "We saw you with Malfoy and Harry yesterday, and were very confused at the apparent friendship between the three of you. Care to explain that first?"

"Why? And I'm not really allowed to say anyway, and I won't go against my word," she said, and paused, before adding, "unless you give my good reason." The boys beamed at her.

"We have excellent reasons. Hermione, how would you like to become a part of Operation Drarry?" The boys smirked, though they were nervous that she wouldn't help, that she'd hate the idea even.

"What's Drarry? Is it in the dictionary, because I've memorized it and I don't remember seeing Drarry anywhere?"

"Drarry is the ship name we came up with for Harry and Draco." Hermione made an o shape with her mouth, before getting excited.

"Wouldn't they just be adorable together? Finally, someone else who sees their potential. And Malfoy obviously likes Harry, it a wonder how no one else realizes it." The couple was taken aback by her sudden fangirl moment, but then sighed in relief.

"So you'll help us?"

"Of course I will!"

"Great, now spill."

"Well, the boys became friends on their own, about a month ago, or maybe two. I don't remember. Anyway, a couple weeks ago, I was talking to Harry, and Draco barged in. That's when I realized they were friends. But then I thought back to before even that, when Harry had been in the hospital wing for a PTSD attack. Yes, Harry has PTSD, but not a lot of people know and you can't tell anyone. Anyway, Draco said he had found him, though I think they had been hanging out or something. What I'm trying to say, is that it was that night that made my realized Draco's feelings, even if I realized it weeks later. The problem is, I'm not sure if Harry is gay or not."

The boys laughed out loud at her last statement. "Are you kidding?" Seamus laughed.

"That boy is gayer than Merlin himself. Well, bisexual actually. That's what we think anyway," Dean said, trying to calm himself after his fit of laughter.

"What do you think I am?" She still hadn't figured it out, and it was bothering her more than she'd like to admit.

"You don't need to be labelled, 'Mione," Seamus said. "But if it really bothers you that much, we think you might be pansexual, or maybe even demisexual." Hermione nodded, grateful for the help.

The three continued for another hour, before Operation Drarry finally had an organized, detailed plan. The only problem, was that they needed a certain stubborn blond ferret in on it for the plan to actually work.


	25. Libraries and Hospital Wings

Hermione, Dean, and Seamus were suddenly spending quite a lot more time together. Harry thought it to be suspicious, but Ron rolled his eyes.

"Merlin Harry, you think everyone is always up to something."

"I do not!"

"Whatever you say," the ginger replied, rolling his eyes again.

Hermione had asked Draco to meet her in the library, since they were on the best terms out of the three. Surprise it was, when Draco entered and found the three of them, devilish smirks.

"Hello, Malfoy," Deam smirked. "How's it going?" Assuming this was a trap of some sort, the blond pulled out his wand and pointed it at the three, betrayal in his eyes as he stared at Hermione.

"Woah there, drama queen. Put the wand down, we won't hurt you," Seamus rolled his eyes.

"I am not a drama queen. And how do I know you aren't lying?" He heard Seamus mutter 'drama queen' again as the three took out their wands and rolled them on the ground towards Draco's feet. He picked them up, and handed them back. The three looked at him bewildered. Draco merely rolled his eyes.

"You get them back, because when you gave them to me, you showed you wouldn't hex me. And seeing the look on all of your faces, it wasn't expected, so you obviously didn't plan that. Honeslty, aren't you supposed to be smart, Granger?" Hermione flushed at that, looking at her feet, somewhat embarrassed. "Why am I here, again?"

"We have matters to discuss with you," Dean said, pocketing him want back in his robes. "Sit, why don't you?" The Slytherin nodded, taking a seat at the nearest table, the others doing the same. "Let's get straight to the point, shall we?"

"Alright," Draco responded hesitantly, not sure what exactly the point was.

"We know you fancy Harry," Seamus said, a grin spread wide across his face. Draco flushed, as Dean admired the goofy grin his boyfriend was sporting, before looking at Draco's red face his face also breaking into a grin. 

"Wha-I don't, why do you-of course I don't fancy Potter! Have you lost your marbles?"

"The blushing says otherwise, Malfoy."

"I am not blushing! Malfoy's don't blush, Finnigan!"

"Good thing you're not a Malfoy then. Or, you won't be for long at least," Dean smirked, and Draco got redder. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, don't deny it, because we know. And it's your lucky day, because we're going to get you guys together," Seamus said.

"You guys are stupid, Harry's straight," Draco muttered. Dean and Seamus laughed at this.

"If we thought he was straight, would we be trying to get you two together?"

"Why are you trying to set us up anyway? I'm a death eater, and he's the bloody savior, it would never work out."

"Ex-death eater," Hermione said. "And it's obvious you've changed."

"How would you know if I've changed, I've never even done anything but insult you. And Harry and I don't even talk to each other, so your little plan probably won't work," the blond says, pointing a finger at the three.

"You can drop this stupid act right now Malfoy, Hermione's already told us everything. And you called him Harry, which was a dead giveaway."

"Granger, how hard is it to keep one bloody secret?! Merlin, you Gryffindors have no morals."

"It was essential I told them, or else Operation Drarry would have gone nowhere."

"What's Operation Drarry?"

"It's what we're calling our plan to get you and Harry together. You know, because Draco and Harry together is Drarry." Draco rolled his eyes, and stood up to leave, because he did not need help from any Gryffindorks. 

"Draco Malfoy you sit back down this instant. At least here the plan before you decide whether or not to help."

"Fine," he sighed, sitting back down, "but this doesn't mean I've agreed to anything yet." The three Gryffindors told him the plan, and after much consideration, persuasion, and yelling, Draco Malfoy agreed to this horrid plan.

The four walked out of the library, Draco walking behind them so they didn't raise too much suspicion. They were walking back to the common room, when they saw Ron carrying a bloody and unconscious Harry Potter.

"What did you do to him?" Draco yelled, pushing in front of the other three. 

"For your information, I found him like this. And don't act like you care. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way to the hospital wing." Ron walked on, leaving a fuming, worried ferret behind. 

"Come on Malfoy, let's go," Seamus said.

"What, no! I'm going to the hospital wing!" Seamus rolled his eyes.

"I meant to the hospital wing, you prat." The four rushed back up to where Ron was, and he paused to look at Malfoy.

"What are you doing? Going to hex him while he's already unconscious?"

"Ronald, give it a rest already! He's coming, and that's final," Hermione snapped. Ron was confused, of course, but nodded nonetheless, letting the blond tag along.

\---------------------------------

It had been three hours since the six arrived at the hospital, and the five conscious ones were a nervous wreck. They hadn't spoken much, except for the first few minutes when Madame Pomfrey and the others questioned Ron about what he'd seen.

"I was looking for Harry, because we had planned to finish the essay for Potions together later. I looked all over, and eventually went to the lake, because that's where he goes to clear his head and relax. This was how I found him when I got there," was what he had told everyone. This was obviously no help, so they had to wait for Harry to wake up for any real answers.

It was after those three restless hours that Harry finally did wake up again. Draco was the first one there, for the rest had been pacing the room waiting. 

"Draco..." the boy croaked. His head felt like twenty thestrals were sitting on it, and his body stung all over.

The blond gave a small smile. "Yeah, it's me." The other boy returned the smile. By now the others had realized that Harry was awake, and they rushed over. Madame Pomfrey shoved everyone out of the way while she did more tests on him, and handed him a glass of water. After he'd downed that, she gave him a potion. Instantly, the pain in his head lessened, though it didn't leave completely.

"Care to explain what happened Mr. Potter?"

"No biggie, just got attacked," he said, shifting to a more comfortable position. He was quite tired, and just wanted to go back to sleep.

Draco's eyes widened. "You got attacked? By who?" By then Harry seemed to have realized what he'd said, and he tried to cover it up.

"Oh, I never saw what they looked like."

"You forget that I can tell when your lying."

"Who said I was lying?"

"There you go again." Harry rolled his eyes, and looked around. It was then that he noticed th other four students in the room. Ron looked confused, Dean and Seamus were smirking, and Hermione looked worried.

"Who would try to attack you?"

"Probably Malfoy," Ron said.

"Nah, he was with us," Seamus replied. Harry and Ron were both surprised and confused by this. It seemed everyone was confused right now.

"Harry, you never told me who attacked you," Draco stated, raising an eyebrow. Harry tensed.

"It doesn't matter."

"Last I checked it did. What if they try it again?"

"Then I guess I'll be back in the hospital wing. Not like it's unusual for me to be here anyway."

"That's not really a good thing."

"Never said it was."

"Harry, just answer the bloody question!" Harry mumbled something under his breath, but it was only loud enough for Draco to here. The blond got up angrily, and walked out, leaving everyone else stunned.

"That stupid Slytherin," Harry said trying to get up to go after him, before he did anything he'd regret. Madame Pomfrey pushed him back down though, refusing to let him leave. "I have to go stop him, let me go!"

"Stop him from what?" Hermione asked.

"From murdering bloody Theodore Nott!"


	26. Brothers and Best Mates

Harry had just been relaxing by the lake, clearing his mind. He hadn't expected the hex that hit him right in the middle of his back. His first instinct was obviously to get his wand out. Harry ignored the pain in his back as he moved, and turned around to face Nott as he cast another spell, which Harry quickly blocked. Harry was drained of energy, however, from the countless days of no sleep. He couldn't keep up with the amount that Nott was sending so quickly.

"Levicorpus!" Harry shot up in the air, before Nott released him almost instantly. Harry fell to the ground at lightning speed, and his head his a rock, causing it to bleed. His knee and elbow were also bleeding, though not as bad. Nott repeated the spell once more, letting Harry fall again. This time, when Harry hit the ground he blacked out. Nott punched him in the face, blood now also flowing from his nose, and took of before anyone found him.

Luckily, it was only about five minutes before Ron found Harry there, covered in a scary amount of blood. He hastily picked up the unconscious boy, and made his way to the hospital wing.

\-------------------------------

Draco threw open the door to his room, to find Theo there, looking like nothing had happened at all. Draco slammed the door shut, his hand grabbing for his wand. Theo looked up at the sudden noise.

"Oh, hey Draco. Listen, Blaise wants us to...you ok?" Draco glared at him, the anger flowing through him, his knuckles white from gripping his wand so tight. "Is something wro-"

"YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!"

"Come again?" Theo was taken aback by the sudden change in behavior. Just this morning everything had been fine between them.

"Don't act like you don't know what you did," Draco said through clenched teeth.

"What did I do?"

"WHAT KIND OF PERSON HEXES SOMEONE WHILE THEY'RE DEFENSELESS, LET ALONE UNTIL THEY'RE UNCONSCIOUS?"

"I don't know what your talking about," Theo replied, innocence plastered on his face. 

"Whatever," Draco muttered before throwing a stinging hex at the other boy, and walking out without a second glance. As much as he hated Theo, he didn't have it in himself to seriously hurt him, or anyone really. Draco hated violence and pain, and he hated being the cause of it. All of his fights were verbal, with very few exceptions, this being one of them.

Draco made his way back to the hospital wing, calming down a little more with every step. So when he got back, looking calm and relaxed, it surprised everyone else. He silently walked back to his seat by Harry's bed, and sat down.

"What'd you do?" Harry asked.

"Stinging hex," Draco replied simply, not in the mood to go into further detail. Harry let out a sigh of relief, though he knew the blond wouldn't have gone too far.

"What is going on? Why are Malfoy and Harry acting like they're best mates all the sudden, and why did Nott attack him? To add to this chaos, I'm starving and there's not a single piece of chicken in sight!" Hermione and Harry rolled their eyes, and Dean and Seamus looked amused.

"It's because we are best mates, you oblivious git. And why are you so bloody obsessed with chicken?" Harry replied casually. Ron's mouth fell open, and Draco eyes widened. Dean and Seamus didn't seem affected by the news, so Harry figured Draco had told them earlier.

"Hold on, I thought I was your best mate?" Ron seemed jealous, and slightly offended, which amused the raven-haired boy.

"Of course not, don't be ridiculous," Harry answered, having a bit of fun with the ginger. Ron's eyes widened.

"Don't tell me I've been replaced with this good for nothing death eater scum," Ron said, not realizing the weight of the words as they left his mouth. Hermione gasped quietly, the playful smile faded from Harry's face, and Draco looked at the ground.

"Don't you ever call him that, Ron." Ron gulped and nodded. Harry turned to Draco, and after deeming him alright, faced Ron again. "To answer your question, the reason your not my best mate, is because I see you as a brother." This only seemed to embarrass Ron more, as he flushed and hung his head.

It was then, that Theodore Nott walked in, wincing at every step he took. Madame Pomfrey reluctantly walked over and tended to him. As everyone else except Harry glared at him, while Harry avoided even looking in his direction.

Madame Pomfrey, although she had a good guess, asked, "How did this happen, Mr. Nott?"

Theodore glared and moved to point at the blond, before thinking better of it, due to the pain he got every time he moved. "Malfoy."

"Yes, well I believe it was rightfully justified, seeing as what you did to him was much worse," Draco replied, pointing at Harry. It was strange to think that they had been getting along so well just a few hours prior, while their eyes now showed so much hate towards one another.

"I have no idea what your talking about!"

"Your a bloody freak, did you know? Why don't you just do us all a favor and throw yourself off the Astronomy tower?" Harry tensed at the word freak, a word he's heard all too much.

"Mr. Malfoy, I think that's enough. You as well, Mr. Nott," Madame Pomfrey glared at both boys. They both shut up, but there were daggers coming out of both of their eyes. Harry wanted out of the hospital wing, right then and there. It was uncomfortable, the amount of hateful tension in the room. 

Dean, Seamus, and Hermione left because, unlike Harry, they actually could. Ron and Draco stayed back, though Harry hadn't really expected the ferret to leave. Ron looked nervous, and he stood up. "Listen Malfoy, about what I said-"

"It's fine Wealsey, no harm done." Harry rolled his eyes at the very obvious lie, but didn't say anything. Ron nodded, and turned to leave, before abruptly stopping.

"Hang on. You were Harry's secret girlfriend, weren't you?" Harry burst out laughing, and Draco flushed.

"What?"

"Well, since you guys were always disappearing and such, we all assumed that Harry had a girlfriend he wasn't telling us about."

"Oh," Draco said, and Ron left, leaving the two alone with Theo, as Madame Pomfrey had run off to who knows where. Oh yes, this should be fun indeed.


	27. Feelings

It had been a day since Harry had got released from the hospital. Luckily, Theo and the other two had just ignored each other the whole, otherwise the hospital wing would have most likely been set on fire. Now that Harry was back, the others were ready to take action on Operation Drarry. The first step would be all Hermione, and possibly Draco.

Hermione took a deep breath, and walked over to where Harry was seated in the common room.

"Hey Harry, how are you?" Harry turned to Hermione, noticing she seemed nervous. 

"Alright 'Mione, spill. What is it?"

"Well, I was wondering...do you like Draco?" Harry gave her a puzzled look.

"Yeah, why?" Hermione rolled her eyes.

"No Harry, I mean like like him." Harry was, once again, confused.

"No. I'm not gay, 'Mione. At least, I don't think I am. You know what, I'm just going to stop talking now." So, Harry didn't like him yet, or maybe he didn't know he did. That meant the plan was officially starting. Time to make Harry as jealous as possible.

"Oh, that's good. Because I like him, and I think he might fancy me as well." It was a good thing he didn't know she was dating Pansy, but it was a wonder how he hadn't heard yet. The entire school knew except for him.

"Oh...alright then. Did you want me to talk to him for you or something?" Hermione just stared at him, before remembering what she was supposed to be doing.

"Oh, would you? That would be amazing! Your the best, Harry!" She pulled the boy into a hug, before rushing off to tell Dean and Seamus what had happened, while Harry walked off to Draco's dorm room. He hesitated at the door, his hand up ready to knock. What if Theo answered, or Draco wasn't there? There was something else holding him back, but he didn't know what it was.

"Looking for Draco?" Harry jumped, and turned around. Pansy stood behind him, a smirk painted across her face. He nodded. "Well, you won't find him there, since he basically moved out."

"Do you know where he's staying then?"

"I do, but he's not there either. Come, on, I'll take you." She started walking and Harry jogged a bit to catch up with her. "So tell me, golden boy, why would you be looking for him?"

"Setting him up with a friend. Do you know if he likes anyone by chance?" Pansy stopped walking, and turned so she was directly facing Harry. She put a hand on his shoulder, and looked him dead in the eye.

"Yes Harry, he does like someone," she said, before continuing on their trek. 

"Who?"

"Well I'd be a horrible friend if I told you that, wouldn't I?"

"Pansy, you can tell me. Draco and I are friends now, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Wait, what do you mean you guys are friends? Why didn't he tell me? How long?"

"Well we've been friends for a few months, and it was kinda a secret, but now Hermione, Ron, Dean, and Seamus all know, as well as you."

"So Hermione and Draco both knew, and didn't say anything to me!" The two continued walking to wherever Draco was, conversation easy between the two. Pansy took him all the way up to the Astronomy tower, where Draco stood. Harry tried to fight down the memories this place was bringing up, not wanting to remember them at all. 

He walked over to Draco, his breath seeming shallow. "Doesn't this place bother you at all?" he asked, breathlessly. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid himself of the terrible flashback he was getting. 

Avada Kedavra! The flash of green emitted from Snape's want hit Dumbledore and just like that, dead.

He fought with his own mind, trying to push the pictures clear to the back of his mind, but they would only keep resurfacing.

Dumbledore was falling, all the way down the Astronomy tower, the twinkle in his eye gone, as well as his life. And all Harry could do was watch, frozen in place.

Again, he pushed it down. It was then that he became aware he was on the ground, two bodies hovering over him. He felt nauseous, and his hands were trembling slightly. 

"Deep breaths, Harry. Can you stand?" Harry tried standing. His legs felt like jelly, and he was lightheaded, but he still stood. "Good, now walk with us." Harry followed the two bodies, which he vaguely remembered to be Pansy and Draco. He started walking, though he wasn't sure where. 

Slowly he gained his senses back, as the three of them walked. "How long was I like that?" 

"About five minutes, not too long," Draco answered. Harry nodded.

"I guess you want an explanation then," he said, turning to Pansy.

"You tell me if you want, but I won't pressure you into anything." Harry nodded once more.

"Was there something you needed?" Draco asked.

"Huh?"

"Well, there was a reason you were coming up, wasn't there?"

"Oh, right. Well, uh...how do you feel about Hermione?" Pansy perked up at this, and threw Draco a confused look. He mouthed back, "Go along with it." She nodded, though she was still confused.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I might fancy her." Harry was happy for the two, really, he was. That being said, he ignored the sinking feeling in his chest, and smiled.

"Brilliant, she fancies you too." And with that, Pansy dragged Draco away, and Harry tried to ignore his feelings. Feelings that were pointless, and a waste of his time.


	28. Who Am I?

Harry didn't know what was happening to him. He felt so many of those stupid feelings that only ruined lives. And they were all jumbled up, so he couldn't tell one emotion from the other. He was just one big, emotional mess.

He didn't leave his bed the entire day, he just sat and tried to think about everything. He thought about a certain blond more than he would have liked to admit. It was the thing between him and Hermione that confused him the most. It bothered him, and he just didn't know why. He was almost...jealous.

Harry shot up from where he was lying on the bed. His eyes were so wide, anyone watching might have thought they were going to explode. It couldn't be...he wouldn't...he couldn't...did he like Hermione?

It didn't make any sense. Sure, she was a beautiful girl, but he'd always thought their relationship was more of a brother-sister thing, like with Ginny. But if he felt like that, it was going to ruin everything, with both Hermione and Draco. 

Harry had to keep telling himself to calm down as he walked to Gryffindor tower. He was just being crazy, he told himself. He knew, deep down, that Hermione wasn't the problem, but he continued anyway. Finally, a familiar portrait came into view, and it was only then that he realized he didn't have the password.

After much persuasion and flattery, the Fat Lady allowed the other Gryffindor in. He walked into the familiar common room, heads turning toward him. "Is Ginny here?" A small girl with chestnut colored hair, most likely a third year, nodded slowly.

"She's in her dorm."

"Does anyone mind getting her for me?" A different girl stood up, and left to get her. Harry looked around the room, before his eyes locked with someone who had been staring at Harry since he walked in. And suddenly Harry felt like the worst person to ever walk the planet. Even after he was walked out with Ginny, he couldn't shake the look on Dennis Creevy's face from his mind.

"Want to go outside?" Harry nodded, and the two began their walk. They walked in silence, though it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Finally, they were outside, the fresh air immediately making the raven-haired boy feel more relaxed. 

The two stopped under a tree, Harry instantly sitting against it's trunk. "I think I like her," he said weakly, and a bit shakily.

"Who?" Ginny asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Hermione." He looked to see her reaction, and sure enough, pure shock was written across her face.

"Are you sure?" Harry shook his head.

"No, but she was telling me about how she likes Draco, and I got really jealous. That has to mean something, right?" Ginny paused, before realization struck her like a kick in the head.

"Harry, I don't think you like Hermione. And I also know for a fact that she does not like Draco."

"How do you know she doesn't?"

"Because she's dating Pansy." Harry's mouth dropped open, though he wasn't jealous anymore. In fact, he felt a whole lot better knowing she didn't like Draco. 

"Then why would she say that?"

"My guess was to make you jealous, and it obviously worked."

" But why would she want me to feel jealous if- oh."

"Harry, when you're with Draco, do you feel like there are millions of butterflies flying around in your chest. Does your skin tingle at every touch? Does he make you smile, make you feel...alive?"

Harry gave a small, weak nod.

"Harry, I don't think you like Hermione," she repeated.

"Does this mean I'm gay?"

"I mean, not necessarily. Why don't you sleep on it, it's getting late. Tomorrow morning, I'll meet you back here, and we can talk about it some more, help you figure everything out." Harry nodded and pulled Ginny into a tight hug.

"Thank you."

"Anytime loser."

\-----------------------------

Harry avoided Draco like the plague, knowing from experience he was far too awkward with his crushes. He never tried to make it obvious, but some how everyone always knew. Especially Hermione, who, in case you were wondering, was already getting suspicious. Harry knew just how to distract her though, and he could even get a good laugh out of it.

"Hey Hermione, how's it going?"

"Fine, I suppose. What's up?"

"Oh, well I talked to Draco. Apparently he fancies you too. Isn't that great, 'Mione?" It most certainly wasn't. How dare Draco be all straight and fancy Hermione. 

Hermione smiled, which Harry could tell was forced, now that he knew what he knew. "So tell me, what are your favourite things about Mr. Ferret?"

"Oh, um, his grey eyes. Yes, and the hair, very...blond. Not to mention that smirk." Hermione gave a nervous laugh. She was a fairly good actor, but coming up with stuff on the spot made things a million times harder.

"So...his looks. You didn't mention one single thing about his personality, just his physical features." 

"Oh, did I? Well, he's quite funny. And very...smart?"

"You say that like it's a question. You don't think Draco's smart?"

"No, of course not! I mean yes, I was saying no to-" Hermione was cut off by Harry's laughter. "What's so funny?" she huffed, crossing her arms. 

Once Harry had calmed down enough, he said," Draco, really Hermione? Why the heck would you pretend to like him, especially when you've got a girlfriend. By the way, I heard I was the last person in the entire school to find out, and I'm pretty sure I should have been the first."

Hermione stared at him, shocked. "How did you find out?"

"Doesn't matter," Harry smirked. "So, why'd you do it? You know you could just tell him you don't like him, I'm sure he won't be hurt too bad." Hermione mentally sighed with relief. This could still work.

"I suppose your right, but I would feel just awful, having broken two hearts in the past month."

"Don't worry, 'Mione. I don't think he's far enough gone to be absolutely heartbroken." He really, really hoped so. "A little hurt, yes. But not heartbroken." 

Hermione was about to say something, when Harry suddenly jumped up. "What time is it?" Hermione cast a tempus charm. It was just after nine. "Shoot, I have to go, Hermione."

"What, where?"

"I'm meeting up with Ginny. See you later," he called as he ran out of the common room.

Harry was fifteen minutes late by the time he made it to the same spot as the day before. Ginny was there, sitting against the trunk as they had been the day before. "Thought you weren't gonna show," she said, smirking.

"And why's that?" Ginny thought about it, then shrugged.

"I really don't know." Harry laughed, Ginny joining in. "So, do you know yet?" Harry shook his head.

"No, I actually hadn't thought about it that much. Guess I forgot," he lied. Ginny sighed, rolling her eyes.

"You don't have to lie, it's me Harry."

"I couldn't sleep last night."

"You can't sleep any night."

"Fair point. But it was different this time. Usually I have to be doing things, so I don't fall asleep. Last night I just laid down in bed, not even the slightest bit tired, and my mind wouldn't shut up."

"Harry, I'm bisexual...I think."

"How did you know?"

"I don't know, I'm dating Luna, so obviously I like girls. But I still think guys are hot, and I would still date them if Luna and I didn't work out. I don't really know if that counts as bi, but I'm definitely not lesbian. I guess I could be pansexual...or maybe-"

"Alright," Harry laughed, "I think I get it. But how do I know who I am?"

"Harry, I'm not an expert on the LGBTQ+ Community just because I'm apart of it. I really don't know." Harry let out a long, dramatic sigh. 

"It's cool. Just don't like being confused." 

"I get that. Come on, we better get to our classes before we're late." Ginny stood up, and held out a hand, which Harry took. She pulled him up, and he dusted off his robes, even though there probably wasn't anything on them. Another hug, and the two went their separate ways, Ginny to the greenhouses, and Harry back towards the castle.

\---------------------------------

It was a day later that it happened. He had just been walking down the corridor. Just peacefully walking, not a care in the world. Ok, so that was a lie. He was tired, hungry, confused, guilty, depressed, and much more, but that isn't what this is about. He had been walking, and he just knew.

He didn't know how, or why it was then that it clicked, it just did. And the smile on Harry's face was big, bright, and it wasn't going anywhere. 

Because Harry was bi. Harry James Potter was The Bi Who Lived. And he didn't try to deny it, not even a little. He welcomed it, with open arms, because this was who he was.


	29. Confessions

It had been a week since Harry knew he was bisexual, since he knew he liked Draco. The only person that knew was Ginny, but he was wondering if he should tell Ron and Hermione. He'd felt bad that he hadn't told them already, but every time he thought about it he got anxious.

Pushing aside his anxiety, he walked over to where they were sitting in the common room one night after dinner. "Guys, I need to tell you something." The two looked up from their work, and Harry took a seat next to Hermione. It was silent for a few minutes, Harry trying to get the words to leave his mouth, Ron and Hermione waiting silently. 

Eventually, Ron decided to speak up. "Mate, what is it? You can tell us anything."

Harry closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. "I'm bi." He opened one eye to see their reactions. Hermione's eyes were sparkling with delight, and Ron had gone back to his Charms assignment. He sighed in relief, and opened his other eye.

"I knew it!" Harry jumped, and looked around for the voice he'd heard. 

A quieter one whispered-yelled, "Seamus, be quiet!"

"Dean?" Harry asked.

"Now look at what you've done, you've got us caught," Dean said, walking out from the hiding spot, Seamus following.

"Me! Your the one who said my name, making it obvious who we were," Seamus retorted. Harry just stared at the two, before bursting out in laughter. Ron and Dean started laughing too, Seamus and Hermione joining in as well. People started coming out of their rooms to see what all the noise was about. Some rolled their eyes and went back in their rooms, other stayed and watched the five with curious faces, before eventually leaving as well.

"Were you guys spying on us?" Harry asked after they'd calmed down a bit.

"Of course not! We were studying, and gathering information. Very different from spying," Seamus stated. Harry rolled his eyes.

"How exactly?"

"Well, because we had good reason to be studying you. And besides, it not like we found out anything new. Dean and I have known you were bi since like, third year."

"Your bi?" Harry turned around, and Draco was standing there, eyes wide slightly.

"Y-yes," Harry replied, mentally cursing himself for stuttering.

"Oh," the blond said, before rushing off to his room. Harry's eyes widened, and he turned to the other four.

"Do you think he's-"

"Homophobic? No," Seamus said, looking amused. Now that he looked around the room, so did Dean and Hermione.

"So, Harry. Who was it?" Dean asked.

"Who was what?"

"Who was the lucky bloke that made you realize you were bisexual?" Harry felt his face heat up.

"Oh, would you look at the time? I better get some sleep, night guys!" Harry practically ran to his room after that.

"Do you think it was Draco?" Hermione whispered.

"It's possible. But we are a bit biased, it could be Ron for all we know," Dean responded.

"Ew, it is not me!"

"Maybe it's Neville. They share a room, and have you seen him without a shirt?" Seamus added, receiving a playful smack on the arm from Dean.

"Let's just ask him about it tomorrow, I need to find Pansy anyway."

\-----------------------------------

Harry ran into his room, leaning against the door once he'd closed it, panting. 

"You alright Harry?" Neville asked.

"I'm bi," he said. 

"You are? I think I...I think I might be asexual and aromantic."

The two boys just looked at each other for a little while, before Harry got ready for bed and Neville went back to his Herbology book.

"You should tell people, you know. Maybe they'd stop throwing themselves at you constantly," Harry said as he sat on his bed. Neville put a bookmark in his book, and set it down.

"I know, but...what if they don't. What if it gets worse?" Harry sighed.

"What's wrong with the world?"

"Everything." And with that, the two fell asleep, though Harry woke only two hours later from the nightmares that plague his sleep daily.

\---------------------------------

Draco ran into him room. Harry was bisexual? Does this mean he had a chance now? His heart was racing, and he felt a bit dizzy.

"What are you doing here?" The blond froze. "Thought you moved out?"

"I did. Just ran into the wrong room, I think I'll leave now."

"No, I don't think you will. Petrificus Totalus! " Draco's whole body froze, literally this time.


	30. Bambi

"So...how's it going?"

"Are you trying to be awkward?"

"No, it's called conversation. The silence was way more awkward than this."

"Whatever Weasel."

"Don't call me that!"

"Why not?" 

"Because if you do, I'll call you Zabambi." Blaise sat in his bed, turning the lights back on.

"What does that even mean?"

"Well, Harry and Hermione showed me these things muggles watch, called movies. One of the muggles movies has this little baby deer named Bambi. I could show you if you want."

"Yeah, alright." Ron got up from his bed, and pulled the sheet off. He used his wand the smooth it out, then pin it to the wall. 

"Um, I'm not really sure how we get the movie," Ron said, looking puzzled.

"Accio Bambi," Blaise tried. They waited a few minutes, but gave up when nothing happened. Blaise was about to try something else when something flew in through an open window and hit Ron in the side of the head.

"Ow," the ginger cried, cradling his head in his hands. Blaise picked up the thing that had hit him. It was a strange black box, with two white circles in the center. It was odd, and Blaise had never seen anything like it before. "Oh, I guess the accio did work."

"This," Blaise said, holding up the black box, "is the muggle movie?" Ron nodded, taking the box from him.

"Hermione said it was called a VCR or something. Now we need a projector." He went to his trunk, and pulled out something large and white that Blaise figured was the projector.

"Why do you keep a projector in your trunk?" Ron shrugged.

"I had some extra space that I just wanted to fill, so I grabbed the first thing I saw and shoved it in before we left." Blaise snorted, and helped the redhead set up the muggle thing.

As they were sitting down to watch the movie, Ron noticed a certain blond was nowhere to be seen. "Shouldn't Malfoy be back by now, it's kinda late?"

"No, I'm sure he's fine. Sometimes, especially during sixth year, he would leave and just spend all night wandering the castle. He's most likely up in the astronomy tower right now." Ron only nodded, and the two started the movie. 

When it ended, both boys were struggling to keep their eyes open. "How'd you like it?" Ron yawned. Blaise didn't answer, merely dropped his head on the other's shoulder, and dozed off. Ron stared at Blaise in shock, before falling asleep himself, head casually resting on the Slytherin's.

\---------------------------------

Blaise slowly opened his eyes, awaking from the best sleep he'd had in forever. Odd, he thought, since he had fallen asleep on the couch. Suddenly he felt wide awake, and he hastily tried to get up, knocking a certain redhead to the floor in the process. Blaise stared at the lump on the ground with wide eyes, his heart racing more than he'd care to admit. 

Ron sat up with a groan, confused to why he was currently on the floor. He hadn't fallen out of the bed in ages, so why all the sudden. He hadn't even had a nightmare. Slowly, the events off last night came back to him, and he felt his face heat up. It was then that he noticed the other in the room, who was way to good-looking for his own good. Wait, what?

Both boys just stared at the other, Ron's face getting closer to the color of his hair by the second. It hadn't even been that big of a deal, they'd just watched a movie together, then fell asleep together, and...ok, so maybe it was a big deal, to them anyways.

Ron got up from the floor, and walked backwards towards the door. "I'm gonna...Harry...yeah," he said, before darting out. He really did go to Harry's though. "Harry, help me. I am having a sexual identity crisis!" 

"Shush Ron, you'll wake Neville!"

"Huh?" He looked over to the sleeping boy, then at Harry. There were dark circles under his eyes, he looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks, which, he probably hadn't. "Oh, sorry. Harry, when was the last time you slept?"

"Never mind that. Now, what were you saying? Something about a sexual identity crisis?" Ron could practically hear the smirk in Harry's voice. "Who was it?"

"No fair. You didn't tell me, so I don't have to tell you."

"So if I tell you who I like, you'll tell me who you do?"

"What? I never said I liked them!" Harry rolled his eyes, which were red and bloodshot from the lack of sleep. "Harry, I really think you should get some sleep."

"Stop getting off topic. You'll tell me then?"

"Ugh, fine. Yes, I'll tell you. But your sworn to secrecy, got it?"

"Yes, as long as you don't tell anyone as well."

"My lips are sealed. Alright, it was...Blaise."

"Wow, I mean, I thought he might have had a thing for you, but this? Just...wow."

"Wait, what do you mean you thought he had a thing for me? I need answers, stat!" Harry laughed. "On second thought, I want answers as soon as you tell me who you fancy."

"Fine, it's Draco. Now can we start talking about you and Blaise again?" Knowing not to push it further, Ron nodded. "So, what happened?"

"Well, we were watching a muggle movie, long story, and then we kinda fell asleep on the couch when it was over. Then, I don't know, I just panicked and ran in here."

"How stupid of you. Now go back, tell him you like him, and then ask him to Hogsmeade or something."

"What, no!"

"Do it or I'll Imperius you, then make you." Ron grumbled something under his breath as he walked out. When he got back to his room, Blaise was walking in circles around the room, though he stopped when he saw Ron.

"Hey," Ron said.

"Hey," Blaise replied. 

There were a few moments of awkward silence, before Ron just blurted out, "I like you." Blaise stopped breathing for a second, but he would never tell anyone that. Too un-Blaise of him.

"I fancy you as well." His voice came out a bit shaky, which he hated.

"Wanna go to Hogsmeade sometime?"

"Sure."

"Alright, Zabambi."


	31. The Shrieking Shack

"Have you seen Draco at all today?"

"No, have you?"

"Would I be asking if I had? Honestly Blaise, sometimes you can be pretty dull."

"Shut up Pansy. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Liar, you were thinking about Weasley, weren't you?"

"I said shut up."

"Have you guys seen Draco at all today?"

"I don't think anyone has, Potter."

"Should we be worried about it?"

"No, I'm sure he's-" 

"Guys, Nott's gone too!" Hermione said running up to the three, Ron trailing behind her. He shared a small smile with Blaise, before Harry interrupted.

"Her lovebirds, if you don't mind, we kinda have to find Draco, so can you do all that lovey stuff later?"

"Do you think he's alright? What if he's hurt? Oh, Merlin, what if he's dead? Are we positive Theo took him?"

"Pansy, calm down. He'll be fine, let's go to Theo's room and see if we can find anything," Hermione said, trying to calm her girlfriend's nerves. Pansy nodded, and the five went off to Theo's room.

When they got there, the searched the room thoroughly. Hermione found a note on Theo's pillow, but she quickly shoved it in her pocket before anyone else could read it. "I know where he is." Everyone turned to look at her. "He's in the Shrieking Shack."

"How do you know?"

"I hardly think that's of any importance. Harry, maybe you should sit this one out and let the rest of us go."

"What? No way, I'm coming and you can't stop me."

"But-"

"No Hermione, I'm going." Hermione sighed, knowing it was useless.

" Fine. Harry grab the map and your cloak, and everyone grab your wand if you don't have it with you already. We'll meet in the common room in five minutes. Any later, and we'll leave without you." They all nodded and broke off.

Moments later, they had set off towards the shack. When they reached the Whomping Willow, they stopped.

"Why'd we stop here?" Blaise asked, carefully watching the tree that was now thrashing it's branches around freely.

""It's a shortcut," Harry said, before grabbing a long branch and poking a knob on the trunk. The tree immediately froze, and the five moved on. As they got closer, they could hear the cries of pain coming from the old shack. Harry instantly picked up the pace, the cloak falling off in his hurry. Now in a full on sprint, the five reached the entrance in minutes, Harry in the lead.

They ran up the stairs, which creaked and wobbled a bit, then into the only closed door, where the sounds were coming from. There was Draco, chained and gagged, screaming into the cloth as he got his with spell after spell. Harry ran forward and removed the gag, allowing the other boy to speak.

"You shouldn't have come. She'll kill you. Run," was what he told the raven-haired boy before he passed out on the ground. Harry turned around, and there she was, right next to Theodore, the pink and lace alone making Harry's eyes hurt. That stupid, evil toad was back.

"Ah, Harry. I see you got Mr. Nott's note."

"Note? What note?" Hermione slowly reached into her pocket, and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. Sh handed it to Harry, and he quickly read through it.

Harry,

If you ever wish to see Draco again, come to the Shrieking Shack, unarmed and alone, in the next twenty-four hours. A friend of mine has unfinished business with you, as do I. And don't expect to come back alive either. The longer you wait, the longer your stupid Slytherin boyfriend gets hurt. Don't show, and he dies.

-Theodore Nott

"You had this the entire time, Hermione!"

"Well, yes, but you have to understand that I tried to stop you from coming, you just wouldn't listen!"

"I'm not mad about that. But you let everyone else come too, putting the rest of you in danger. I could have just gone alone, and you'd all be safe."

"But you'd be dead, Harry! Is that what you want? Don't act like you'd have wanted that instead of a little extra help from us all."

"I would have. I don't bloody care what happens to me! It's you, and Ron, and Blaise, and Pansy, and Draco."

"He-hem." The two turned to face Umbridge, disgust on both of their faces. "Since Mr. Potter has failed to meet the requirements of our meeting, I'm afraid-"

"Oh shut up, you old toad," Ron yelled.

"Stupefy!" Theo yelled, pointing his wand at Ron.

"Protego!" Harry said, blocking the spell. And that had started the duel. Spell after spell was cast, some hitting the targets, some missing, some blocked. There was no serious harm done, not until Theo said those two awful words, and the green light shot form his wand. 

Harry was to busy throwing a hex at Umbridge to notice it. But Ron did, he saw it.

"Harry!" This got his attention, and he looked up to see the flash of green headed his way. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, he just stared at it. That is, until he felt himself get shoved, and he fell to the ground. Harry looked up just in time to watch the Unforgivable hit Ron square in the chest. 

Ron took his last breath, and with that, he was gone. He fell to the floor carelessly, landing in a position that couldn't have been comfortable. But it didn't matter, did it? Because he was dead, he couldn't feel pain anymore. But it didn't feel like he was dead. It felt like he would get back up, and start laughing with Harry about the dumbest things. Because he wasn't dead, he couldn't be.

A crack, and Theo and Umbridge were gone, leaving the others alone in the shack. Hermione broke down in tears, clutching Pansy like her life depended on it. Pansy didn't know Ron well enough, but she couldn't help but shed a tear or two herself. Blaise just stared, as well as Harry.

It was his fault, he knew it was. If he'd just seen it sooner, or moved out of the way, he could have saved him. Or if he'd just died instead of Ron. Ron had too many people who cared about him. Molly, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, George, Ginny, Hermione, Harry, Blaise, maybe even Percy and Pansy. It was unfair, and cruel, and it hurt too much to even bare. Because this time, unlike all the others, it was directly Harry's fault. 

Ronald Bilius Weasley was dead, and it was all Harry's fault.


	32. Stupid Decisions

Harry used to think he was broken. But that was no longer fitting, in his eyes. Broken was fixable. Harry was beyond fixable, he was far beyond broken. He was shattered.

No one could believe it. Ron, who could always put a smile on your face, who would shove food into his mouth like he would never eat again, was dead. Harry couldn't take it anymore. He bolted out of the room before anyone could stop him, just wanting to escape it all. But no matter what he did, all he could see was that body, lying on the ground...suddenly he just broke down, right there in the passageway. His knees buckled, and he cried helplessly on the floor, because his best mate, his brother, the first friend he'd ever had, was gone.

After bawling for about five more minutes, Harry collected himself, stood up, and continued on his way out of the passage. When he reached the tree, he didn't even try to suspend the tree. Miraculously, he wasn't hit, though Harry didn't notice. It was like his body, emotions and all, had shut off completely. He walked into the Forbidden Forest, not really sure where he was headed, just letting his legs take him wherever. 

Eventually his legs came to a stop, and he looked up from the ground. The place was all too familiar, for he had died here not even a year ago. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to die here again.

\-----------------------------------

Hermione watched as Harry ran out, still wrapped in Pansy's arms. It was torture, every minute that passed by. Ron was dead, Harry was probably going to do something stupid, and Blaise hadn't moved an inch. Not to mention the unconscious body on the ground that still needed to be dealt with. So, that being said, Hermione removed herself from Pansy's arms, and walked over to the blond. After a few spells, his eyes slowly opened. She carefully sat him up, conjuring a glass of water and handing it to him.

"Where's Harry?" Draco asked in a hoarse voice, ignoring the glass in his hand.

"He took off," Pansy said quietly, walking up to her friend.

"But why would he..." His voice trailed off as his eyes wandered to the unmoving body on the ground, and he inhaled sharply. "Is he..." Hermione nodded sadly, and Pansy once again encased the girl in her arms.

Draco felt he wasn't allowed to be upset, since he'd hardly known the redhead. For years he'd made fun of the Gryffindor, all because he was poor, and didn't have everything he had. He'd called him names, ridiculed him countless times, and after all that Ron had still found it in himself to forgive the other. Draco really hadn't deserved the friendship, or anyone's for that matter. Because when had he ever been pleasant to be around? He'd tried to change, tried to fix his mistakes, but who was he kidding? People can't change that much, and Draco was no exception. Here he was right now, making everything about himself like always.

A million feelings were swirling around in the ferret's chest, and he just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe Harry had the right idea running out. So he got to his feet, a little shaky at first, and sprinted out as well, staggering a bit as he went. Pansy wanted to go after him, but Hermione rested a hand on her shoulder and shook her head.

"Let him go, he needs some time to himself right now. Besides, I need your help carrying Ron back to the school." Pansy sighed, and turned around. Blaise still hadn't moved, his eyes trained on the body beneath him. She walked to her friend, and put an arm around his shoulder. He was unbelievably tense, but he did turn his head to look at Pansy.

"Come on Blaise, we have to go back to the castle now," Pansy said, her voice sweet and soft. He nodded, and Pansy pulled out her wand. She cast a spell to make Ron's body lighter, then cast another one to lift him up. Hermione did the same, and the three set off.

\--------------------------------

Draco got a bit lost before he found his way to the trapdoor. He opened it and went through the underground tunnel that he vaguely remembered from earlier. As he was walking, he noticed something silver lying on the ground. He poked it. It was silky, but also soft. Draco picked it up, recognizing it as Harry's invisibility cloak. 

Another ten minutes passed before he could finally see the daylight again. Casting a quick spell to immobilize the tree, he walked forward, getting just out of reach of the tree's wrath before the spell broke and the branches began thrashing around. He continued walking back to the castle, thinking of possibly finding Harry to give him his cloak, maybe comfort him. Well, that was before he saw a path of reckless destruction heading towards the Forbidden Forest. 

Figuring it could only be Harry, he followed the trail. He didn't have to walk long, maybe a minute or two, before the dork with the glasses came into view, his wand in his hand. His eyes were red and puffy, and his cheeks were stained from the tears. Draco watched curiously from a distance as Harry raised the wand. Then he noticed that the wand was facing the wrong direction, the tip pointing towards Harry. Draco frowned, about to point it out to him, when Harry started saying a spell.

"Avada Ke-"

"HARRY!" Draco ran forward, snatching Harry's wand out of his hands, which Draco noticed were shaking. He grabbed the boy's hand, which were drenched in a cold sweat, though he didn't care. 

"Dr-draco?" His eyes were wild, lost. They frantically looked around everywhere, moving so fast it made Draco's head hurt a bit. Finally they landed on Draco, and stayed there.

"What were you thinking?" Draco pulled the smaller boy into a hug, and he hugged Harry tighter than he'd ever hugged anyone in his entire life.

"It's not right. Ron died, and it was my fault, and he should be alive right now, and I should be the one who's lying on the ground in the Shrieking Shack," Harry mumbled into Draco's shoulder.

"Harry, you more than anyone deserves to live right now. Your childhood was so messed up, at least let yourself be happy now."

"But I was happy then. I was carefree and stupid and happy, and I hate that me. I hate the old me, the current me, and even the future me. Because I'll still be destructive, and everyone that I grow too close to will die. So no Draco, I really don't think I deserve to live right now. And by the way, I really like you, so we can't be friends anymore, or you'll die too." Draco froze. Did he mean like like, or like like? 

He pulled back, keeping his hands on Harry's shoulders, studying the boys face carefully. "What do you mean you like me? Expand on that, please." Harry gulped.

"I said that? Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry. I mean, your obviously straight, and I-"

"Excuse me! Obviously straight! I'll have you know that I am very much gay, thank you very much. I am also deeply offended."

"Sorry, I-wait, what do you mean your gay?"

"I mean that I don't like girls, and that I fancy Harry bloody Potter."

"But...that's me?"

"So? Is that a problem?"

"No. Wait, yes. Well...it could go both ways."

"Why's that?"

"Because Harry bloody Potter fancies you too, but he's a very destructive person."

"Well, I don't care. Now come on, we're going back to the castle. And you are not getting this," He held up Harry's wand, "for a very long time with the way your using it. And you aren't allowed anywhere near the Astronomy tower, and, just for good measure, you aren't even allowed out of my sight."

Harry couldn't help but smile, despite all that's happened in the last couple hours. Draco laced Harry's fingers with his, and they walked hand in hand back to the school.


	33. Tears and Kisses

Hermione trudged back to the castle along with the others, willing herself not to cry. She'd never truly lost someone this close to her before, and it was horrible. Honestly, she didn't know how Harry did it all of the time. 

She tried not to think of what would happen once they got back. Just trying to imagine the looks on all of the Weasley's faces, and after they'd just lost Fred. Hermione now had tears running down her cheeks that Pansy and Blaise chose not to point out. It hurt Pansy seeing Hermione this way, but she knew it was nothing to the pain her girlfriend must be feeling.

They reached the doors far too fast for Hermione's liking, and she dreaded actually stepping in. Most would be at lunch now, and she didn't really want to make a scene and announce it to the whole school. So they didn't go to the Great Hall. Instead they went to the hospital wing, though they knew nothing could be done. 

Madame Pomfrey looked up from a hospital bed with a student on it when the door opened. When Hermione, Pansy, and Blaise walked in levitating an unconscious Ron, she immediately rushed over.

"What happened, is he alright?" Of course, they all looked a bit beaten up, but the rest were all conscious. A sob escaped Hermione's mouth as she desperately tried to keep herself together. Madame Pomfrey's mood darkened considerably as realization dawned on her. "There's nothing I can do if he's already..." 

"We know, but he needs to stay somewhere while word gets out. Can we just notify the staff, family, and close friends first. I don't think we need the whole school talking about it right now," Pansy said, a pleading look in her eyes. Madame Pomfrey nodded, and led him over to a hospital bed, which coincidentally happened to be the same one he'd occupied near the end of third year. Hermione tried not to think about it.

"Who in particular do you want notified?" This time it was Hermione who spoke up, in a small, broken voice.

"The Weasley family, all of the professors, Dean and Seamus, Luna, and Neville. I can send word to the Weasley's and friends if you wish, might be a bit easier. And could you just tell all the teachers to come here as soon as lunch ends?" 

Madame Pomfrey nodded again, and hesitated, before asking, "How did this happen?"

"I'd rather say when everyone is present, so that I don't have to repeat myself." She then walked out to find Ginny and the others to bring them to the Hospital Wing.

\-------------------------------

Harry and Draco walked in peace for a few moments, before Harry abruptly pulled his hand away. He started pacing, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes, muttering meaningless words. "...so stupid...never work out...be dead by tomorrow...right after Ron...bloody selfish..."

Draco watched this go on for about a minute before he decided to do something about it. Grabbing the other boy shoulder and turning him so that they were facing one another, he leaned forward and kissed the boy. It only lasted a second or two, and it definitely wasn't perfect, but neither were they. Harry stood, in a slight daze, after Draco had pulled away, his mouth open slightly in shock. Draco started panicking, internally scolding himself for not even asking if it was alright. He didn't notice that Harry wasn't really upset. His cheeks growing pink, Harry pulled the boy into another kiss without thinking, this one longer.

It was different, nothing Harry had ever experienced before with Cho or Ginny. He didn't know if it was because it was a boy he was kissing, or because it was Draco he was kissing. The kiss was soft, sweet, everything Harry needed in that moment. He forgot about Ron, forgot about the world. In that moment, it was just Draco and him, nothing else. Of course, that was all ruined as soon as Harry pulled back, instantly feeling guilty again.

The whole world was against Harry Potter's happiness, it seemed, everything good always coming to an end. Harry knew he couldn't be with Draco, it would hurt to much when it was over, or Draco died. Because Harry knew it would happen, eventually, and it would hurt a million times worse than it would right now. He could just walk away, forget about him, move to America or something. But he couldn't, he just couldn't do that. As much as he wanted to, disappearing and starting a new life just wasn't an option.

Thoughts and emotions flooded Harry's mind until it became to much to bear, and he did the most sensible thing he could think of at the time. He ran away. All the way back to the castle, through the doors, and up to the eighth year dorms. He ran into his room, slamming the door as he collapsed on the ground, worn out from the running and, well, everything.

Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder, startling Harry. He looked up to see Neville, the worry on his face only growing. Why wasn't he at lunch?

"Harry, have you been crying?" Harry stilled, willing the tears already welling up in his eyes back down.

"It's Ron," he choked out. Reluctantly, tears started to escape, falling on his hands as he stared at his blurry lap.

"What happened to him? Is he alright?"

"No Neville, he...he's dead," Harry managed to say, and he felt the hand on the shoulder tense.

"But I saw him just this morning, and he didn't seem ill or-"

"Theo used the killing curse on him. It was supposed to hit me." And this was when he finally broke, allowing the tears to fall, full on sobbing. Neville panicked, he'd never been good at comforting people. He ran out of the room and down the hall a ways, knowing Dean and Seamus had skipped lunch as well.

He burst into the room, and the two broke apart quickly, turning with annoyed looks to see who had interrupted their snogging session.

"Neville, we were a bit busy, if you don't mind," Seamus said, crossing his arms and staring at Dean's swollen lips. 

"It's Harry, I need your help! Ron's dead, and I don't know what to do with Harry!" The two boys stared at him. It was then that they could hear the distant sobs, and they knew he wasn't kidding around. 

Rushing out, the two ran into Harry and Neville's room, and sure enough, Harry was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees as he cried into his arms. Dean bent down, putting an arm around Harry's shoulder, and Harry shifted, crying into the boy's chest. Neville let a single tear slip, silently mourning the loss of his friend. Although he didn't cry, Seamus had lost the cheeriness in himself, suddenly feeling put out. 

It was then that the door opened, and Draco walked straight to Harry, sitting down next to him. Taking him from Dean, Draco set Harry down in his lap, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist. Harry cried into the crook of the blond's neck, his throat burning. He couldn't stop though, as much as he tried. It was as if a dam had finally broke.


	34. The Weasley's

Hermione slowly made her way into the Great Hall, and she briefly wished Pansy was with her as she felt every eye on her. Of course everyone was watching her, her clothes were wrinkled, dirty, and torn. She had a slight limp that she'd been trying to hide before, and there were twigs sticking out of her hair.

Ignoring them all best she could, Hermione strolled over to the Gryffindor table. Oddly, Dean, Seamus, and Neville were all missing. Never mind that, she'd check the dorms later. She walked up to Ginny, and, keeping her voice as steady as she could manage, said, "Get Luna and bring her up to the Hospital Wing with you. Wait outside the doors, and do not enter until I'm back."

Ginny nodded carefully, getting up to retrieve Luna. Hermione retreated back out the doors. Pulling out her wand, she sent a Patronus to all the Weasley's saying similar things. She then set off to the eighth year dorms, feeling quite alone.

\--------------------------------

Each second hurt worse than the last, and it was too hard to believe the redhead was really gone. Harry's throat burned from crying so much, his cheeks stung from the salty tears.

Life was stupid. Living just to die in the end. Dying to cause pain to the living. It was an endless cycle of pain, just as it always had been. 

For years, Harry could shove his emotions off to the side, as he was always busy. There was always something to be solved, something that wanted to kill him, murderous lunatics to stop. Always something to keep him busy. But now he didn't have that. So yes, he cried about Ron's passing. But he also let out everything he'd been bottling up for so long. He cried for his parents, and Remus and Sirius. He cried for Fred and Ron, and even Colin. Because he missed the boy, who really wasn't so bad. And Harry still couldn't get that look that Dennis gave him out of his head. 

He missed Lavender, and how she really was a sweet girl, despite the whole mess with Ron in sixth year. He missed Snape, though he really didn't know why, he just kinda missed him. He missed Tonks, and her clumsiness. Harry missed Dumbledore, because Hogwarts just wasn't the same anymore. Harry missed Hedwig, who had kept him company at the Dursley's during his summers there. Harry even missed Voldemort, because he'd become kind of a constant in the boy's life. 

So yes, he cried a lot that day. But you couldn't blame him, he bloody well deserved to be crying. So no one stopped him, and Harry probably could have filled an entire swimming pool with his tears. But eventually, he stopped. Not because he was done crying, he was simply exhausted. So the tears subsided, replaced with soft snores, head resting on Draco's chest.

Harry needed the sleep, but he awoke just five minutes later when there was a knock at the door. His eyes shot open, and he fell out of Draco's lap. So when Neville opened the door, Hermione found him lying awkwardly on the floor, rubbing his head a bit. She noticed the puffy and bloodshot eyes, but chose not to say anything about them. She instead turned her attention to the others.

"I presume Harry told you all what happened." They nodded. "He's in the Hospital Wing, and I'm headed there now. Would any of you like to come?" Dean and Seamus walked over to her, Neville following. Harry didn't move, except to sit up. Draco decided to stay with Harry, in case he tried anything again. Hermione stayed just a bit longer, hoping Harry would change his mind. "The Weasley's will be there, I'm sure they'd like to see you." This seemed to make things worse, so she gave up, and the four left.

Harry could feel his eyes start to water again, though he hated crying in front of people. He wished Draco had gone with the others, but it was also kinda nice having him here. He sat against the edge of the bed, bringing his knees up and closing his eyes. Draco did the same, sitting right next to the boy, because right now, just being in each other's presence was enough.

\-----------------------------------

The four made their way to the Hospital Wing, where all the Weasley's except for Charlie were there, along with Luna. Hermione hated this, she hated being the one to tell them. Fred had died a few months ago, and now they were losing Ron. It just didn't seem fair.

"What's this about Hermione?" Bill asked, holding a small child in one arm, the other draped around Fleur's shoulders. She looked at him a moment, then the others, staring at each of them individually.

"Where are Harry and Ron?" Ginny asked. Hermione took shuddering breaths, clenching her fists. 

"Ron's in the Hospital Wing right now, and Harry...he's in his room."

"Did they have a fight or something?"

"N-no, it's not like that. You see, Ron...he's..." Her voice was unsteady, and she just couldn't say it. She motioned for them to go in as she sank to her knees. She hated how weak and vulnerable she looked. When Molly opened the door and saw Ron, she immediately rushed over to him, the rest following. Pansy looked up from where she was seated with Blaise, and her eyes locked on Hermione. She stood up and walked over to her, helping her up. Hermione took shaky steps into the room, her eyes never leaving Ron's body. He was pale now, very pale. As she reached his bed, she lightly held his hand in hers. His fingers were cold and stiff.

"Is he sleeping?" Arthur asked, though he knew he wasn't. George was looking at Ron, his breaths becoming quick and shallow. Ginny stared with wide eyes, before nodding and grasping Luna's hand tightly, eyes shut tight. Luna dropped her head down, shedding a few quiet tears, while Molly cried into her husband's shoulder. Bill started trembling, nearly dropping the baby. Fleur silently took her child from him, placing a light kiss on his cheek. Percy had to look away, as he tried not to think about the memories of him and his brother flooding his head.

Dean, Seamus, and Neville already knew, but it was a thousand times worse actually seeing him. Dean couldn't look away, no matter how much it hurt. Seamus put a hand on his shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. Dean broke his gaze for a moment to look at his boyfriend, noticing the tears falling slowly and silently. He felt guilty for not crying, not mourning his friend as he was supposed to. He wondered if people would think he didn't care. Neville retched onto the floor, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Molly broke away from her husband, turning to Hermione. "Is he okay?" Hermione was confused for a moment, before she realized she didn't mean Ron. Hermione didn't know how to answer, so she turned to the three boys that had been with him longer. Dean shook his head, and Hermione repeated the action to Mrs. Weasley. 

Mrs. Weasley nodded, then looked at her family, before her eyes found Hermione again. "We want to see him."


	35. Redheads and More Tears

"I'm sorry." Harry lifted his head up, and turned to look at the blond.

"What for?" 

"I kissed you right after your best friend died."

"I kissed you back though, then I kissed you again." Harry had undoubtedly felt guilty about it. He didn't deserve happiness, no matter what people kept telling him. He was too horrible for happiness, the kiss had only confirmed his selfishness. Because what decent person is happy just about an hour after their brother died? It still felt a bit weird calling him that, though Harry supposed he wouldn't need to anymore.

"Well, yes but-" They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Draco looked at Harry as if to ask permission to open it. Harry really didn't want visitors right now. He looked and felt much too awful for it. So he gave a weak shake of his head, and Draco nodded, getting up. He walked to the door, opening it slowly.

"Is Harry here?" The bundle of red hair made it far too obvious who these people were, though there were people Draco'd never seen. He saw Fleur too, which was a bit odd, but he didn't say anything about it. 

"He's not really seeing anybody right now."

"Oh come on Malfoy, we're his family. And you're there," Ginny said, peering behind Draco's shoulder for a glimpse of the boy.

Draco hesitated, then looked back at Harry. Harry, looking defeated, sighed and nodded his head. He opened the door wider, letting them all in, and Merlin, there were a lot of them. Hermione was also with them, but the three boys had not come with them. Taking this as a family matter, Draco debated leaving them alone. It wasn't as if the Weasley's enjoyed his presence anyway. He could only begin to imagine the things Ron and Ginny had said about him.

Draco was just about out the door, when Ginny stopped him. "Where do you think you're going?" 

"Out in the hall," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you get back in here right now, or so help me, I will hex your bollocks off!" Draco walked back in, quite honestly scared. He'd seen the girl in action before, and she'd been a fourth year then. He shivered, not even wanting to think of what she could do now. Closing the door behind him, he shuffled to the corner of the room. When he looked up again, practically everyone's eyes were on him, except for Harry, who had taken to dropping his head onto his knees once again. He shifted uncomfortably under everyone's gaze, wishing he could disappear. It wasn't a bad idea, and Harry's cloak was right next to his feet. So he grabbed it, and threw it over himself, not caring how stupid he must have looked.

And then there was a soft chuckle, and Draco looked for who it was under the cloak. His eyes locked on George, who had his head down slightly, but Draco was positive it was him. And then the other's noticed, and suddenly Ginny was screaming at him again.

"Malfoy, you take that cloak off right now!" He did, and then she was hugging him. "Thank you," she whispered, confusing him. 

"I didn't do anything," he said slowly, choosing his words carefully.

"You made him laugh." The answer wasn't enough to diminish his confusion, but he didn't press any further. Everyone watched the scene play out, George now embarrassed and red in the face. 

Draco looked over to Harry, who hadn't even acknowledged the others in the room, not that they had spoken to him yet. Ginny broke off from him, and he made his way back over to Harry. Sitting down in the spot he'd been in before, he could hear the uneven breaths coming from the boy next to him.

He scooted closer, so that their arms and legs were touching. The breathing stopped, and Draco could feel Harry tense up even more, before relaxing slowly and breathing again, this time much more evenly. 

Slowly, Harry lifted his head up to look at everyone. Bad idea, because he could very clearly see the state they were all in. Harry choked on a sob, knowing he'd done this to them all. It would have been a thousand times easier for everyone, if he'd taken the curse like he was supposed to. 

"It wasn't your fault, Harry," Draco whispered so only he could hear. How did this boy always know what he was thinking?

"You didn't see it happen. You weren't...you weren't...it really was me this time, Draco." And Harry didn't even know he had it in him, but he started crying again. He just wanted everyone to leave. He wanted the pitiful looks to go away, and he wanted people to stop telling him it was going to be okay, that he was going to be okay. Because couldn't they see that he wasn't, and that he'd never be.

Everyone just watched him cry, and he hated it. He fully regretted letting them all in. He regretted letting the others go with him to the Shrieking Shack. He regretted being born, for Merlin's sake!

Harry hated that everything was about him right now, when it so obviously should be about Ron. Couldn't they all see that he just didn't matter, especially right now. Ron was the one who had died, and yet everything was still circling around Harry. Why had the Weasley's even come?

Draco looked up at everyone else. He didn't want to tell them to leave, but he knew Harry didn't want them to stay. Molly seemed to understand, because she ushered everyone out. They hadn't even spoken to him, but she didn't care. Once they'd all gone, Mrs. Weasley turned back around.

"You take care of him, alright dearie? Draco nodded, and she smiled at him. "See you at Christmas, Harry." And Harry didn't have the heart to tell them that they probably wouldn't see him, and then she was gone, along with everyone else. 

Harry couldn't take it anymore. He stood up, and just started throwing things. It was similar to what he'd done after Sirius's death, in Dumbledore's office. Draco watched as Harry made a mess of his room, not stopping him. He ducked as a book can his way, then cast a small shield around him. After a little while, when Harry was worn out and his room was a mess, Draco took the shield down. He placed Harry into his bed, then went around picking things up and repairing things that had broken. He was exhausted too, and still in a bit of pain from earlier, but he wasn't just going to steal Neville's bed. He considered leaving, but quickly shut that thought down. So he walked over to the couch, and fell asleep almost instantly.


	36. Gone Mad

It had been a rough few weeks. After the rest of school had heard Ron's passing, everyone had been in a bit of a slump. Some got over it quickly, the ones who didn't know him well, or hadn't known him at all. For others, it took a little longer. But then there were the friends and family. 

Harry hadn't left his room since. Not for classes, not for meals, not to watch the Quidditch practices that Ginny had invited him to. It was as if he didn't even exist anymore. The only people who ever saw him anymore were Ginny, Hermione, Draco, and of course Neville, since they did share a room.

Hermione tried to get Harry to leave his room all throughout the first week, but eventually gave up. She dropped off notes everyday, and they would silently do their work together, Draco often joining. She rarely took breaks, always working on something. She couldn't, she wouldn't stop, because if she did, she'd feel it all again. 

Ginny still couldn't wrap her finger around it. She always half-expected to see Ron every time she turned a corner, or during meals. Ginny had only cried once though, and even that was unexpected, because she hadn't cried in years. But Ginny was doing better than some of the others, because she had Luna. Luna, who looked for the good in every situation, who always had the strangest, yet best things to say. So Ginny looked for the happiness, trying to see things as Luna did.

Blaise was trying, he really was. But every time he looked over, he saw the empty bed. He tried to ignore the movie projector that was still set up in the room. He tried not to think about the fact that they never did get to go to Hogsmeade together, or the horrible nickname the ginger had given him. He was trying.

Pansy rarely saw Draco anymore. She spent her time comforting Blaise and Hermione, for her time for mourning was gone. She hadn't spoken to Ron very much, but she had considered him a friend. He'd been great about her getting together with Hermione, and even found someone else for himself. 

Draco spent nearly any free time he had with Harry. It was difficult, seeing someone he cared for so deeply this way. He tried to help in any way he could, but there really wasn't much he could do. He had moved back into his old room, since Theo hadn't returned, which was probably a good thing. If Draco ever saw that git again, he would Avada Kedavra the living daylights out of him. 

\-------------------------------

Christmas holiday was approaching quickly, and Harry knew he was expected to go to the Weasley's. He couldn't though, he still felt guilty, no matter what everyone else told him. He knew it was his fault, and he relived it every night. The same dream, or rather memory, plagued him every night. Every time he fell asleep, though he tried not too, he would have to see Ron die all over again.

It was a relief when he got the letter from Teddy's grandmother. It was a relief when Draco invited him to stay for the holidays. Between the two, it would take up nearly the entire holiday, and he wouldn't need to come up with a dumb excuse for why he couldn't stay with the Weasley's.

Hermione would be going to Rome with her parents for a week, then she would spend Christmas all over. Her parents were coming with her to Pansy's, where they would likely be for most of the day. Then she'd be at the Weasley's for Christmas dinner, along with Pansy.

\--------------------------------

Hermione stood up from the bed, brushing her robes off, then closing her trunk. She was leaving tomorrow, and had just finished packing her trunk. Using her wand to shrink the bulky chest, Hermione slipped it into her pocket, walking out of her room and into the common room. Pansy, Blaise, and Ginny were all there, chatting away. Ginny and Blaise had started talking at the funeral, and had quickly become good friends, though it came as a surprise to them both. 

"Where's Luna?" Hermione asked, scanning the common room for the familiar blonde who had been present just twenty minutes ago when Hermione had first left to pack.

"She's with Harry right now." Hermione raised an eyebrow, but said nothing else. She was about to ask Pansy if she wanted to head off to the library before she left, when the portrait door swung open, Draco rushing through it carrying a newspaper in his hands. He didn't normally read the Daily Prophet, since it was usually full of rubbish. But when he'd seen the headline, he'd quickly snatched the paper out of the hands of a second year, promising to return it as he ran off.

"Look at this," the blond said, setting it on the table as he hunched over and tried to catch his breath. Hermione picked it up, eyes widening as she read the title, a sound somewhere in between relief and shock escaping her. She continued reading, her eyes skimming the article.

_**DOLORES UMBRIDGE, GONE MAD?** _

_Has Dolores Umbridge, former worker at the Ministry, gone mad? The woman, who was recently found dead next to a boy who was later identified as Theodore Nott. Rumors have said that while in a state of excessive mania, she killed the boy, then herself. No one knows for sure why she would have done this, or if this was even the case itself._

_At the scene of the deaths, a wand, later confirmed to be Mr. Notts, was found snapped in half in the hands of Dolores. The last spell Ms. Umbrigde's wand was, indeed, the Killing Curse. After both bodies had been examined by healers for any magical traces of recent spells, multiple were found. Theodore's had the Imperius Curse, multiple Cruciatus curses, the Shielding Charm, an Expelliarmus, and the Killing Curse. Dolores had multiple stinging hexes, a Knockback Jinx, and the Killing Curse._

_"She never did seem the same after leaving her temporary teaching job at Hogwarts," said Nelly Florback, an old friend of Ms. Umbrigde. "She became obsessed with one student in particular, always threatening she would kill him, though I always believed her to be joking. When she was promoted to Head of the Muggle-Born Registration Commission, she was always swarmed with dementors. Something in her snapped, I'm assuming. Dolores began wearing the odd locket, and she began practicing dark magic."_

_Possibly, it could have been the dementors that had made her this insane. The Hogwarts student she was seemingly obsessed with could only be Mr. Theodore Nott himself, and she had indeed killed him. However, another incident had occurred at Hogwarts just hours before the two were found, and although the school tried to keep the incident hushed, word eventually got around. Ronald Weasley, best friend to Harry Potter, had died on that very same day. Witnesses were present, but the Headmaster had refused for any of them to be interviewed. So we can only wonder if these events were connected somehow._

Hermione set down the paper, mouth agape and eyes wide. Umbridge and Nott were dead? Had Theo really been controlled the entire time he was doing those horrid things? Was Umbridge really mental? This article raised hundreds of questions, all making Hermione's head spin. By now Pansy, Blaise, and Ginny had all read the article, too. 

They didn't have time to discuss it though, for Hermione was going to miss the flight to Rome if she didn't apparate to the airport soon, and she still had to make the walk to Hogsmeade for that. With a final goodbye to the others, Hermione walked away. Draco left soon after to return the paper as he'd promised.


	37. Food Fights

The three Slytherins and Ginny talked, Draco glancing towards Harry's door every once in a while. Okay, so maybe it was every ten seconds, but at least he was being discreet!

"Draco, would you quit looking over to Harry's room every five seconds?" Maybe he wasn't being as discreet as he thought. 

"Shut up, Pansy." She rolled her eyes at him.

"That's the best you've got. _Shut up, Pansy_ ," she mimicked, making her voice high-pitched and squeaky.

"I do not sound like that!" Pansy giggled. It was quite funny, watching Draco get so angry.

"Whatever lover boy, just go to him, or quite staring longingly at his door. People will start thinking you're in love with it or something." Draco scowled, then stood up. He hesitated, before walking up to the door. He was about to open it when Luna beat him to it on the other side. He jumped back, giving a small yelp.

"Hello, Draco. I was just leaving."

"Good day to you, Lovegood. I'll just be on my way then." 

"Oh no, do stay. Harry absolutely _adores_ your company, and you're rather good for him. And do call me Luna." He nodded, and she left, leaving Draco standing in the door frame, unsure of what to do.

"Well, are you coming in?" Draco's head turned towards the soft voice, and a smile was quickly forming on his face. He walked in, and shut the door behind him.

"How was it with Lovegood?"

"Quite nice, to be honest. It was refreshing to see a new face. And didn't she just tell you to call her Luna?"

"Yes, I suppose she did. Have you eaten today?" Despite everything that had been going on, Harry had continued eating, and could eat a lot more now. It was still considerably less than what would be considered an average meal, but he was getting better.

"Not yet, want to take a stroll to the kitchen with me?" Draco was shocked, to say the least. What had Luna done to convince him to leave?

"Um, yeah. Sure, let's go." He turned around, walking back to the door, stumbling over a leg of the coffee table. Draco flushed, embarrassed, and Harry gave a small, amused smile.

"Let me grab my cloak," he said, turning to rummage through his trunk.

"Wait, why?" Harry grabbed it from where it was carefully hidden underneath a pile of junk.

"What do you think?" he said, throwing the cloak over his body, seemingly vanishing. "If I just walk out of here after weeks, it'd be hours before we even left the common room." Draco nodded in agreement, and then opened the door to leave. Once he was sure Harry had followed, he softly closed it behind him.

"You missed Hermione, by the way. She left about a half an hour ago," the blond muttered as they walked down the hall. Harry was silent, and he couldn't tell if he was upset, or if it was because they were getting closer to other people.

"Back already, Malfoy?" Ginny asked, raising an eyebrow. Everyone else dropped their conversation to look at him, though Luna seemed to be looking next to him rather than at him.

"Harry wanted to be alone for a little while. I think I'm going to go for a walk, I'll see you guys later." And with that he walked out of the portrait door, sighing in relief as he leaned against a wall. Not even seconds later he felt something tugging on his hand, dragging him forward. He freaked for a second, and, remembering it was Harry, let him drag him up to the kitchens.

When they got to the portrait, Draco tickled the pear, and they walked in. Harry removed the cloak, and Draco stared at him. Not for any particular reason, just to stare at him. Harry was saying something, but Draco couldn't hear him. How had he never realized Harry was _this_ beautiful? And then Harry looked up, and met his eyes, and they were _so green_. Draco forgot how to breathe, and all he could do was look into the emerald eyes, and Merlin, he was in love. It wasn't just some silly crush anymore. He was officially in love with Harry Potter.

"Draco, are you alright?"

"I-I...let's just go eat." Harry shrugged, and called for a house-elf.

"Kreacher!" And then there was a house-elf in front of them. 

"Master Harry, what can Kreacher do for you?"

"Um, we'd like some lunch, if you don't mind."

"Of course, Master. Kreacher is happy to serve you and your friend." He disappeared, and was back just seconds later with food in his hands. Harry walked over to a table in the back of the room, Draco following. They sat down, and Kreacher set the food on the table, then left.

"I didn't know you had a house-elf," Draco said as he got a plate for himself.

"He was Sirius's, before I got him. Oh, he was dreadful, but I wasn't allowed to set him free, he knew too much. Turns out, all I had to do was give him a fake horcrux for him to start being decent." Draco nodded, and the two began their meals. Harry had finished before Draco, and started making a mini snowman out of mashed potatoes.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked, his eyes glinting with curiosity.

"Making a snowman."

"What are you, five? And I'm pretty sure it would be a potato man, since he's not made of snow."

"Sod off, let me make my snowman."

" _Potato_ man," Draco corrected. Harry rolled his eyes, and went to start on the head. When he was finished, Harry admired his work proudly. Draco looked up, and stared at it, before saying, "That looks dreadful, the head's not even on straight."

"Like you could do any better."

"Watch me." And then Draco was making a potato man of his own, which was indeed much better than Harry's. Harry thought so too, though he would never admit it. "See, it's loads better." Harry looked at it, then took his fork, and ate half of it.

"Hey!" So Draco grabbed Harry's potato man, and shoved it in the other boy's face. And then it was war, and food was flying everywhere. House-elves were scrambling to get out of the way, instead cowering in a far corner of the room, huddled together. Draco was covered in all sorts of food, but he couldn't care less. And then he was dumping a pitcher of pumpkin juice on Harry's head, and Harry was laughing again, a sound he hadn't heard in weeks. 

Draco Malfoy was hopelessly in love.


	38. Purple Eyes

Harry fidgeted nervously on the front step. He didn't know why he was so nervous, he'd been here before, and it was just Teddy and Andromeda. He fiddled with the zipper of his jacket, before giving a small knock on the door. He waited. Nothing. He knocked again, this time louder, and the door burst open.

"Harry! Come in, you must be freezing!" He wasn't, but he smiled and walked in regardless. 

"Hello Andromeda, how are you?"

"I'm doing great. Oh, Teddy will be so happy to see you! He's almost nine months old now. He can sit up, and he's even started crawling a bit." Wow, Harry had missed a lot. Would Teddy even remember him, it had been a few months since he saw Harry last.

There was a tug on Harry's pants, and he looked down to see a small boy sucking his thumb and looking up at him with big eyes. Harry laughed and scooped the child up in his arms, causing a small giggle to erupt from the teal haired boy.

"Hey Teddy! How is my favorite godson?" Harry said, tickling the boy's stomach. Andromeda watched the two, a sweet smile on her face. 

"Are you hungry, dear? It must have been a little while since you last ate anything." Harry nodded and followed Teddy's grandmother into the kitchen. She heated up some shepherd's pie, which he took his time eating. 

After Harry had finished eating, Andromeda showed him the room he'd be staying in, and left him for some time to settle in while she set Teddy down for his nap. There wasn't much to be done, and he was quickly done. He wandered around the house a bit, not sure what to do. Eventually he just retreated back to his room, deciding to work on his DADA essay due the Monday they get back. He works for about an hour before there's a knock at the front door.

He can hear the door open, feet shuffling, and muffled voices, but he doesn't bother to go see who it is. It's really none of his business who Andromeda's talking to. Well, he didn't think it was, until there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," Harry says, hesitating only slightly. The door opened, and Draco walked in, looking around the room. Harry's mouth fell open, and he gawked at the blond for a few moments before Draco spoke.

"Nice room," he said after clearing his throat. Harry blinked, shaking his head slightly.

"What are you doing here?" Draco gave him an amused smile.

"What, I can't visit my aunt?" Harry opened his mouth, before closing it again. He'd forgotten they were related, which is strange, because Andromeda really did look a lot like Narcissa. Though, Harry would definitely say she looked the most like Bellatrix. Once, Andromeda had woken Harry from one of his nightmares while he was staying over, and he'd mistaken her for Bellatrix at first, and may or may not have hexed her. Nothing fatal, of course, and he was quickly forgiven, though he still felt guilty about it, even now.

"I suppose you can, yes. You didn't tell me you were coming."

"Well, I didn't know until my mum said we were coming for a quick visit. This is the first time I've met Andromeda, but she seems nice." Harry nodded, before standing up, and motioning for Draco to follow him. They walk down the hall to Teddy's room, and Harry opens the door softly, in case the boy was still sleeping. 

They crept up to the crib, as silent as they could, and Harry peered over the edge. Teddy was still, eyes closed, thumb in his mouth. Harry was about to look away when Teddy's eyes opened, revealing purple irises.

"Purple, huh?" Harry smiles, tickling the small boy under his chin with his finger. Teddy giggled, grabbing Harry's finger and sticking it in his mouth, puffing his cheeks out. "Teddy, that's disgusting! You have no idea where my fingers have been!" Harry pulled his finger out, now wet and covered in saliva, laughing as Teddy started blowing raspberries.

Teddy sat up, squirming and giggling until he saw Draco. He stopped, and stared at the older boy with wide eyes. Draco watched nervously, afraid his cousin, once removed, technically, wouldn't like him. They looked at each other for a while, before Teddy's hair became a platinum blond, and his eyes a stormy grey. Draco's face broke into a grin, and Harry watched the strange yet sweet interaction, before breaking into a fit of coughs. Draco's head snapped towards him instantly, worry etched into his face.

"I'm fine," he said in between coughs. "Just coughing, no big deal." He was feeling a bit dizzy, so he walked slowly into the front room, taking a seat on the couch. Almost instantly he was asleep, snoring softly in a position that couldn't be very comfortable. Draco, who had followed him out, Teddy in his arms, frowned. He shifted Teddy so that he had one arm free, and used his wand to fix Harry so that he was lying flat on his back across the couch.

Andromeda and his mother walked into the room, cups of tea in hand, smiles on their faces. Their eyes fell on Harry, then Draco and Teddy.

"Oh good, he's sleeping again? Before school started, I don't think he got a wink of sleep if he could help it. It was horrible, watching him suffer all alone." Draco looked at her, then back down at Harry.

"Ummm...Andromeda? I don't think he fell asleep intentionally. He sorta just...crashed on the couch after coughing a bunch." Andromeda's smile fell, a troubled expression replacing it. 

"He's running a fever," Narcissa said, gently removing her hand from Harry's forehead. 

"Should we wake him?" Draco asked. A small groan escaped the sleeping boy, his face contorting. It was silent again, before Harry started whimpering and mumbling in his sleep.

"Nightmare," Andromeda said under her breath, though Draco heard. He sighed, and shook Harry's shoulders lightly until he woke. Harry stared blankly at the wall ahead, as the moments passed. Draco didn't have to ask to know Harry had been dreaming about Ron again. Ron _dying_ , more specifically.


	39. Spells and Sleep

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, Draco."

"What happened?" 

"It was nothing, don't worry about it."

"So it must be something then. You can't lie to me, you know." Harry gripped his hair and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I just wore myself out, alright? It means nothing, I'm fine. I'm better already, see." At this Harry tried getting up from the couch, but as soon as he did he began feeling lightheaded again. He saw black for a few seconds, before his sight was returned, revealing a worried Draco right in front of him. Harry hadn't realized until then he'd been steadying himself against the blond.

"Oh yes, _terribly_ better," Draco said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he lowered Harry back onto the couch. "Now tell me what's going on." 

"No." Draco glared at Harry. Teddy started fidgeting in his arms, and Draco almost dropped the boy, who he'd completely forgotten he was holding. Sighing, he turned to go put the baby back to bed. He paused at Teddy's doorway, and, without looking back, said, "This conversation isn't over. We'll talk later." Harry gulped, slouching slightly, and Draco went into Teddy's room, shutting the door behind him.

Harry began muttering under his breath, a scowl plastered on his face. "Tea, darling?" Harry jumped, falling off the couch, landing with a loud thud. He looked up, to see Andromeda with a thoughtful look on her face.

"No thanks."

"You never told me you and Draco were together." She gave a knowing smirk, and Harry felt his cheeks heat up.

"Wh-what? It's not like that, we're just friends." It was the bitter truth, though _maybe_ Harry wanted them to be a bit more. Andromeda raised an eyebrow, and Harry looked away.

"I wasn't aware friends snogged one another." Harry's mouth dropped."

"How do you even _know_ about that? We didn't tell anybody."

A new voice spoke this time. "I'm afraid that's where you're wrong. You see, Draco writes me frequently, quite often about you. Naturally, he wrote about your kiss, and I was the one who told my sister, only moments ago when I heard you were here. It seems I forgot to mention the two of you hadn't made anything official." Draco wrote about him? 

"Oh, well...alright then." Harry sat up, a bit too quickly, earning a headache in return. He slowly got back onto the couch, Narcissa eyeing him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked. Harry nodded, pressing his heels against his eyes as he tried to fight off the fatigue that was rapidly consuming him. It was then that Draco decided to walk back in.

"Teddy's asleep." He said, looking at Harry, frowning. 

"Thank you, Draco," Andromeda said. The blond nodded in response, still watching Harry.

"I think we'll be off to the kitchen now," Narcissa said, motioning for her sister to follow her. They left, leaving the two boys alone. Draco took a seat next to Harry, who hadn't so much as looked up yet. 

"Will you just tell me what's wrong with you? You never tell me stuff like this."

"I never tell anybody stuff like this," a muffled voice replied. Draco sighed, staring helplessly at Harry.

"Then you can start with me."

"It's not even that big of a deal, you're just turning it in to one," Harry said, finally looking up, but not at Draco.

"If it's not a big deal, then why can't you just tell me?" Harry's hands clenched into fists, and he let out a yawn, only making him even more tired then he already was.

"It's nothing, can we just drop it, please?"

"Harry James Potter, if you think I'm just going to give in and...drop this, as you said, then you're dumber than I thought." Harry rolled his eyes, then yawned again.

"If I tell you, you promise not to freak out or anything? Seriously, it's not a big deal."

"Merlin, yes Harry."

"Okay, fine. Remember a few days ago when we went to the kitchens?" Draco nodded. Of course he did, that was the day he...yeah.

"Go on."

"Well, it was earlier that day that I found this spell that could...calm me, in a way. A spell to make me happier, sort of. I'm not really explaining it right, but it doesn't really matter. The point is, that's why I let Luna in, and why I left my room. I've been using it ever since, only taking it off at night."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, the spell works, but it has these side effects. If I have it on for too long, then I'll get dizzy, sometimes a fever. And obviously it's going to drain any energy out of me. I don't know, the spell is just...different, from any one I've used before."

"But why are you using it anyway? No one said you had to be happy, Ron died not even a month ago."

"But everyone was worried, and I felt like...like I couldn't be sad for too long. I didn't want what happened over the summer to happen again. And I didn't want Teddy or Andromeda to see me like that, or your mother for that matter. I couldn't even go visit my own family this Christmas, I already feel dreadful about it, but I just _can't_." Draco stared at him for a long time, at least, for Harry it felt like a long time. In reality, only a few moments passed.

"So...you did it for everyone else. What about you?" 

"What do you mean, what about me?"

"Harry, you need to stop thinking about everyone else for once in your life, and just think about what _you_ want. It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but it's _good_ to be selfish every once in a while. What do _you_ want, Harry?"

"I don't know what I want," Harry whispered, Draco just barely picking up on it.

"Well, you can start with taking the spell off." Harry nodded, and closed his eyes. A moment later, he felt lighter, but still terribly tired.

"It's off," he said in a small voice, as the grief flooded back inside him.

"No wand? You didn't even move your hand or anything."

"Like I said, it's different from any other spell, it can't be done with a wand," he replied with a yawn.

"Maybe you should get some sleep," Draco said tentatively.

"No, I can't. I don't want to see it again. I have to watch it every single time." Harry swallowed, his throat tight.

"I'll wake you if you start having a nightmare, just get some sleep." Harry hesitated, before nodding. He moved to lay down on the couch, before stopping, and looking at Draco, who hadn't moved. He stared at the blond, who raised an eyebrow at him. Harry sighed, rolling his eyes, before resting his head on Draco's lap, and dozing off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween everyone! May James and Lily rest in peace, and may Sir Nicholas have an excellent Deathday!


	40. Christmas

When Harry awoke, Draco was gone, but a sticky note had been placed on his forehead. He took it off, chuckling. 

_Harry,_

_Mother and I had to leave. Hope you slept well, see you in a week._

_-D.M._

Harry stuffed the note into his pockets, and went to his room to draw, before he heard Teddy crying. He stood, and practically ran to the boy's room. Taking Teddy into his arms, he held the child to his chest, rubbing his back until he fell asleep again. Carefully, so not to wake the child again, he set Teddy back into his crib, before turning to walk out. He almost screamed when he saw Andromeda there, a smile on her face.

"Sweet," she said. He gave a small smile back, but the smile was more sad than anything. The two walked out of Teddy's room, and Andromeda led Harry to the couch. "Draco told me everything...just, take it easy, alright? Your best mate just passed away, the world doesn't expect you to be okay right away."

"But they do," Harry whispered. "They always do." Andromeda squeezed his hand, and he took it she heard him, much to his dismay.

The rest of the week went by painfully slowly, and Harry got bored quite often. It seemed like years before Harry was standing out on the front porch, hugging Andromeda goodbye on Christmas morning. He then apparated to the gates just outside of Malfoy Manor, where Draco was waiting for him.

"Hey you," Harry said, making Draco jump, before turning around.

"Hey, Happy Christmas," he said with a smile after he'd calmed down.

"Happy Christmas," Harry grinned. They stood there for a few minutes, Draco staring at Harry with a goofy smile on his face the whole time. Harry cleared his throat after a while, making Draco snap out of his daze. "Um, Draco? Do you mind letting me in?"

"Right, sorry," the blond said, turning red as a cherry. He opened the gate for the Gryffindor, and they walked up to the front door. Draco knocked on the door, and a house-elf wearing a shabby potato sack answered.

"Oh, Master Draco, you is done waiting outside now? Pretzel has been worrying for you, what if yous gets too cold?" Draco gave a warm chuckle, and crouched down on his knees so he was level with the elf.

"I'm alright, Pretzel. There was no need to worry over me."

"But...but..." Pretzel's large eyes filled with tears, and she turned away so her master wouldn't see her so sad. But it was too late, for he had already seen.

"Come here, Pretzel," the blond said softly, holding out his arms. Tentatively, she walked towards him, and he carefully wrapped his arms around the small creature. He held her while Harry watched, and _maybe_ fell a bit in love with him right then. "Would you like to meet my friend?" Draco asked, pulling away slightly. Pretzel nodded timidly, and she took small steps towards Harry.

"Hello. Yous is a friend of Master Draco?" Harry nodded.

"I am. My name's Harry." Pretzel's eyes lit up, and Draco cursed under his breath.

"Harry Potter, sir?"

"That's me."

"Master Draco told Pretzel all about Harry Potter. He saids yous has the prettiest green eyes, and that yous were very good on yous broomstick." Harry smirked, glancing at Draco.

"Did he now?" Pretzel nodded her head frantically, so fast it made Harry dizzy just watching.

"Oh yes, sirs. He also said-" She was stopped by Draco putting a hand over her mouth, his cheeks tinted pink.

"Okay Pretzel, I think that's enough. Why don't you go tell mother we've arrived, and we'll come inside in a second, alright?" Pretzel nodded, and apparated away, leaving the two of them alone. 

"The prettiest green eyes, wow. I'm honored." 

"Shut up."

"Do you go around telling all the house elves how great I am? First Dobby, now Pretzel."

"How do you even _know_ about Dobby?"

"He paid me quite a few visits in second year. Kept trying to kill me, he did. Unintentionally, of course. But I told him to stop, he didn't listen. He kept saving me, and then he..." A conversation that had started out lighthearted was rapidly escalating, and the lump in Harry's throat burned, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over.

"Hey," Draco said, lifting Harry's chin up, though the Gryffindor wouldn't meet his eyes. "It's Christmas, there will be none of that," he says, wiping away a runaway tear, just as the door opens once again, causing Harry to jump back and give a small yelp.

"Harry dear, it's great to have you. Happy Christmas," Narcissa says, a big smile on her face. "Come in, you two must be freezing. Your hands are shaking." Harry looked down at his hands. They were, in fact, shaking, just not from the cold as Narcissa had assumed. He scowled at them, willing them to stop. They didn't. This was it, the feeling of being broken and helpless, and Harry was feeling it again. Happiness can never last forever.

"I'm just going to show him my room if that's alright with you mother." She nodded, and Draco grabbed Harry's trembling hand and dragged him inside. Harry gulped, looking at the familiar setting. Draco led him through the house, and Harry thought he heard a faint scream. His head had snapped up from where he'd been staring at the ground in seconds. His eyes widened when he saw Ron looking at him with wild eyes, before screaming Hermione's name repeatedly. He stumbled backwards, the warmth of Draco's hand leaving him. 

"R-ron?" he whispered, his voice cracking at the end. But then the screaming stopped, and Ron faded away. Harry was vaguely aware of the comforting whispers in his ear, or the arms wrapped around him. He stared at the wall in front of him, faint screams still ringing in his ear. Eventually the world faded to black as he fell into a calming sleep.

"Is he alright, dear?" Draco looked from the sleeping Harry in his arms to his mother. 

"I'm not sure. Maybe bringing to the manor wasn't such a good idea." Narcissa nodded, looking at the Gryffindor with a worried expression.

"Why don't you lie him down somewhere, it doesn't look like he's got much sleep lately." 

"Yeah..." Draco said, looking at the dark circles underneath Harry's eyes. He carefully stood up, carrying Harry in his arms to a nearby couch.

\----------------------------------

Harry awoke a few hours later, Draco sitting in a chair reading nearby. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Draco looked up at the noise, and closed his book when he saw Harry awake.

"Looks like the sleepyhead finally woke up."

"How long was I out?"

"Few hours, I'd say," Draco said, shrugging. Harry groaned and shoved his face in a pillow. Draco took a seat next to Harry and reached out to touch him, but thought better of it, and brought his hand back. "Do you...want to talk about it?"

"No. Will you just...hold me?" Harry really didn't care how pathetic he sounded. Draco nodded, and moved Harry onto his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist. They stayed like that for a little while, before Harry broke the silence. "I've got a present. For you, I mean." He reached into his pocket and grabbed his wand, using it to enlarge the present that he'd shrunk before he came. 

Draco took the box from Harry, and took the lid off. "Merlin Harry, how many chocolate frogs are in here?" Harry shrugged.

"I don't know, I just threw some in there. Keep looking." Draco moved some of the chocolate around, until his hand hit something hard. He pulled it out, seeing it was a book. A potions book. "There's one more thing in there." Draco nodded, and kept looking. When he couldn't find anything after a while, he gave up, and dumped the entire box's contents on the ground. His eyes landed on a slim rectangular thing.

"What's this?" he asked, picking it up.

"Just open it," he sighed, though he was watching Draco intently. Draco did, and he almost dropped the box when he saw it.

"My wand, you still had this?!"

"Do you, do you like it?" Harry asked, ringing his hands together.

"Of course I do, I've been using my mother's for months," he gave Harry a bone-crushing hug, though Harry really didn't mind all that much. "Thank you. Merlin, I love you so much," he whispered into Harry's ear. 

"Y-you do?" Harry asked. Draco pulled back horrified, and let out a small squeak. Both boys were quite red by now.

"What, no. What I _meant_ was that I like you so much. Ha ha..." He kept rambling, and it was actually quite adorable, in Harry's opinion.

"I love you, too."

"So you see, it was a simple mistake, a slip-up. So-wait, what?"

"I love you." Draco let out a sigh of relief, while Harry stood there, trying to hold in his laughter.

"So, um...I'll give you my present later. You'll either really hate me, or thank me a million times. Or both." Harry gave him a weird look. "Anyway, let's go find mother. She's been worried sick about you."

\---------------------------------

"Where are we going, Draco?"

"Just follow me. We're apparating, but we need to be outside the gates first." Harry hesitated, but nodded, and the two continued walking along the stony pathway to the gates of Malfoy Manor. When they reached the gate, Draco used his wand to open them, smiling a bit as he did. It felt good, the familiar grip on his wand, and the warmth that spread through his fingertips whenever he used it.

"Where exactly are we apparating to?"

"It's a surprise. Now grab my hand." He did, and Draco apparated them, the familiar feeling of being squeezed through a tube making Harry feel sick. He hated apparating. "We're here, you can open your eyes now. 

"Right, sorry." After the queasy feeling had passed, Harry opened his eyes, and his grip on Draco's hand tightened. "You took me _here_ , of all the places Draco."

"Hate me all you want, you should spend Christmas with your family."

"But-"

"Harry! Thank Merlin you're here, the food was starting to get cold." The Gryffindor flinched when Mrs. Weasley gave him a giant hug, and gave Draco a pleading look. The blond only chuckled, even more when Harry scowled at him playfully.

"Right, well, I'll be on my way then," Draco said, turning around.

"Just where do you think you're going, Mister Malfoy!" Mrs. Weasley said, pulling away from Harry and putting her hands on her hips.

"Uhhhh...home?"

"You most definitely are not! We've got plenty of food, and everyone's waiting, so you two better be out in the garden in five minutes, or I will drag you by the ear myself." She turned, and walked inside.

"Well, looks like you dragged yourself into this mess too. Come on, we better go, she really will drag us by the ear, did it once to Percy when he wouldn't leave his room, too busy studying or something." The two walked into the house, and Draco looked around curiously. Harry led him out the back door, where a bunch of people were waiting. All the Weasleys, Luna and her father, Pansy and her parents, Hermione, Blaise, Andromeda and Teddy, even Narcissa was there. Harry and Draco quickly let go of each other's hands at Andromeda and Narcissa's knowing looks.

"Happy Christmas, Harry," Hermione said, embracing him.

"Happy Christmas, Hermione," he said, returning the hug just as tightly, knowing they both needed it.

Dinner with everyone was better than Harry had expected. For once, it seemed, no one had to fake any smiles or laughs. Though it wouldn't last, they had that moment to be happy. 

Harry was still broken, he always would be. Well, unless PTSD miraculously became curable one day, or he forgot about Ron and his parents, and everyone else he'd lost. But he was only eighteen, he had his whole life ahead of him. He had Hermione, and the Weasleys. He had Draco, and Teddy and Andromeda. 

Harry James Potter was a broken, bisexual disaster. And that was okay.


	41. Epilogue

_5 years later..._

"Papa, guess what!" Teddy said.

"What is it, Ted?" Harry asked, looking up from the letter he'd received.

"Dray took me flying on his broomstick!" Harry raised an eyebrow at Draco, who had just walked in.

"Hey, don't look at me. It was his idea," the blond said, putting his hands up in surrender. Harry rolled his eyes, before going back to reading his letter. "Who's that from?" Draco asked, peering over his shoulder.

"McGonagall. She wants to see me, not sure what for."

"Maybe she just realized how horrible your N.E.W.T. scores were, and she wants you to repeat your seventh year...again." Harry shoved his shoulder, though he was laughing.

"Hey! My N.E.W.T. scores weren't even that bad, I had mostly E's."

"Whatever you say. Come on Teddy, let's go make lunch." 

"Kay, Dray. I want sandwiches," the five year old said, grabbing the ferret's hand.

"Sandwiches it is then," he said laughing as they walked into the kitchen. The two came back out a few minutes later with a plate of sandwiches. Harry eyed them hungrily, but stopped when he saw Teddy. 

"Excuse me, why is his hair _blond_? Teddy, what did Draco give you this time?" The child opened his hands, revealing a small chocolate bar. Harry sighed, giving Draco an exasperated look. "Alright, you can have the chocolate after you've finished your lunch. And Draco, don't forget Pansy and Hermione are coming over for dinner." Draco looked up from his food.

"Oh, are they?" he said nervously, making Harry sigh.

"What did you do this time?"

"Well, Blaise seemed really set on me coming over tonight, said it was important."

"Just have him come here, if he wants. You know what, I'll invite Ginny and Luna as well. Remember the last time we forgot to invite the two." Both boys shuddered.

"That was the most impressive and scary thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Ginny can be quite frightening when she wants to be."

"She's always frightening." Draco nodded in agreement, and the two went back to their lunch.

\---------------------------------

Harry stepped out of the floo, using his wand to clean up the mess he'd made.

"You wanted to see me, Headmaster?" McGonagall turned around.

"Yes, take a seat." Harry walked over to the spare chair and sat, feeling awkward sitting there like he had so many times before. "How are you?"

"Uhhh...good?"

"I couldn't help but notice you're currently unemployed. Is there any reason?"

"Well, I tried a few things. Auror wasn't for me, so Charlie invited me to Romania to see if I'd like working with dragons any better. I was there a few months, but I didn't like it any better, maybe even worse. So then I looked into being a healer, but at the time I was looking into adopting my godson, and I didn't have the time. So, once Teddy was adopted, I just decided to focus my life on raising him."

"I see. And, if I'm not mistaken, your fiancè works here as well?" Harry nodded, confused as to where this was going. 

"He does, yes. Why?" She sighed, putting a hand on her forehead and shaking her head.

"I'm offering you a job here, Mr. Potter. There's an opening for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, and you would be the preferable option."

"Preferable? Who else are you considering?" At this, her face formed something of a scowl, though it was hard to tell.

"Mr. McLaggen applied, as well as Romilda Vane, but I'd rather not give the position to either of them." Harry thought it over. 

"Neither would I, but what would I do about Teddy?"

"He is welcome to stay in the castle, as long as you can keep him under control. He could sit in with you or Mr. Malfoy during classes, or I suppose Filch can always take care of him."

"No no, that wouldn't be necessary." McGonagall raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. "Um...I actually have to get home soon, and I should probably talk to Draco about this thing, so..."

"Just give me your decision sometime this week."

"Right, thanks. See you, Professor." And with A handful of floo powder, and a call of his destination, he was gone. A small smile was on McGonagall's lips as she watched him leave.

\------------------------------

"I hate travelling by floo," Harry muttered, using his glasses to fix his glasses that had broken when he fell out of the chimney.

"Papa! Aunt Hermione and Aunt Pansy are here!" Teddy leaned in closer to whisper in Harry's ear. "Auntie Pansy gave me three whole chocolate frogs, but I'm not s'posed to tell anybody."

"Alright, I'll keep it a secret for you. Now why don't you go find Rose and play with her, I'm sure she'll be very happy to see you." Teddy's face scrunched up.

"She's a girl, and girl's have cooties. I don't want cooties, Papa." Harry laughed, and picked the small boy up, placing him on top of his shoulders. Teddy shrieked, and grabbed fistfuls of Harry's hair to steady himself. Harry walked into the living room, and found Hermione and Pansy sitting on the couch, Rose in between them, sitting upside down blowing hair out of her face. Her face brightened when she saw the boy atop Harry's shoulders.

"Teddy!" the girl shrieked, hopping off the couch. "Hey, come down here and play with me!" 

"Rose Granger-Parkinson, Teddy is perfectly capable of making his own decisions! And I don't recall hearing you use your inside voice," Hermione scolded, making Rose blush and look down at her toes.

"Yeah Rose, you're not the boss of me," Teddy said, sticking his tongue. Rose returned the action, and Harry set Teddy back down on the ground. The two proceeded to run around the house, screaming and chasing each other.

"I'm going to help with dinner. You can let the others in when they arrive." The two nodded, and Harry went into the kitchen, finding Draco tossing a salad. He stopped and looked up when Harry walked in.

"Hey you. What'd McGonagall want?"

"To offer me a job." Draco raised an eyebrow at this.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts, I presume." Harry nodded. "Are you going to take it?"

"I don't know, should I?" The blond looked at him like he was insane.

"Should you take it? Of course, it's perfectly up to you, but I say yes."

"Yeah, I mean, I want to, but Teddy-"

"-would think it was the coolest thing ever to live in a castle." Harry laughed.

"He probably would. I don't know what I was worried about."

"Great. Professor Potter, would you mind helping take dinner out to the dining room?" Harry rolled his eyes, but helped anyway. When they had finished with that, the pair went into the living room, finding Ginny and Luna there as well.

"Oh look, the lovebirds showed up. And where is Blaise, he's fifteen minutes late! I'm starving, and you do not want to see me hangry!" Pansy groaned.

"Think she already is," Draco muttered into Harry's ear, but Pansy heard, and gave him the nastiest glare Harry had ever seen. 

"Finally," Pansy cried when a knock was heard. Harry opened it, but was shocked when it was George instead of Blaise who answered.

"Blaise is just freaking out, he'll be here soon," George said, smirking. Harry nodded, inviting him in. Just seconds later, Blaise had apparated there, and Harry let him in as well.

After the kids had been found and calmed down, everyone sat down and began digging in. Teddy scowled at his vegetables, and didn't touch them until Harry practically forced them down his throat. On the bright side, he got to eat two of the three chocolate frogs Auntie Pansy gave him.

"Everyone, I have an announcement to make," Harry said, standing up. "I'm going to be the new DADA professor starting next year."

"Oh Harry, that's wonderful! Finally you'll be getting out of your house more often," Hermione said, a bright smile on her face.

"Hey, I get out of the house plenty!"

"Oh really?" Ginny said, raising an eyebrow. "When was the last time then?"

"Just last week, when I took Teddy with me to the supermarket."

"You haven't been out of the house in a week! Merlin Harry, how are you not going insane," Pansy sighed, giving him a weird look. Harry muttered something under his breath, folding his arms and pouting like a child.

"Aren't you all going to congratulate the new couple?" Luna asked, looking around at each of them.

"New couple? What are you talking about?" Blaise shrunk down in his seat slightly, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

"Why, Blaise and George of course. I thought it was fairly obvious, the nargles are swarming them."

"WHAT!" everyone besides the three said, turning to look at the two. 

"Surprise," Blaise said, clearing his throat a bit.

"Yes, I had this whole thing planned out, I even made you all Canary Creams. They were essential, trust me. But alas, I have no need for them any longer. Here Teddy, would you like one?"

"Uhhhh..."

"Say no, Teddy."

"No?"

"Good."

"I want it, give it to me!" Rose said, reaching for the treat. She took a big bite out of it, just as her parents tried to stop her. When she turned into a canary, Hermione glared at George.

"Not this prank again. You did the same thing to Neville in fourth year."

"In my defense, that was unintentional." Harry smiled as the two continued bickering, while Pansy tried to make her daughter human again. Yeah, his life was weird, and a bit messed up. That had been decided for him the night Voldemort killed his parents. But Harry liked his weird, and a bit messed up life.

He liked it a lot.


End file.
